Page 100 of The Spare
“But she doesn’t believe it.” I confessed. The knife lodged in my chest twisted. She thought it was all a plot or scheme to make the truth more palatable. It wasn’t. I wanted her to see it was different with me. I couldn’t change what was already in motion. But from then on, her needs were the most important.
“Well, you did lie to her for months.”
“I know where I fucked up,” I snapped.
I was terrified to lose her. So terrified, I made an amateur miscalculation. If I’d been thinking clearly, I would’ve played the odds and told her. Odds were that she’d be angry, but she’d understand—she didn’t want to be CEO. But with Sloan, even a chance that the odds wouldn’t be in my favor was too much to risk.
“Good.” He walked over to me, slapped a supportive hand on my shoulder, and yawned. “You two will figure it out.”
I nodded, and Xander left for the night.
CHAPTER50
Sloan
Ileft immediately after the will was read. I avoided my mother’s flurry of questions when she noticed I was avoiding the Sutton brothers. Needing to seek refuge and figure my shit out, I went to work.
Not that it helped. I spent the morning looking at the same names over and over again. Marcus knew better than anyone how to approach the board situation. The sensible thing to do would be to see him and figure it all out. The only benefit to coming in to work while I was on bereavement leave was getting a straight conversation out of Reese about my promotion to senior partner.
The London offer was legit. It was everything I thought I wanted. And I wouldn’t need to wait. My promotion to senior partner still hadn’t been officially announced, so I considered it.
Now that I was finally home, I couldn’t figure out how I could make it work. Or, if I wanted to try to make it work. And then there was Marcus.
“I was half expecting bangs.” Xander’s voice yanked me out of the engulfing hurt. The weight of the sadness immediately lifted at the sight of his comforting green eyes and that charming smile.
“Laney took my scissors.” I tapped my pen against my desk and flicked my gaze to my assistant’s desk. It was too soon to be considering trauma bangs.
“I must have missed your call.” He rolled his eyes. Hurt was scribbled all over his face.
I winced. We told each other everything, or we used to. “Xan...”
My shoulders fell in a deep sigh. He crossed the office and hugged me. Based on the level of camaraderie this morning, I gathered that Marcus and Henry had worked things out and Xander knew what had happened.
I stood so I could lean into him and he wouldn’t see the lone tear that streaked down my face. I had missed my best friend. “I swear,” he said, “if you’ve been crying to Penelope, I will—”
“She doesn’t get back till next week.” I hiccupped a laugh. A few silent seconds passed. “Did you know?”
He was here and relatively calm. That meant he wasn’t surprised. Whenever someone hurt me, Xander became a different version of himself. A glimpse of it came out in London, but instead of playing the protector, he was mediating. If I didn’t already believe Xander was onboard with the relationship, that was proof.
Xander held my shoulders and pushed me back to look me squarely in the eye. “Yes. It wasn’t my secret to tell. I’m sorry.”
I nodded. He was already in the middle, and now even more so. Oddly, knowing that Xander already knew made it feel less painful.
“Why not go and talk to him?” he asked.
“He lied to me.” It sounded almost benign when I said it out loud.
Marcus knew everything about me. I had spent the last six months opening up to him more than anyone I’d ever dated, and he had held onto something monumental the entire time. He knew how I felt about the company, and he still kept it a secret. I didn’t care that Henry would take over. I cared that he was so comfortable keeping me in the dark.
That was the crux of it. I trusted him with everything, and he still kept me at arm’s length. There were moments when I felt like I was being let in, but others when I felt like I was on the outside looking in.
“And then you walked out instead of talking through it.”
“Whose side are you on?” I asked. It was meant to be light, but Xander’s expression grew serious.
“Grow up, Sloan. I’m on the side of what’s best for you. I’m not always going to agree with you to make you feel better. Sometimes,youneed to be pushed in the right direction.” He didn’t wait for me to object. “He fucked up, big. But you’re in an adult relationship. You can’t just walk out whenever you’re angry.”
“I know.” I knew walking out would hurt him, that’s why I did it. When I felt cornered or hurt, I lashed out and went straight for the jugular.
