Page 44 of Good Girls Like it Dirty
Chapter Fourteen
“Well, what is it?” Monique asked, pleased at how calm she sounded.
From the moment she’d seen Ashley talk with Zaine from a distance, her stomach had tightened. Of course they worked together, but something about that picture knotted her insides in a way that defied description.
Zaine had insisted on talking in a private place, and they walked together for a few minutes until they stepped out of the ballroom and found an unlocked room. He opened the door, and as she walked in, she caught a whiff of bleach. Various cleaning supplies crowded the small area, complete with a couple of stocked carts.
He closed the door, then jammed a hand in his pocket. “Ashley just told me she’s pregnant.”
Monique’s blood turned into frozen custard. Dizziness claimed her and she wobbled, as if she’d just lost her footing. She clamped her lips together, looking at him.
Pain flickered in his eyes and his expression hardened. Was he going to break up with her? Of course he was. Zaine took responsibilities seriously—he’d done it at an early age, stepping in for his late father and being the backbone of his family. And now he wouldn’t leave his own child alone. Nor did she want him to.
Still, a sadness enveloped her, squeezing, suffocating her until tears blurred her field of vision. Don’t cry. Don’t cry.
“Congratulations,” she said, wiping the tears from her cheeks without any finesse. Not giving a shit about her makeup.
He frowned. “I had no idea. She just told me and showed me an ultrasound picture.”
That’d be her second question. Was it true? She blinked back new tears from forming. Her fingers trembled and she planted them on her waist. Ashley wouldn’t make up a story without having evidence to fall back on. “How far along is she? Did you two…” Her voice trailed off, and she didn’t bring herself to ask him if he’d screwed both of them at the same time. She’s the wife and I’m the other woman. She was the one looking in from the outside, whether she liked it or not.
“No,” he said quickly, and stepped forward. “The last time I touched her was a few months ago. She said she waited to tell me because she wasn’t sure about what she’d do.”
Of course. Ashley seemed to always calculate her next move.
Monique stepped back, lifting her hand to keep him from invading her space. She needed to think, and this time be rational. “Does she want to get back together?”
“Yes.” He shook his head. “But I don’t. I want you.”
“And how will this work, Zaine? I give up my dream of working in Africa while you both raise a baby?” she said, remembering how a strange sensation had lurked when she’d seen Zaine and Ashley talk earlier. Nausea filled her stomach, and she caressed her neck to keep the bile from floating up her throat. She’d traveled thousands of miles from her home country and in the end she became the outsider. Again…just like when her father had left her mother.
He thrust his fingers into his hair and shook his head violently. “We’ll work out a way. I didn’t want to say this under these circumstances, but I love you, Monique. I feel for you what I have never felt for anyone.”
Love isn’t enough. Her mother had loved her father, and ended up broke and alone. She had loved him so much, she didn’t see him for who he really was. “I got a really good grade on my English test. I’ll be going home sooner than expected,” she blurted, before she lost her nerve. Should she mention she didn’t expect him to pay her for the time she wouldn’t, hmm, be there to screw him as promised?
“What? You never told me,” he said in an accusatory tone.
She glanced down. “I just found out today.”
He paced the area, his nostrils flaring. Frustration oozed from his body. “You can’t leave me. You agreed to stay when we were in the limo.”
She folded her arms. Her heart slammed against her ribcage. She needed to do this—not because she wanted to, but because it was the right thing to do. She had been the outsider and hated herself for it. Why should she do it again? And why should she serve as a distraction for Zaine and come between him and his wife? His perfectly groomed wife, who carried his child, who worked alongside him, who had known him for a lot longer than she had?
“I agreed before you learned you’re to become a father.”
“We can do this together.”
“No, we can’t. See, as a teenager, I didn’t like that my father’s lover came between him and my mother. I can’t possibly do the same thing to a new baby. It wouldn’t feel right.”
“You don’t understand… I need you. I’ll be present in this baby’s life, and I’ll be the best father I can be. But I can’t go back to Ashley when I don’t love her.”
She believed his words. Another wave of misery washed over her, but she swallowed hard and squared her shoulders. Whatever emotions welled up, she needed to hide them for the time being—or do her best.
“Zaine, I can’t stay. I can’t give up on my dream for you to have it all. The baby, the girlfriend, the ex-wife who doesn’t want to be an ex anymore.” Hell, could he imagine the type of drama Ashley would create if he kept Monique around? Did she really want to be a part of all that? “I can see Ashley hating me and doing whatever she can to be in our way.”
He threw his hands in the air. “Honey, who cares?”
“I care. Because your attention should be focused on the baby, and not on anything else. You’ll be a great father. And one of the hardest decisions begins now, Zaine.”
