Page 8 of Frost Bitten
I get it, I was wrong. I mean, I was right, she was hiding shit, but for totally the wrong reasons. But his moping is getting to a dangerous level. At least you punish yourself with fitness. He needs to train or risk his season.
I know, bro. I just worry that because of this, he might be willing to give it up.
Cam
Are you serious? Over a girl?!
She’s not just any “girl.” This one… she’s peace. Comfort. She’s home.
Cam
Whatever. Just whenever you do make your way in here, bring the pouty baby along.
I think about his reaction to Corey, and our views on Cait. He’s always been an asshole, but I see inside his rough outer shell. He’s jealous. He wants the peace that Cait brings us. He wants love. I just hope when I next see her, I can convince her to give us another chance.
* * *
After a couple of hours, Cait walks in and heads straight to the back. She didn’t see me, so that’s a good thing; she can’t react negatively while she’s on the clock. I give her another fifteen minutes before I head back up to the counter to purchase another coffee. I watch her closely as I approach, wary of hurting her again. When she finally does notice me, she pauses, closes her eyes, and takes a deep breath. When she opens her eyes again, I can tell she’s shuttered her emotions, as a dark gray gaze as cold as a steel door is reflected back at me. “Hi,” I murmur, unwilling to do anything to hurt her. Again.
“Hi, what can I get for you?” she says succinctly, straight to business. I would expect nothing less.
“I’d like another double latte, please,” I politely request my order before pausing, “and I’d like to have a chance to apologize when you have a moment.” She pauses in the middle of ringing in my order and looks up at me. That cold expression falters for just a moment, and a flare of hope sparks in my chest. After she completes my order, she turns to make my coffee, and I just wait patiently for her.
“Bast.” She calls out my name when she has my coffee ready, and I approach to collect it, knowing I’ve made my request, and the ball is in her court. I move to return to my table when I hear her sweet voice. “I just started, but if you’re still here in an hour and a half, I can take a fifteen-minute break.” I smile to myself. Yes! I have a chance. I turn slightly, look over my shoulder, give her a nod of acknowledgment, and let her get back to work.
I watch the time on my phone carefully, and exactly ninety minutes later, I watch her take off her apron and place it in the office. I meet her at the counter and ask her to accompany me outside to chat. We walk silently down the street, and when I happen to notice a park bench along the plaza, I invite her to sit. “Cait,” I begin tentatively. “I know we all made a grave mistake. I also know that you don’t want to hear excuses, so I won’t offer any. I’m here to apologize for my part in what happened last week. I know you told us some of what happened, but that night was extremely traumatic for you, and I think we all were confused about everything that had happened up until that point. I’m asking you to forgive me. I know that doesn’t wipe away the pain you’ve been going through, but I’d like the chance to make it up to you. To restore your faith in me. I can absolutely guarantee Corey feels the same way; he’s on the verge of ruining his competition chances for this year because he’s punishing himself for his part. He’s sabotaging himself because he feels unworthy for how he acted.” Cait sits there, unmoving. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen her show less emotion than she is right now, and it’s scary.
“Cait, I’m sorry we abandoned you. I’m not going to place blame, because I was a part of it too, but I think we were all just confused with how you were acting toward us. We got mixed signals, and we were trying to get you to reach out to us. To call us. We just didn’t know what was going on. One of us even thought you might be hiding something.
“None of this is an excuse, I’ve said that, but I want you to at least see what we were thinking, and hopefully you can understand our confusion. I’d really like it if we could all gather for a meeting to discuss what happened. I think it would help us if we were told flat-out what was going on. I know you don’t owe us anything, but I think communication here is key. I know Corey misses you. He’s completely heartbroken without you, a shell of a man. I’d like it if we could be given the opportunity to earn back your trust.” I pause, letting her take in everything I’ve said. “Would you be willing to meet at my house tomorrow? To discuss everything you’d need to say if you were going to give us another chance with your trust?”
She sits there, thinking silently for about thirty seconds, before standing. She goes to walk away, but she halts her steps, before whispering over her shoulder, “What time?” I barely hear the words, I only know she said something because I was watching the way she was chewing on her lip.
“Maybe eight pm?” I ask. I know we have an early evening workout, but I figure I can ask Ms. Sally to make us a special meal, and we can talk over dinner. She nods, before turning and walking back into the café. The way this woman before me has changed in the last few weeks truly scares me, and I can’t help but thinkwhat the fuck have we done?
FIVE
DOMINIC
This past week has been fucking hell. Since the nightmare that was Halloween, I’ve had guilt hanging over me as thick as a woolen cloak and as heavy as chain mail. It’s oppressive, knowing I took part in something that caused emotional, mental, and physical trauma. I’ve been rethinking every part of the last several weeks, wondering if there was something I could have done differently. I mean, I’d practically told her that same night that I was interested in her, and then let her feel abandoned. I feel like a complete douche for allowing it to happen. I didn’t even do anything for my birthday on the third, because why should I celebrate? I took part in something seriously fucked up.
I crawl out of bed and prepare for the day, gathering my things before I head to Bast’s house. I throw on some sweats and a beanie because it’s downright chilly this morning, reminding me that winter is fast approaching. I quickly turn on my Range Rover, cranking the heat, and I can’t help but let my mind wander back to Cait. She’s always been such a bright influence on the guys, and every time I’ve seen her, she’s had a smile on her face. Until that night, that is. I should’ve known something was wrong. It’s not like I didn’t see how her smile had faded or how dull her eyes were. I can recognize the difference now; they sayhindsight is twenty-twenty.
I get on the road, now that the cabin of the SUV is warm. I quickly observe the day and notice that the sky is overcast. I can’t help but think to myself how fitting it is, how the weather matches my mood and the recent events. As I drive, I have to shift my focus. I need to concentrate on my job. I know I have guilt and emotions trying to overwhelm my heart, but I cannot allow that to completely take over; I have people relying on me. Cameron is likely to be ok; he’s so dedicated. I don’t know if anything would throw him off his training routine. Which reminds me, I need to call Corey and make sure he’s coming to training this morning. He’s wallowed enough. I dial his number, and finally, on the fifth ring, he picks up, sounding like hell.
“What?”a grumbled, sleep-filled voice answers the phone.
“Corey. It’s Dom. Get your ass up and get to the gym.”
“Fuck you. I’ve had like three hours of sleep. You’re lucky I even answered the phone.”
“Dude,” I reply. “What’s going on? What can I do for you? You haven’t been yourself. I know you’re upset, but this isn’t ok. You’re letting yourself go, not training and all.”
“Nothing, man. I haven’t been able to sleep since last week. Every time I close my eyes, I see the marks on her body and the dead look in her eyes. I know that I was at least partially responsible, and it’s tearing me apart.”
“I get it. I really do…” I let my voice trail off. I think about how we’re all suffering in our own way over the treatment we inadvertently administered. “Alright, get a few more hours of sleep, if you can. But get your ass over to Bast’s house at some point this morning. The workout will help exhaust you. You might also feel better after you punish yourself.”
“Whatever, man, we’ll see.”Click.
