Page 7 of Malice and Surrender
Please, dear God, don’t let him look for me. Please let him have forgotten all about me.
PRESENT DAY
Raine
My fist hit the heavy bag over and over until my arms wouldn’t lift, and I was breathing so hard that I had to step away to catch my breath.
“Not bad. Your stamina is definitely improving,” Carlos said, grabbing his water bottle and handing me mine.
“Thanks, it feels better,” I said, drinking a few large gulps of the cool liquid. After I’d learned that Kai was free and could appear at any time, I was ready to make a run for it. The question became, where the hell would I run?
I had no friends aside from Avro, and family wasn’t something I’d ever had, so technically, I could run anywhere that seemed appealing. I could have closed my eyes and placed my finger on a map and just left, but this was my home. It may not be great, and I’d certainly had a ton of shit go down here, but it was also the only place I knew. So after crying my eyes out and hiding in my closet all night, I decided to train and learn to defend myself—a decision I should’ve made years earlier.
All through foster care, I’d been pushed around, picked on, beaten up, and the ultimate low was being assaulted and left for dead. Living the way I had been, with constant fear hanging over my head, perpetuated the feeling that I was a victim and could be again. Was it still possible? Sure, but now I had skills I could use, and more than that, somewhere in the process of learning to fight, I found the backbone I never knew I had.
I couldn’t decide on which discipline I liked until I tried MMA. It was the freedom to use so many techniques that I preferred. My first fight was last week, and even though it was entry division, I walked out of there with a win. It was a shot of courage in my arm.
“Do you have any more fights coming up that I could enter?” I asked and grabbed the towel that Carlos tossed my way.
“Maybe. I’ll take a look around and see if there is anyone in flyweight over the next couple of months. I’m sure we can find something for you to enter,” Carlos said. “You good to train on Sunday morning?”
“No, I better not. Saturday night is our biggest night at Eclipse, and we’re expecting a VIP that will make the place extra busy. Probably won’t get home until like eight or nine in the morning.”
“Damn, okay. Wanna let me in on who the VIP is?” He smiled, but I’d been sworn to secrecy. The agent of Grimhead Crew had made it clear that he wanted the appearance of his client and the impromptu concert to be a complete secret until they arrived.
“All I can say is that you will want to stop by and make sure to do it early, or you won’t get in at all,” I smiled wide.
“Damn, that big, huh? I’m in. It’s my girl’s birthday, and I promised that I had something special planned. My bad that I didn’t get something figured out sooner, and this will make me look like an awesome boyfriend.” Carlos laughed.
“Your girlfriend won’t hear it from me. Just remember to arrive early and get close to the large bar area, and I’ll be sure to hook you up with a couple of free drinks,” I said, pulling the hoodie over my head.
I needed to get home and get ready for work. Apparently, there was a lot to prepare for when a celebrity came. I’d been given a massive list of musts and only two more days to get it done.
It would be easier if I just showered here, but stripping down naked in strange places was still on my ‘No’ list. I’d managed to start showering after my shift when it was just Avro around. He never made me feel uncomfortable or did something like test the door. I don’t know why he would, but of all people, he was the one I secretly wished had tried. Some fantasies were just too big.
The juice bar had my green sludge ready for me and waiting on the counter. Smiling, I took a sip and held up the drink that, in reality, made me want to vomit.
“Why do I drink this?” I mumbled as I wandered down the street.
I couldn’t believe it was already Halloween. It wouldn’t be long until Christmas was here and then New Years, and just like that, another year would be gone. Another year older, not sure about wiser, but it felt like I was racing against a clock I couldn’t see. A group of kids excitedly screamed as they ran past in their costumes, their parents trailing behind. A real smile graced my lips as I watched the little angel and the pirate run, holding hands. This time of year always made me think of Kai. Halloween was his thing, and I’d fallen in love with the day just as much because of his enthusiasm.
I hated how everything still made me think of him, wonder about him, and worry about him finding me. It didn’t matter that over a year had passed since his release, and he hadn’t magically appeared on my doorstep. The nagging concern was always there. The worst part was that I missed him. I hated him, and I missed him. How did those two things work?
“Come on, put it on. I spent all my savings to get these costumes for us,” Kai said, his smile wide like a child.
“You do realize that we are too old for trick-or-treating?” I asked, holding up the Cat Woman costume. I hated to admit that it looked cool. Cool and I were not exactly on speaking terms. I was more punk/grunge mixed with total geek and a dash of loser, which was not a sexy combination.
“I’m not saying we go and collect candy, but I know of a couple of parties we can crash. Or if you don’t want to do that, the beach will be wild, and before you say it, I know we can’t buy any drinks.” He held up a pirate’s hat and snarled at me. “Argh, matey.”
Bursting out laughing at the ridiculous look, I nodded my head. “Okay, fine, you win, but only if you promise never to do that again.”
“Aw, come on, I need to be able to do it for at least the rest of the night. I mean, I have to remain in character.” I lifted a brow at him and crossed my arms over my chest as I held firm. If I didn’t, that was all I would hear all night long, and he would do it twice as much just to annoy me. “All right, fine, I promise.”
An hour later, I felt like everyone we passed on the street to get to the beach was staring at me. “Why did you have to get the boots so tall? I can barely walk in these,” I complained as I tried to walk in the teetering heels that added four inches to my five-foot-four height.
“Stop complaining. You look amazing, and all the guys are staring.” Kai smiled like this was a good thing. I didn’t like people staring. In fact, I did everything I could to avoid the very reaction that made Kai puff out his chest.
“I don’t like all the guys staring,” I whispered and inched closer to Kai as a couple of guys walking toward us openly gawked at my outfit.
