Page 84 of Always Beth
‘Are you sure about this?’ she asks nervously.
‘Never been surer.’
With my hand locked in the waves of her hair and my body pressed against the warmth of hers, I guide her back until we find ourselves crashing to the mattress below. We move against each other with a desperation that’s a result of weeks apart and it’s clear the passion of our weekend in London has been replaced by something more.
‘I need you…’ She arches her chest into me and as I kiss slowly down her body, she releases the sweetest sounds from her lips. Every part of me aches as I try to pace us, to make the wait worth it, but the tension and longing from weeks away from her body makes every last ounce of my resolve crumble.
‘I need you too, more than ever.’ I pause as her eyes draw me in, reminding me I’m not alone. Our hips move against one another and as I feel her against my bare skin the sensation is greater than anything I could have imagined. I hesitate as the moment overwhelms me, then her delicate fingers slide gently around my cock as she guides me towards her, and despite the numerous times I’ve been inside her, nothing is going to be as intimate as this.
‘Are you sure?’ I exhale heavily against her as the tip of my cock slips finally into place. She clasps her hands either side of my head. My eyes are pinned on her, awaiting her answer.
‘Yes.’
I groan as I lose myself inside her in one strong thrust. The gasp she releases sends a ripple effect across body and almost pushes me to lose control. I need her and I need this and I’m not ready for it to be over. Squeezing my eyes shut, I bury my head into the crook of her neck and slip my hands underneath her thighs, lifting them towards her body. I didn’t think it was possible to be deeper than I currently am and the sudden silence from Beth makes me wonder if tonight I’m a little too much. She turns her head to face mine and I slowly peel open my eyes as her pupils burn into me.
‘Give me everything, James, I want it all.’
I smile, closing my eyes once more, and without uttering a single word, I comply. The sound of our bodies meeting again and again fills her bedroom and the erratic pace of her breathing coupled with the tight grip she has on my arms spurs me on repeatedly. We seamlessly move from one position to another, and I’ve never felt so in tune with someone as I do in this moment. I feel like I’ve been inside her for hours but the reality is far from it, although I know that given the chance I would spend an eternity with her like this. She tenses around me in the way I’m already familiar with and I slow my thrusts to prolong her pleasure for long as possible.
‘Please don’t stop, please,’ she cries out, gripping my arms with an uncontrollable force. I’m so close behind her that stopping isn’t even an option and as soon as I open my eyes and see her body illuminated beneath me, it will all be over. As her moans soften, I brace myself for the rush I’m about to experience, that I’ve been waiting weeks for. Finally, opening my eyes, there she is, the woman who’s been there for me and accepted everything without question. She’s perfect. The weeks of waiting, suffering, longing all crash into one and my mind clouds as my body comes in a rush. She smiles softly, cupping my cheek with her hand, and we breathe against one another. Slipping back to our respective sides of the bed, our fingers interlock and at some point in the blissful haziness we fall asleep.
ChapterTwenty-Two
Beth
I’ve been lucky not to attend many funerals in my lifetime, but seeing this, being a part of this reminds me it could happen to any of us at any time. The service was heartbreaking and things were strained between James and Jacob to the point that I wonder if their relationship will ever truly be repaired. As I look around the room, everyone is so young, it’s a stark reminder that Lauren went way before her time. James has been making small talk with her friends and I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this lost. My pulse quickens as images from last night race through my mind. I asked him to give me everything he had, and he did, I felt it all from the depths of his desire to the edge of his grief. As he slipped away quietly this morning, I let him go without a word, unable to find the right thing to say on this day of all days.
For the third time this hour I circulate offering more drinks, because the moment I stop I know someone will ask me how I know James and I just don’t know what to say.Tenant, friend, lover?
In the kitchen I roughly dry glass after glass, transfixed on getting through the next hour until the guests start to leave. Having to watch James navigate life without her is bad enough but having to watch Dick circle the house over and over looking for her is a heartbreak I don’t think I was ready for.
‘You’ve been keeping yourself busy.’
Turning, I press myself back against the work surface.
Hell, this is a position I didn’t want to find myself in.
‘Beth, isn’t it?’ Jacob asks.
‘That’s me.’
This is not the brother I want to be alone with right now.
‘You don’t have to be nervous around me, I don’t bite.’ Stepping towards me, his proximity is unnerving. He leans forward, reaches around me and picks up a bottle of wine.
‘Drink, Beth?’
‘Oh no, I’m keeping a clear head.’ I tap my brow as if he needs clarification.
The wine glugs as he pours it hastily into a glass. ‘So, you and my brother?’
I still as he takes a large mouthful.
‘What’s he said?’
‘Oh, he’s said nothing, my sister told me he’s in love with you.’
Colour floods my cheeks. Love? This is the first I’ve heard about it and now I’m hearing it from Jacob. This is not the way I wanted to find out. Feeling it and knowing it are two completely different things. Last night when he held me in his arms, when he was deep inside me, I felt it between us, at that precise moment, there was intense, indescribable love between us. As he clung to me in the aftermath, his inability to let me go made me think we were invincible. All I needed was his words to cement what I felt, but they never came, and he’s so deeply broken that to ask it of him is more than I can bring myself to do.
