Page 84 of The Spare
“I will.”
“Although, it provides a good cover for you to scare him off for good.”
I grinned. A skill I spent years perfecting.
CHAPTER42
Marcus
Isent my assistant to find me a kurta for the event. Not knowing what to get, she asked Xander. All I needed was to look at least half as good as I knew Sloan would, especially since Jay would be there attempting to check her off his conquest list.
I quickly forgot the anger when I thought about how good Sloan looked in the dresses. Taking Sloan to celebrate Holi got me thinking back to all those Diwali parties her family threw. The memories of the blouse, almost always stopping right above her mid back, sent a molten heat through me. The way the skirt would sit at her hips, drawing my eyes to her stomach, alluringly toned thanks to the Pilates she did religiously.
As if the lewd thoughts summoned her, Sloan walked down the hallway and smiled. My mind went blank at the sight of her in a tight, beaded silver bodice that ended just below where her bra would have. A colorful yellow skirt fell from just below her navel.
“Fuck,” I whispered to myself.
I was so entranced I hadn’t noticed the look on her face. “I forgot how good you looked in these.” She drew near, ran her hands up my chest, and clasped them together around my neck. Looking up to me, she let out a small wistful sigh.
Excitement flickered in her eyes, as it always did when I tried to tempt her. Apparently just wearing a kurta worked. I tucked that piece of information away for later.
I dropped my lips to her ear, suddenly no longer in the mood to do anything but remove the outfit I was just admiring. “How hard is this to put back on?” My hands ran down her bare sides and rested on her hips.
She giggled softly. “Too hard.”She pulled back, but my hands stayed put. I remained hopeful I could persuade her to be a little late. “But I will need help taking it off later.”
She gathered a few things and threw them into a small purse. Sloan was uncharacteristically quiet. She twisted her index finger into the colorful fabric of her skirt. Her face was calm and stoic, but her brown eyes illuminated with thought.
“Hey.” I walked over and pulled her back into my arms. “You okay?”
She didn’t move, but she nodded. “Maybe we shouldn’t go.”
This was one of her favorite holidays. I had spent the last few days looking through pictures I asked Xander to send me of past events they’d attended. She was beaming in all of them and had been excited about this all week. What changed?
We stood in silence for a few moments. I couldn’t fend off the gnawing feeling that I was the difference.
She looked at the floor and sighed heavily. “It's like, if I show up with you, I’m a cliché. But if I show up with someone like Jay, I’m the mixed girl who’s trying too hard.”
I tried not to take that personally and rein in whatever mix of frustration and pain came rushing through me.
I was the reason. She didn’t want to go because of me?
“No! That’s not what I meant.” Sloan read the concern on my face. She put her hands on either side of my face and kissed me in apology. “It’s nothing to do with you. I just mean, I don’t know if I want the judgment.”
“Judgment?” I never realized just how much things like that weighed on her.
“It’s always so draining. Trying to convince everyone I belong there too.”
I wondered if it was their judgment of her or her own of herself that was the concern. I knew better than to offer my less-than-experienced insights, and let her continue.
“My name isn’t Sloan.” She twisted the fabric of her skirt more intensely.
Living under an alias was not the direction I thought this conversation would take. I had so many questions, but she needed to get it off her chest first. I took her hands in mine and leaned down to kiss her forehead.
“I mean it is Sloan,” she clarified, “but it wasn’t always. I was born Saanvi Sloan Amari.” She looked down shamefully, her shoulders slumped. “I begged my parents to change it when I was ten because I didn’t like how weird it sounded. I refused to go to school for a while. There weren’t exactly a lot of mixed kids at the time. I would hide from the nanny before drop-off. It got so bad that my dad would take me himself and walk me in. Even then, I would sneak out. After a few weeks, they bent, and we made Saanvi my middle name.”
The idea of a ten-year-old Sloan evading every adult in her life made me smile.
Defiance personified.
