Page 9 of Frost Bitten
I huff out a long breath, knowing exactly what he’s feeling. I’ve at least taken my own advice, working out close to six hours a day for the past week, just to help myself fall asleep. I pull into Bast’s family driveway and around to the parking area by the garage, trying to hype myself up to head inside and continue the training for the remaining two guys on my team.
I walk in and head straight to the office. Quickly, I prepare my pre-workout supplement and then chug half the protein shake I have stashed in my office. I put the rest in the fridge for after the workout and head into the gym to begin stretching. I take my position on the mats and begin going through my routine. I know my now thirty-three-year-old body isn’t old by any means, but I’m ready to slow the aging process, which means complete muscle therapy and stretching. As I’m finishing up, Cam walks in. I notice the time, and that I’m already an hour ahead of my normal schedule. I guess that’s the guilt taking its effect on my body.
Cameron says nothing as he stashes his gear and hops up on the treadmill to begin his warm up. The thing with these guys being over eight years younger is they don’t have to stretch prior to warming up. He pops in his headphones, blasting the music.Point taken, asshole. You don’t want to talk, I get it.Fifteen minutes on the treadmill, slowly increasing speed and incline, and I’m finally ready to start punishing myself on the circuit of weights and various machines we have around the gym. Cam finishes his warm up at the same time but starts on the opposite side of the gym. He really is in a mood after brooding all weekend, I guess.
After several sets on about five different machines, I make my way to the free weights. On my way, I see Cam on his phone. “Everything ok, man?” I ask.
“Hey, yeah,” he replies. “Bast isn’t coming down just yet. He ran an errand; I’m not sure how long it will take him. I told him to stop by and drag Corey in with him once he’s done, kicking and screaming if he needs to.”
“Yeah, I called him this morning. Said he only got like three hours of sleep. He’s so fucking messed up right now. I told him he needs to get in here and exhaust himself.”
Cameron barely spares me a glance and moves across the gym to finish his weight training on the machines I just left. I can’t help but get the feeling he’s purposefully ignoring casual conversation with me. Is this possibly the way guilt is affecting him? I mean, he’s the one who instigated this all. If anyone should feel guilty, it’s him, but damn it, I wish none of us had to feel like this. None of us wanted anything to happen. I wonder how Cam really feels. About Halloween and about Cait. He’s always kept his opinions to himself, but I have to think he feels some sort of remorse for that night. I know he was only trying to get her to be upfront with everyone, but forcing her hand is not the way to get communication.
* * *
I have to start thinking about how I’m going to make this up to Cait. A flat-out apology is really the only thing I can offer, right now, but I know I’ll need to do something. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to say I’m sorry enough.
The day has been hell. My stomach isn’t taking kindly to my lack of proper nutrition and overexertion of the past few days. It always kicks my ass as the morning passes. I’m working with Cam on the trampoline, practicing jumps and rotations on the practice board, when Bast saunters in before lunch, dragging Corey along. Corey appears pissed as hell, but at least he’s here. “Yo, guy., I have some news,” Bast announces, grinning as he works his way through the gym. “Meet me in the conference room. I’m grabbing Corey a coffee.”
My head tilts back to Cam with curiosity, and I proceed to make my way out of the gym. “Come on, dude. This obviously must be something about Cait, seeing how bright-eyed Bast is,” I toss back to him. A grumble reaches my ears, but after a moment to release the bindings, so do heavy footsteps, so I know he’s following. I can’t imagine why the asshole is grumpy now, but maybe he’s just hoping this all drifts away. Sorry, dude, this isn’t a snowstorm that will blow through. This is like a blizzard, leaving damage that will take days and weeks to recover from.
I grab four water bottles from the office fridge on our way to meet the guys. Cam and I enter the meeting room together, finding our seats at the table, and within minutes Corey and Bast join us. “Ok,” Bast begins. “Who has plans for tomorrow evening?” He looks around, but before anyone can answer, he proceeds. “Whatever they are, cancel them. We’re having a team dinner here tomorrow.”
“Um, why are you calling a team dinner?” I hesitantly ask.
“It’s time. I invited Cait,” he says, but before he can continue, Cam stands up and begins to storm out.
“That’s bullshit, I’m out.”
