Page 19 of Billionaire Enemy's Baby
We head out to the car, and I start up the engine, eyeing Luke sideways as we drive. Luke has always been the most free spirited out of my brothers, he’s so different from the wild child, Wyatt, the creative genius, Garret, and I suppose the straight laced me. But that’s what’s great about him. I know if I speak to him about everything, I’ll get a different perspective.
“So, when you’re back, I suppose I’ll be living it up in New York City,” I begin. “With my tech company which is definitely going to change the world.”
I try to let out a little laugh, to show my brother that I’m just sort of kidding around, although the sound is weirdly strangled. I can’t work out why.
“There you go again, Josh. Focused on the end goal rather than the journey you need to go on to get there. Always trying to take over the world, rather than just live a little along the way. You know, I’ve never understood that about you. Why you don’t want to have a bit of life outside of work. You were like this in high school as well, and probably college. So focused on what you need to do that you aren’t enjoying the present moment you’re in.”
Huh. I suppose in a way, that’s a bit like what Dad said, but in a different way. I don’t need to immediately jump to the top of my game, I am allowed to think about other things along the way. Such as a love life, like a real one, not just a fling…
Is that really something I’m ready for?
Argh, I don’t know anymore. I feel a bit like Grayson. At a crossroads in my life, with no idea what way I want to go.
“Maybe you’re right,” I agree, but with a definite uncertainty in my tone. “I left London, really planning on making it in New York. That’s what I said I was going to do, but now I’m not too sure about anything. Maybe I should just come traveling with you.”
Luke laughed. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea. You’ve had your adventures, right? I think Mom and Dad are just happy to have you back for a while.”
“Yeah, I guess I am enjoying being back here as well. I didn’t think I would want to stay in Beaufort longer than your graduation party, but it’s okay.”
“Wyattdefinitelylikes having you around. I think he’s been desperate for you to see what he’s made of himself. He doesn’t want you to remember him the way he was.”
Thoughts race through my mind as we drive to the airport. I half listen to Luke talk about all the countries he’s planning on visiting, but my brain is really planning my next move. Or at the very least, working out what my next move could be.
Everything is so open at the moment, but it’s restricting to not know which path I should go on. I mean, what if I make the wrong choice? What if I screw everything up by acting too fast? Or too slow?
I hate this uncertainty; it doesn’t suit me at all.
The feeling stays with me like a heavy weight on my chest, even as I drop Luke off and wave goodbye to him. I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place, between wanting to rush off to New York City to have it all, and sticking it out here for just a little longer to spend a bit more time with my family.
“See ya, Luke,” I call out to my youngest brother as he heads towards the boarding gate. “Have a good time, okay? And don’t get into too much trouble.”
He grins back and salutes me before vanishing from view.
I don’t know why, but there’s a strange sense within me that this is the end of an era. That everything is shifting and changing, and I don’t quite know where I’ll land when it stops.
I have to get my shit together by the time Luke gets back, that’s for sure. He hasn’t specified how much time he’s going away for, but that still gives me something of a timeline. Just like Wyatt wanted me to be proud of what he’s achieved while I was gone, I want the same from Luke. I want him to know that I made it too.
In fact, this is the kick up the ass I need to make some calls to New York, just to see what I can get started. As soon as I get back home…
* * *
I can feel Mom’s eyes burning into the back of my head, but I don’t want to face her just yet. I don’t really want to knowwhyshe’s staring me down like that. Probably because she’s been eavesdropping all morning and listening in on me trying my damn hardest to get through to the right people. Little does she know it isn’t a straight forward process.
It takes time.
But if she sighs one more time, I’m going to have to face her.
She does, because of course she does, so I gather myself up and twist around in my chair, away from the computer so I can see what’s going on with her.
“You okay, Mom?” I ask her curiously, cocking my head to one side. She actually does look a little sad, I’m guessing she’s more upset about Luke than I realized.
“Just thinking about everything,” she answers mysteriously. “About all of you.”
I furrow my brows in confusion. “What do you mean, all of us?”
She offers me a sad little one shouldered shrug. “Well, obviously I’m going to be worrying about Luke while he’s off on his travels. I know he’s a free spirit and that he’ll be fine. I shouldn’t be this worried about him, but how can I help it?”
I smile at her. I knew this was going to be about her baby boy, who she really needs to accept is an adult now.
