Page 67 of Hateful
“Well—I’m going back to my dorm,” I say hoarsely, after a second. If no one did see that I’m a girl, then all there is to hide from is my own embarrassment. I can handle that, I suppose.
At least it means I won’t be expelled.
It looks like it’s a struggle for her to tear her eyes away from the folder she holds.
“Are you sure you’ll be all right?” she asks, but I can tell it’s not a sincere question. Her eyes are slightly unfocused. Her mind is already buried in that folder, delving into Bleakwood’s secrets.
“I’m fine,” I assure her. My words are empty. She accepts them anyway.
I nod, turn on my heel, and walk away. The bleachers are truly empty now. No one sees me make the long, lonely walk back to my smoking spot. I pause there and pull out a cigarette—I’m here, so I might as well.
It’s not until I’m leaning against the wall and taking my third or fourth drag that I finally start to feel guilty.
Really guilty.
What have I done?
Chapter Twenty-Two
In my haste toprotect myself, I might have just left myself more exposed than ever.
Something thumps into me, jolting me awake. I groan and roll over to see my running shoes, cleaner than they’ve ever been, tumbling off me and onto the floor. Rafael stands by the door to the dorm with his arm out as if he’s just flung them—which he probably did, judging by how hard they hit me.
“What?” I mumble, sitting up and picking one up off the ground. I turn it this way and that, examining it. “How?”
“They were sitting outside,” Rafael replies. “It’s past noon, by the way. I brought you some lunch.” He holds up a white paper bag and a bottle of water. “It’s just a sandwich.”
“Thanks.” I rub my eyes as he approaches and sets the bag on my nightstand. It takes a few minutes for everything that happened yesterday to settle in.
When it finally floods back in, I can’t stifle a second, louder groan and cover my face with my hands. I’d come back here right after meeting with Headmistress Robin. I still haven’t been able to face any possible repercussions of Beck’s prank on me, but I know it can’t wait forever.
I pry two fingers apart and peek at Rafael between them.
“So tell me the truth,” I say, “does everyone know I’m a girl?”
Rafael shakes his head, but he can’t hide the smile pulling at the corner of his mouth. “No. You’re a laughingstock, but you’re amalelaughingstock, as far as they know. Everyone’s tittering about your tighty-whities.”
Heat rises to my cheeks. “I can’t exactly wear panties.”
“No, but youcouldwear boxer-briefs.” Rafael plops himself down on his bed.
I find I’m suddenly able to sit up.Everything isn’t lost after all.
“They feel weird.”
I have to take a deep breath, my eyes scanning the walls and windows for a second as the reality settles back in. I might have acted a little rashly last night.
Nothing has actually changed.
No thanks to Beck.
Rafael grunts as he sits cross-legged on his bed, facing me, his hands in his lap. “Eat,” he says, inclining his head to the bag on my nightstand.
“I’m not hungry.”
“You’ve been asleep for twenty hours.”
Startled, I snap my head to look at him. “What?”
