Page 73 of Always Beth
‘There is not and will not be anyone else, Beth, because if I can’t have you then—’
‘James!’
Lauren appears from behind the hedgerow, and I’m taken aback at the difference only a few days has made, there’s almost a frailty to her that she’s never had before.
‘Sorry to interrupt. Grace is leaving now, did you want to say goodbye?’
‘Yeah sure.’ He bites his lip, clearly as frustrated as I am that he was unable to finish his sentence.
Lauren takes his arm and guides him back towards the cottage. ‘Oh, Beth, thanks for the crumble,’ she calls as they disappear behind the hedge. I stand transfixed to the spot for a few seconds, in a mixed state of elation and disappointment. My phone vibrates in my pocket, and I scan the email subject as I turn and wander along the path.
Good morning, Beth.
Hope you are well.
The financial settlement meeting is set for Friday this week. Please let me know if this is convenient and I’ll respond to your husband’s barrister with confirmation.
Kind regards,
Caroline
Shit. They work fast. I want it over with, but I just didn’t see it coming this quickly. By this Friday I can start thinking about moving on, from Stephen at least. The mountain that is James, I just don’t know how I’m going to get over.
James
‘Is there any of that crumble left?’ Lauren calls from her bed.
Shit.She’s hardly eaten in days and when she finally asks for something that I haven’t begged her to eat, it turns out I’ve already eaten it.
‘Errr…’
As my voice echoes up the staircase, I can almost read the disappointment on her face.
‘She may have you wallowing in self-pity but at least she’s fattening you up.’ My eyes widen as I glance down, clutching at my stomach.I’m not getting fat and I’m definitely not—
‘I’m not wallowing,’ I bellow back to her.
Her laugh travels through the cottage and I smile, no matter how bad she’s feeling or how weak she’s getting, she’ll never miss an opportunity to get one over on me. She knows me better than I know myself, understands me in ways I never could. No one knows how to push my buttons quite like she does. I think that’s what I might miss the most. I search the kitchen cupboards frantically for anything that might come close to satisfying her sweet cravings. I find custard creams, a pack I bought just in case Beth came over. Not that she’s been here since the Grace fiasco. Caroline told me that the divorce settlement is this week and even though I swore I wouldn’t get involved, I’ve broken that rule once already. I want to be there to support her, but I can’t leave Lauren and even if I could, it will only confuse things even further. The more we see each other the harder it gets to walk away each time.
‘I’ve got these biscuits if you’re interested.’ Waving the packet from the doorway, she beckons me into the room and I perch on the bottom of the bed.
‘I can’t reach them from there, can I?’ she moans.
I shuffle towards her and she swipes the packet from my hands, the most movement I’ve seen from her in days.
‘Lauren, are you sure this is right? We should call your consultant, it’s never been this bad after a chemo round before.’
She shrugs as she nibbles the corner of a custard cream. Her appetite is non-existent. That would have gone in whole just a few weeks back.
‘What are you going to do about Beth’s settlement tomorrow?’
Talk about changing the subject. Everything has been a diversion from her health the past few weeks.
‘I said I’d stay out of it and I can’t leave you when you’re like this. You would have got those biscuits yourself usually.’
Reaching to the side, she picks up her phone and taps away at the screen. I hear a message sending and only seconds later, a reply.
‘It’s sorted.’ She sighs.
