Page 101 of The Spare
That's when I realized how much he’d opened to me. I couldn’t hurt him so deeply without knowing him as well as I did now. I always attributed his unrelenting commitment to his career and company to self-importance. It wasn’t that at all. He wanted to be needed because you couldn’t be abandoned when you were useful.
“You two are exhausting,” Xander groaned. “Do you want this to work?”
“Yes.”
“Then you two need to fix this before you can’t.”
“It was just a fight.” The angry fog from the argument lifted last night. I knew what I wanted, and it was always him. “Right?”
“It better be.” His almost lighthearted laugh eased my nerves. “If not, we’re in the origin story of Marcus’s supervillain era.”
“Xan.” I sighed, more deeply this time. I didn’t want to face it all today.
“Let’s go.” He took a step back and gestured to the door, knowing what I was going to ask. I wanted to sit on the couch, cry a little, and drink some wine. I needed my best friend for that.
* * *
“I talked to Reese today. He didn’t know about Van Der Baun’s offer.” I leaned against the countertop in Xander’s kitchen.
Luckily, after Van der Baun’s initial offer, I was able to sit down with Jay Sachi and work in some terms in the Burton Merger. Those terms included my ongoing counsel...in the New York office. Jay was easy to convince. Even though there wasn’t anything in it for him, he’d remain in London and have very little contact with the firm moving forward.
That little addition meant the firm would lose one of its biggest clients if they didn’t make good on the promises made to me at the outset. Nobody double-crossed an Amari.
“Are they fighting over you now?” Xander grinned and pulled out a bottle of wine. “If so, I would like a dedicated office space in the negotiations. I don’t like Penelope being around you so damn much these days.”
“It’s hardly a fight. Reese is drawing up the paperwork. I’ll be partner here in the New York office, as planned.” I took the glass he poured for me and walked over to couch. I was beginning to question if I wanted what I’d been chasing for so long. The vicious need to be perfect bled into every aspect of my life and often kept me from happiness. “And this best friend competition you have going on, Pen isn’t even playing.”
“So, I’m playing with myself?”
I laughed and glanced over my shoulder. “Happens to the best of us, Xan.”
It had been months since we’d had a movie night, and since I wasn’t in the mood to face my problems just yet, Xander caved and agreed to watching a couple of murder mysteries. I sat down on the couch and reached into my bag for my phone when I saw something.
It was the brown leather-bound journal I got for Marcus years ago.
In my anger, I must have grabbed it with my things. I put my glass down on the coffee table and opened the front cover. It was empty except for a few random notes in the first few pages. Curiosity got the best of me, and I flipped through the blank pages until I noticed the lip in the back cover. A picture fell out and onto the floor.
I leaned down and picked it up. It was the picture of the four of us at my law school graduation. On the back of the photo was my handwriting:
Don’t lose this
Emotion swelled in my chest.
Every so often, something likethatwould happen. A small reminder that I’d never left his heart all this time. I gave copies of the photo to Henry, Xander, and Marcus. Each had a different note from me; that one was his.
It went with him everywhere. He kept it like a vow. To me.
I could faintly hear the sound of Xander’s voice. “You sure you don’t want to talk to him?”
I nodded. “I’ll call him tomorrow.”
He rolled his eyes. “Call him now.”
“Xan, please.” I begged. Something about reconciling scared me. He owned every part of my heart; I wouldn’t be able to pick up the pieces if he ever broke it.
“Fine,” he groaned. “But I’m telling him you’re here.”
I gave him a hard look.
