Page 8 of Malice and Surrender
“Ignore them. You’re here with me.”
I knew he didn’t mean it like a date, but my heart sped faster in my chest, and I bit my lip as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders and gave it a quick reassuring squeeze before taking his arm back. I didn’t want him to. I wanted him to continue to walk like I was his girl and not just his pal or the annoying foster sister.
Just like he said, the beach was crazy with people of all ages. You could easily tell the college groups from everyone else. They were far sexier and a whole lot wilder. A guy ran by and almost knocked me over as he chased a football.
“Hey, watch where you’re going,” Kai called out, his face dark as he glared at the guy. Kai stepped in close with his back to me, and I could smell the cologne he wore. Unable to help myself, I sucked in a deep breath and sighed. He was always so tough and abrasive, like he needed to take on the world, and yet under the hard shell was this sweet guy. I never told him that. He would probably have a heart attack if anyone thought he was sweet.
“Sorry about that,” the guy said. I stepped out from behind Kai, and instantly the new guy’s eyes roamed over the skin-tight leather. “Damn, do you want to party with us?”
I shook my head no as Kai suddenly grabbed my hand. “Not a fucking chance. She’s with me.”
The guy licked his lips and then lifted his muscled shoulders in a shrug. “Suit yourself. It’s your loss.” He jogged off and tossed the ball to the group of guys waiting.
It felt strange to have Kai touch me like this. That was twice very close together. We’d been staying with the same foster family for five years now, and other than a handshake when I first arrived or the fist bumps that were mandatory after a particularly good round of Call of Duty, we never touched. I looked down at our joined hands and could admit it felt nice. I had no idea how to make him see me as more, but every time he touched me like this, a jolt of excitement shot through my body.
Kai was a couple of years older, and next year, he would head off to college, and I’d be left behind. It didn’t sit right. I detested the idea of him leaving for whatever college he chose. He’d already started to take off most weekends to go see the campuses. Kai was smart, much smarter than my C+ grades, but he never applied himself. He was too busy playing games and talking about how much ass he was going to get while away at school with his friends.
His new thing was street fights. I didn’t like them. They were dangerous, and he always came home late with a split lip or a black eye. I’d even seen a large purple bruise that wrapped his side when he was pulling on a shirt, but he didn’t want to talk about it. I was too young, or as he put it, he wanted to protect me, but I didn’t need his protection. What I wanted, he had no interest in.
I’d gone out on a movie date, and as soon as Kai found out, he miraculously showed up at the theater with his friends and a couple of girls. I was furious. Not only was he there to keep an eye on me like an annoying brother, but all the jealousy I ignored when I saw him with girls reared its ugly head. The entire situation was a disaster, and I apologized to my date and said I wasn’t feeling well, then took off for home, fuming the whole way.
We’d always promised to be each other’s best friend, but it felt like it should be so much more. Yet, he was at home less, talked less, and it felt like he was already gone and pulling away. I was fifteen, and he was seventeen, and I knew that the closer he got to his eighteenth birthday, the more I looked like the dopey foster sister hanging onto his shirt and begging for his attention.
At least, that was how it felt. As soon as the guys moved far enough away, Kai let go of my hand, and the little pitter-patter in my chest crashed and burned.
“Fuck, guys like him are annoying. I should’ve laid his ass out,” Kai said.
“Right. You and who exactly? That guy was huge,” I said, and Kai turned his head to look at me.
“I’m ripped,” he argued, his dark brows furrowed, making his blue eyes more intense.
“Uh-huh,” I said and walked toward the quieter area of the beach.
I left him to either follow or not, but I needed to sit down before these tall boots were the death of me. There were still beach chairs left out from earlier in the day that had been missed during clean up. I dropped down on the chair that doubled as a lounger, groaning, and kicked my feet up.
“What does uh-huh mean?” Kai parked himself in the chair beside mine.
I rolled my head in his direction. “It means that you might be, but he’s still a college guy with a bunch of friends, and you’re…well, you’re just you.”
“I’m hot,” Kai argued and then turned himself so he was sitting like I was.
“I’m just sayin’, you’re seventeen, and that dude was like twenty-five.” I had no idea why he was angry, but I could feel the tension rolling off him. The breeze off the water felt nice as it hit my face.
“Yeah, and the guy is also a perv. He was going to take you to his friends and want to do all sorts of things that you’re just not ready for,” Kai argued.
That bristled my anger. “Oh, really? And who says I’m not ready? Maybe I want to be ready. Maybe I wanted to be ready with him, and if so, that is my business,” I bit out. Who the hell did he think he was? Telling me I wasn’t ready for sex. He didn’t get a say in the matter. No one but me did.
“Fine, whatever. You want to be a college guy’s slut. Who am I to tell you differently? Just remember that they can be charged with rape. You’re still a minor.” The way he said minor hurt. It was like he was purposely picking at the fact that we were growing further apart every day.
We were silent for a long time, the strange tension between us just sitting there. I didn’t know what to say and didn’t want to argue with Kai. He was my only friend.
“I wouldn’t, you know,” I finally said.
“What?” Kai turned his head to look at me, and I felt him staring at the side of my face. I couldn’t look at him, the earlier nervousness was back, and my stomach felt all weird.
“I said I wouldn’t. I mean, sleep with that guy. I wouldn’t fuck that guy. There, I said it.” I scowled at the ocean like it was the water’s fault for making me feel this way.
“Good. I didn’t want to have to kill him,” he said.
