Page 142 of When She Loves
“How? Because she makes you feel emotions? Because she makes you give a shit about something other than strength and power?”
“Yes.”
“Then let yourself be compromised. Accept it. Work with it. Get stronger because of it. You know which man fights the hardest? The man who’s got something real to lose.”
I think back to Gino Ferraro. There was a time when his family was far weaker than ours, but in the past decade, they’ve managed to surpass us. Only now it dawns on me why that is. He’s got people he loves in his life. People he wants to protect.
“Our father tried to stomp out your humanity, but thankfully, he failed. He died without ever having lived, Rafe. Can’t you see it? Nothing he had was real.” She stands up and spreads her arms, gesturing at the lavish living room, at the house from which our father ran his kingdom. “This? This isn’t real. Our father thought he had everything, and yet, how did he die?”
“He died alone.” My sisters never came home to say goodbye to him and I didn’t force them. Mamma stayed at the Hamptons the entire time he was ill. He was cared for by nurses who hated his guts for speaking to them like they were subhuman.
Elena nods. “He died alone. Despite his millions, he was the poorest man I’d ever known.”
My sisters are right. Why would I continue down the path of a man I hated? He may have been the only teacher I’ve ever had, but I don’t have to keep his lessons with me any longer. I can choose my own path as don.
Elena studies me. “I’ll admit, I thought the marriage between you and Cleo was another soulless match, much like our parents’. But I’m starting to think otherwise.”
Fabi’s lips form a sad smile. “What you have with Cleoisreal. Isn’t it?”
Slowly, I rake my fingers through my hair. I thought being with Cleo would end with me losing it all. But I was wrong.
I lost it all when I sent her away.
I love her. Fuck, I’m a fool.
I place my elbows on my knees and press my forehead into my palms. A moment later, the sofa dips. My sisters appear beside me, one on either side of me. For the first time I can remember, they wrap their arms around me and hold me tightly.
The ache in the back of my throat spreads through my chest. Slowly, hesitantly, I return their embrace. “I’ve made a terrible mistake, haven’t I?”
“You can fix it,” Elena says against my hair. “Go after her.”
Can I? Can I undo all the damage I caused when I was trying so hard to deny my own feelings that I showed no concern for her own?
Elena pulls back and looks me in the eye. “Tell her what you told us and allow yourself to feel all the pain that comes with that. Open up to her the way you finally opened up to us.”
I only wish I’d done it sooner instead of waiting for so long. My relationship with Elena and Fabi suffered terribly because I refused to be even a little vulnerable around them.
I squeeze Elena’s shoulder, grateful for her support. “I’m not sure it will be enough.”
Fabi slides a comforting palm down my back. “Don’t you think that if anyone knows what it’s like to have a messed-up dad, it’s her?”
There’s a chance Cleo will understand. I’d be a coward not to take that chance.
It won’t be as easy as just showing up and telling her I’m sorry.
But that’s a good place to start.
CHAPTER43
CLEO
After two daysof relaxing on our girls’ weekend, we’re about to get on the road back to Casale di Principe. I climb inside the car with a full belly and an Aperol-spritz-fueled buzz from the lazy late lunch at a restaurant that served the best pasta I’ve ever had.
“This trip was a great idea,” I say with a smile.
Gemma grins at me. “Yeah?”
“I feel a lot better.”
