Page 2 of The Time It Takes
“Wait!” His desperate tone stopped me in my tracks. I questioned whether I could go through with this, but the truth was I knew I didn’t have much of a choice. I needed to get as far away from here as I could, but for some reason, I found myself looking over my shoulder at him and I was met with a set of deep green eyes that called me home. I had wished for months that they’d be enough to keep me sane, to keep me feeling worthy of the body they’re connected to. But they never did.
He weaved his shoulders to avoid bumping into people as he made his way to me again. When he finally reached me, I could tell he didn’t have a clue what he wanted to say.
He knows.
He knew the chances were slim of seeing me again anytime soon. He knew I was running, but what he didn’t know was that I was trying to stick to the one thing my brother fought for me to become.
He knew I probably wouldn't call. He knew I wasn’t me anymore and that we were not us.
Running a hand through his messy blond hair, he asked, “Why do I feel like I’m never going to see you again?”
When I remained silent, he took another step closer and then another. His movements were slow, and he made sure to give me enough time to object, but this time I didn’t. I could grant him this one last time before I took it away from him.
You still have my heart, you always will.
“I know I’m losing you and it’s scaring the shit out of me, Will.” His hand lifted to touch me, but he thought better of it. His eyes dropped and I wondered if he realized how impossible his next words were in that moment. “Just come back to me, Damsel.”
I wiped the tear that slipped down my face. “I can’t.” Wiping away the single tear suddenly felt ridiculous because only more started to fall. “It hurts, Ollie,” I croaked. I wasn’t me anymore and it hurt. I refused to stay and bleed my hurt on the people I love.
A pained expression crossed his face. “Do you love me?” he asked. My brows knitted together at such a ridiculous question. “If you love me, then don’t give up on this. Don’t give up on us.”
I inhaled sharply at his request. He was asking for too much. I wanted to tell him that I’d fight until my knuckles bled, but I’m not sure he’d believe me. I knew what it felt like to lose, and I was sick of feeling left behind. This was for me and Ben; who would tell me that I owed it to myself to fight for me first.
Oliver didn’t know that while my body stood there in front of him, I was already gone.
“I have to go,” I repeated my earlier statement under my breath.
He shook his head, his jaw twitching. One, two, three times. I wondered if the ache it caused screamed as loud as he wanted to. I could almost imagine hearing the crack in his chest as he whispered into the wall between us, “You’re breaking my heart, Damsel.”
A sob tried to wrack through my body, but I swallowed it. “I’m breaking my own,” I admitted with a shaky voice.
His face changed then to something absolute. The face he wore now waved the white flag. This was the act of surrendering to the will of our damned fate.
His voice dropped low when he said, “You go, then. You go and do whatever it is you have to do. If leaving is what you need, then go. Go to Juilliard and don’t look back if that’s what you really want.” My face crumbled in misery, and I didn’t have the energy to object when his arms went around me. They were light as if I was made of paper, and he was afraid to crumple me.
My forehead fell onto his chest, so I felt his next words as I heard them. “I’ve had the best time of my life falling in love with you and I’m nowhere near finished.” I felt the warm press of his lips on my scalp as his arms tightened for a moment then they were gone completely.
Our eyes locked and there were so many things left unspoken that my soul crushed under its weight.
My Oliver. My person.
“In another life?” I asked quietly, my voice hoarse as I took a step backward, pulling my suitcase with me.
He tapped his heart with his fist. “This one, Will. I’ll have you in this one.” I took another step away from him as he pressed his hand flat to his chest. “When you’re ready, come home and break my heart some more.” He winked, but it lacked his earth-shattering grin.
My entire body shuddered as my heart ripped to shreds. I turned away from him and walked into the airport, not looking back. Not daring to.
Once I boarded the flight and was sitting in my seat, my fear of flying hit me like a brick and my palms started to dampen in sweat. Just as I was putting my headphones in, a woman appeared over the section, stuffing her duffel bag into the compartment. When I realized she was sitting next to me, I faced away from her. I pretended to fiddle with the window cover as I saw her sit down out of the corner of my eye.
I was thankful that she left the seat between us empty. I already felt claustrophobic enough as it was. We accidentally made eye contact and just when I was about to dart my eyes away, I noticed something. She looked just as much of a mess as I did. She was a few years older than me, but her face held something similar to mine. It was the same misery—the same sadness resided in her eyes.
We both shared a depressing smile, and a thought crossed my mind.
Airports really are the saddest place in the world.And for some reason it made me feel less alone. I wasn’t the only person in the world leaving something behind.
It was enough for me to give her my name.
Chapter One
