Page 20 of Billionaire Enemy's Baby
“Mom, you know Luke will look after himself. He’s got a good head on his shoulders. I’m sure he’ll have a fun, safe trip.”
Most of the time,I think to myself, but there isn’t any point in making her worry worse.
“And then there’s Grayson,” she continues as if she hasn’t heard me at all. “I can’t stop myself from worrying about him too. He just seems so lost at the moment. Kinda secretive as well. I don’t knowwhatis going on in his life. Do you?”
I shake my head, a little bit gutted about that actually. Me and Grayson used to be so close, I once knew everything about him. I hate that we’ve grown so distant, even knowing that it’s my own fault doesn’t make this any better. I don’t know what it would take to have him opening up to me again, and if I’ll even be around for long enough to make that work.
“Then there is you.” I let out a little laugh as Mom says this, but the way her eyes burn through my soul I realize this isn’t a joke. She really does mean this shit, but I don’t know why. “I am very worried about you, Josh, maybe even most of all.”
“You’re more worried about me than Luke who’s on his way to Thailand?”
“Don’t say it all doubtful like that, of course I am.”
She rolls her eyes. “Because you are here, but you don’t seem to really be here. Your mind is always off elsewhere, and I have a feeling you’re worried about something you aren’t sharing with me.”
My immediate reaction is to shake my head, but Mom can see right through me. She narrows her eyes in on me until I feel compelled to share with her.
I forgot how good she is at this, at making us all open up, even when we don’t really want to. It’s been a long time since I have let my fears shine free.
“I’m a little worked up about all of my career stuff,” I admit, letting a weight off of my chest that I hadn’t even realized was there. “I kinda had this idea in my head of what it was going to be like when I got back here, I was a bit grandiose I suppose, and now it’s getting to me because I can’t seem to get through to the right people yet.”
“This is in New York?” she checks before she continues. “Well, if that is what you really want, then it isn’t going to be easy for you. Not from here. You need to be in the city you want to work in so you can meet the right people face to face. Seeing someone is much better than email and talking on the phone. The old business methods work the best.”
Is she right about that? Maybe I should consider just leaving Beaufort. My ambition really wants to, but there is something that I can’t explain holding me back. I wish I could identify it so I could get rid of it and just move forwards. I’m always moving forwards, so this is just weird. I think that’s what’s getting to me, the fact that I’m not acting like my usual self. I’ve left a part of myself behind in London. I need to get it back somehow.
“I think I might go and see Wyatt for lunch,” I say as I switch the computer off. “I have been having a good time hanging out with him.”
“Oh yeah?” That cheers Mom up, so that’s something. “I’m pretty sure Wyatt’s been enjoying having you back as well. He seems to be smiling a lot more with you here.”
“So, you aren’t worried about Wyatt then? That’s one of us,” I tease.
“Well, I would like him to find a nice woman to settle down with, I think that’s all Wyatt needs. But aside from that, I suppose I’m not too worried.”
Huh, what a turnaround of events. He was always the most problematic one of us growing up, but now Mom isn’t worried about him anymore.
I can’t wait to tell him that, it’ll give him a great laugh.
Maybe then I can move on to see what he thinks about my life as well…
ChapterEight
LEXI
“Hey, Lexi.” I glance up to see Liss beaming at me. “You coming out to lunch with us today? We’re about to head to that new Italian place just around the corner.”
Ooh that sounds nice. The thought of Italian food makes my stomach growl, but I can’t justify spending money on myself. Not when I have Mya to think about. I have a packed lunch in my bag which might be less appealing, but it’s what I’m going to eat.
“Oh, thanks, Liss but I have too much to do here,” I half lie. I really do have a lot going on, so it’ll be better for me to eat at my desk. “And I’m waiting on some calls.”
“You sure? We’ll miss you if you don’t join us, it’s supposed to be really good…”
I let out a little laugh. Liss is so cool and awesome, and a total sweetheart. She’s so kind and makes me feel welcome here every single day. I like everyone else as well, but she is the one who I like best.
She’s the one person I would consider a friend.
I wave her off as she leaves with Wyatt and a couple of the other mechanics, trying my hardest not to feel like I am being left behind. It isn’t like that. I know they all go out to lunch every day, and I am always invited. They aren’t leaving me out, I’m the one who’s trying to save every penny I can for Mya, for our future.
It hasn’t been the easiest transition to go from us being at home together all the time, to her going to kindergarten and me working, but we’re working it out. We’re doing fine. Once everyone is out of sight, I sigh and head over to the coffee machine. I wait patiently for the drink to pour, my mind spinning at the speed of light. Whenever I’m not focused on the work at hand, I’m always in a hundred different places at once. I guess that’s what comes with putting myself in the middle of the Macauley family with this job.