“Why are you having her come here, confronting us all?” Corey exclaims at the same time. “We shouldn’t be forcing her to do anything else!”
“Cam, get your ass back to the table,” I order before he can get through the door. “Corey, let's just let Bast explain his actions.”
Cameron pauses before stomping back over to the table and sullenly slumping back into his chair; the arrogant, pissed-off look he loves to wear is written all over his face. I don’t care, he can be pissed at me all he wants, but we need to resolve this.
“Ok,” Bast continues. “I went to see her today. None of us have heard from her in the last week. Corey, I know you reached out to her last week, too many times to count. I also tried texting her, but she didn’t respond. So, I needed her to know we truly were sorry. Right, Cam?” he says, glaring pointedly at the asshole.
“Yeah, I mean, we didn’t want her to get hurt,” he says, still sulking.
“Ok. And you wanted to know why she was acting totally different, right? Maybe want to know whatever it is she hasn’t already shared?” Bast says, addressing him still.
“Yeah. I always said she was hiding something.”
“Fuck you, man,” Corey yells, jumping to his feet and sending his chair flying. “Fuck you and your insecurities! I get you’re protective of us, but none of us wanted to abandon her that night, and you kept insisting that she was leading us on. We left her in that haunted house because you insisted she was working some angle. She was attacked because of you, because you said we shouldn’t trust her!” I finally see some sort of energy and passion from him, but it’s unfortunately at the expense of his best friend.
“You agreed! You went along with it!” Cam growls back.
“Because you wouldn’t let usnotagree! You are so adamant when something pops into your head, it has to happen.” Corey snaps. “You’re like a dog with a bone when you get an idea. No one can argue any logic when you become hyper-focused on something, and it’s not fair to the rest of us!”
“Guys! Sit down, and shut the fuck up!” I bark, standing to my own feet. “It’s no longer about you; this is about Cait, and how our actions harmed her. You both need to put your arrogance to the side and accept that we owe her. She deserves to say to us whatever she wants, whether it be to curse us out and tell us to fuck off or to give us all the dirty details, so our guilt has something to ruminate on. So you both are going to shut the hell up and go along with anything that involves her, or you will be cut from any competitions until you make it right with her! I will not have either of you fucked in the head about her and what happened and struggle to compete. You’ll either fail miserably and ruin any sponsorship opportunities, or severely injure yourself because your head isn’t in the game!”
I stand there, panting after my tirade, waiting for either of the dumbasses to say a word. When they seem to be settled, sitting in their chairs and looking rightfully reprimanded, I take a steady breath to calm myself. After I’m seated, I open my water bottle and take a quick gulp. Damn, these guys are brothers to me, but they definitely annoy the shit out of me when their attitudes get out of control.
“Alright. Well, I invited her here tomorrow at eight pm for dinner. I’ll have Ms. Sally make us something off of your approved menu, Dom, and I’m sure she can adapt it for Cait. But I wanted to make sure she had the opportunity to say whatever she wanted to us while knowing she had our undivided attention, and that we all wanted to be able to personally apologize. I feel like we know most of what happened; it just feels like there is something missing. I’m afraid that once she trusts us enough to tell us everything, we are going to have much more to apologize for than we realize. She knows this is one hundred percent voluntary, but guys, I’ve never seen her look so lost. Even when she first arrived in Golden, she still wore a smile. It was shy, but it was there. You all didn’t see her today; it’s like she’s not there. We need to help heal her, guys. We need to make amends, to slowly help her rebuild herself. She’s cracked open, broken into pieces, and it’s our fault.”
Everyone sits there, thinking about what’s been said. I glance at Corey, and he at least seems resolved that this is the right move. Turning to Cam, he’s looking around at his brothers, really observing them. “Cam, what are you thinking?” I ask.
He swivels in his chair, turning to me. “I’m wondering just how long this is going to affect us. Just how much my mistake is going to hurt us when all I was trying to do was protect us.” He shakes his head before dropping it to rest in his hands. “I didn’t want to hurt her, obviously. I just didn’t want anything to happen to our team. I didn’t know she had someone stalking her, and I would’ve never suggested leaving her alone had I known. I just didn’t want you all to get involved with the same person and get yourselves hurt, let alone someone who might have been emotionally unavailable.”
