Page 85 of Always Beth
‘When did he tell her that?’ I ask.
‘I don’t think he did, but you know Lauren and James, they knew each other better than anyone. If she said he’s in love with you. He’s in love with you.’
‘I think I’ll wait for him to tell me himself.’ I toss the dish cloth on the side, reach for a glass and pour.Screw it, now I need wine.
‘You’ll be waiting a long time.’ He chuckles as he takes another mouthful.
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘He can’t talk about his feelings. Not after Grace.’
‘His girlfriend who cheated with you?’
He runs his tongue along his teeth and laughs softly to himself. ‘You know James and I have never been close and when he broke up with Grace, I was there for her because he had Lauren. Lauren chose him. They always chose each other. I didn’t mean to fall for Grace. We never cheated. Not that anyone cared. I ended it with her; I didn’t want to lose my brother, what little relationship we had, I didn’t want to lose it, but it didn’t matter, they’d made up their mind. It was always Lauren and James growing up. It’s hard to be the third sibling, I may as well have been an only child.’
As an only child myself, I feel for him, in some way I can relate. ‘At least you reconciled with Lauren.’
He nods solemnly and pinches his nose, his face turning red. ‘I lost so much time, Beth.’ As his voice breaks, I understand he’s no different to James. A brother who has lost his sister. I step towards him and take him into my arms, and he cries heavily into my shoulder. I don’t know how long we’ve been locked in our embrace before my eyes meet James’ in the kitchen doorway. My heart skips a beat as I step back, hastily putting distance between us.
‘Don’t stop on my account.’ James charges into the kitchen, depositing paper plates and cups into the bin.
‘Oh, get a grip, nothing was going on,’ Jacob hisses, wiping at his eyes.
‘No, I was just comforting him,’ I plead.
‘That’s how it starts, isn’t it, Jake? After all, you would know,’ James spits.
They stand, glaring at one another, and I don’t know what to do or say to defuse this.
Raising his hand, Jacob reaches out and pushes James forcefully in the chest. ‘This is our sister’s funeral. I can’t believe today of all days you’re doing this, you selfish prick.’
As the harsh reality of his words hit James, he grabs the lapels of Jacob’s suit and pulls him towards him. ‘My twin, your sister. You will never get it.’
Jacob forces him away, causing James to stumble back against the kitchen table. ‘No, you’re right, I’ll never know, no one will ever know the unbreakable bond of Lauren and James Taylor. I never got it and neither did Grace, so what did you expect when you ended it with her, huh? Because let’s be honest, that’s what this is really about, isn’t it? About Grace?’
James’ chest heaves as he struggles to contain his anger, and I slowly edge towards him and wrap my arm around his and feel his body begin to calm.
‘She had no one, like I had no one. We never cheated; it happened after you broke it off. I wouldn’t have done that, you’re my brother, I idolised you, I loved you, I just wanted the relationship that you and Lauren had.’
‘Jacob, this isn’t the time to—’
‘Let him speak, Beth,’ James mutters.
‘I didn’t mean to hurt you, James, but I fell for her so badly, we connected in a way I never expected.’
‘Why did you end it with her then?’ James forces out.
‘For you…for all the good it did me.’
James tenses under my touch and I follow his gaze to the doorway where I see her heart break. Watching our faces fall, Jacob turns on the spot and slouches in defeat.
‘Grace—’
‘No, Jake, it’s fine. I don’t want any trouble, not today, it’s Lauren’s day. In fact, I’m going to leave. I’ve paid my respects and it’s clear me being here isn’t helping. It was a beautiful service.’ Her eyes glisten as she steps back and disappears into the hall.
We remain in silence for what seems like forever, and I silently pray that they’re going to draw a truce.
‘Go after her.’ James sighs.
