Page 10 of Frost Bitten
I sit and think about that last part. I’ve never considered being involved with her, but I honestly left myself open, considering I knew she was already with Corey. Did I really expect her to have something with me too?
Bast speaks up once more, “Can you all at least acknowledge that we owe her a chance to completely offload whatever she has to say to us?” We all nod; I know I can’t form the words; I’m still too ashamed I was even a part of this. I can imagine the guys all feel the same way. “And can you agree, each of us owes her an honest apology? One that she isn’t obligated to accept? Because we really fucked up, guys,” Bast says with a sigh.
“We need to do this,” I say. “She deserves it. We need to sit here and take our lashings because she’s already taken the same because of us. And secondly, because, you – no, we – need to be able to start healing. You have three competitions in the next six weeks, you need to be able to fully focus on training. However the peace between us comes, whether from her breaking everything off, or accepting our apologies, we need to make this right.”
The room is quiet, and finally, we all are at peace with the last week, for now. There is no telling what tomorrow will bring.
SIX
CAIT
Monday is a complete blur. I wake up, get ready, drop Lily at school, and head to work, not focusing on anything specific. After having the weekend to recuperate, I feel somewhat better, though still bordering on the edge of losing it all at a moment’s notice.
When Bast shows up at the café, memories flood my senses. Memories of Jason and his devious, disturbing behavior tease at my consciousness. Luckily, I am able to push those away, only for memories of the guys to replace them. Memories of fun times, times they held me close in a hug, or memories of content smiles from just being around me. Memories of the good times, like the pool, and Bast’s coffee date, and Corey’s tour around the town. Then, memories of that night shift the good ones out of the way. Memories of their cold, standoffish behavior, memories of them acting like we weren’t as close as we had been. Memories of walking through my worst nightmare, only to find myself alone. Alone with my fears, like I’ve always been. I mean, Mom has been around, and she did her best, but the nightmares – those have been going on for years. I only got a short reprieve after the hypnotherapy.
Seeing Bast approach the counter, I feel my soul shut off. My mind raises the barricades to protect itself. I don’t know how I even say anything. I guess my body just takes over, knowing I am at work, and that it has a job to do. When he orders his coffee and asks for the opportunity to apologize in the same breath, I am taken aback. The mask I’d put up cracks, and I don’t know how to respond. Like, he literally requests permission in the same tone as he requests his coffee.Sneaky bastard.And asking for theopportunity?The respect, to not just dump it on me, or to try to force an apology on me, that right there makes me want to give him the chance. Internally rolling my eyes, I can’t bring myself to refuse his polite request. I’m such a sucker for respect. I don’t know how I work till my break, but I just keep putting one foot in front of the other.I wonder if that’s what robots feel like.
By the time I’m ready for my break, I remove my apron and take it to the back, that way no one will think I’m working as I walk out to see Sebastien. When I return from the office area, Bast is waiting for me. He’s so goddamn beautiful, but knowing what they all did, holds my hormones in check. He politely offers his hand behind my back to escort me outside, so I follow his lead. I don’t want to have this conversation in public, but I’ll take going outdoors over staying in the café where customers can eavesdrop.
We walk silently down the sidewalk until he decides to guide me to a quiet bench, and we awkwardly sit side by side. It doesn’t take him long to begin speaking, though. “Cait,” he says softly. “I know we all made a grave mistake.”
He continues and says something about Corey sabotaging his career out of guilt. The fact that Corey is punishing himself so harshly it hurts my heart. I still feel betrayed by him, but I never thought he was the one to organize this. Fuck. I want him to suffer, but not at the expense of what he’s worked at least a decade for.
“Cait, I’m sorry we abandoned you,” he continues. He stops to take a nervous breath, and I can tell that this wasn’t him, but he still went along, just like Corey.
Continuing his apology, it’s like he knows exactly what to say to get my heart to soften to his pleas. How could he hurt me so badly, and yet know the exact words to stitch me back together?
“Would you be willing to meet at my house tomorrow? To discuss everything you’d need if you were going to give us another chance with your trust?” This makes me pause. I mean, I haven’t moved, I haven’t even shifted my facial expression or focus from the tree across the street the entire time he was talking, but my mind pauses at this. Am I willing to do this? Are they worth a second chance? It takes me a moment, but the respect he gave me by asking for a chance to apologize is what finally convinces me. I stand, it’s time to get back to work; but as I take a step back toward the café, I ask over my shoulder, “What time?” I can sense his tension wash away, even just a little bit. When he responds by saying eight p.m., I know for a fact I’m going to have to get Ella to come with me as my bodyguard. Maybe “heart” guard would be a better title, though. I’m going to need someone by my side as I face off with all four of them. I nod at him and go back to Lift. Sebastien doesn’t follow, and I finally take a breath as I put my mask of normalcy back on, at least for now.
Somehow, I make it back into the café. The day passes in a fog as I consider just what I’ll tell the guys. I mean, I’ll have to tell them about my childhood, our move to Killington, and my damage when it comes to sex. Maybe if I tell them that, up front, they won’t play any games? They’ll all stop flirting with me. I don’t mind the flirting, but there is no way they all like me, and I can’t keep going with this, knowing it’s just a game.
After work, I call Ella. “Cait? Are you ok? What’s wrong?” Her panicked response to my first phone call since that night is comforting, knowing she’ll always be there to help me pick up my pieces.
“Nothing, but thank you for checking on that right away.” I smile into the phone. “I do need a favor, though.”
“Anything, just name it,” she replies confidently.
“Do you work tomorrow evening?” I ask.
“Nope. I work a mid-shift, I start at eleven. I told you the doctor said I only needed an air cast for a couple of weeks, right? It’s still a pain in the ass, but at least I can work.”
“I don’t think you did. I haven’t made the effort to text on the iPad. And good, I open up, I’m glad we work together tomorrow,” I murmur. Speaking up, I continue, “I need you to go somewhere with me tomorrow.”
“Done. I’ll pick you up after I go home and change out of my work clothes. Where are we going?”
“Well,” I begin. “Bast came into Lift today.”
Silence on the other end of the phone tells me that Ella isn’t happy I was ambushed at work.
“It’s ok, I promise. He was a complete gentleman and even asked for theopportunityto apologize.” I pause, letting her hear exactly what I said. “He waited till I had a break, and then he escorted me outside, so we’d have privacy from the café. Then he explained how they all knew they made a mistake. He said they understand that their actions kind of put me at risk, but that they would like to hear my whole story if I was willing to tell it.”
“Now,” I go on, not giving her a chance to spout off. “I’m willing, but I need my best friend at my side. Corey is self-destructing over the guilt, and I know this wasn’t his fault, exactly. Plus, with how close we’ve gotten, I think it’s time to tell him my damage, and I may as well tell the other guys, too, since they are all a team.”
I hear her take a deep breath and blow it out, like she’s trying to restrain herself. “Girl, I’ll go with you. But if they interrupt you, or say one thing to argue with you about what happened, my BFF claws will come out. That’s the only warning I’ll give.”
I chuckle, so glad I finally have someone that has my back. “Thank you. I love you, girl.”
“I love you too. I’m always going to be there for you. I know you haven’t had close friends in a long time, but that’s mostly that fucktard Jason’s fault. You can trust I’ll be there by your side, babe,” she reassures me.
