Page 140 of Shades of Grey & Gold

We have our coffee every morning, cook dinner together every night (except Fridays, because those are reserved for takeout and bad TV reruns) and she helps me study for the bar.

After graduation, assuming I pass the bar, I already received an offer from one of the top criminal defense firms in the city. They only take cases where the defendants are being wrongly charged. I’ll be the absolute bottom of the food chain in terms of being a brand new attorney, and I’ll have to work hard to earn my spot there, but I know it’s what I need.

It’s what I want.

I feel awkward, so I ramble.

“It’s been nice to have Becca here. And our apartment is cozy.” I glance back at her, again, and grin. “Maybe too cozy sometimes, I think. We probably would be better off getting separate places in the next few months, but we will survive.”

I blink back up into his eyes, trying to pretend they’re not almost identical to the ones that made me feel seen and whole. Almost the same golden-green that traced every part of my body and soul.

What I’d do to see those eyes one more time,the thought comes unbidden.

“No boyfriend though it looks like? Come on, Maxie, you’ve got enough game to get anyone you want in this city and the next,” Nico gives me a playful grin, but I don’t miss the way he glances back to the group behind me, like he’s double-checking the guests.

“No, Nicolas.” I let out a quick laugh on a breath, because at least his humor remains intact, and I shake my head. “I’ve been asked out a few times, but it hasn’t even been three months, I can’t… I’m not…”

My words trail off and he nods, looking down at both of his hands—the two presents weighing him down.

“I’m not over it, I’m not sure I ever will be. He was—” I swallow the sob that threatens to crawl out of me, and Nico looks kindly at me, but he honestly looks bored. “You know.”

He nods again and sighs. He holds the small gift bag in the air over the back of his shoulder. Someone walks up beside him and, although the man is unfamiliar, I recognize the air he gives off. He is massive with dark brown hair, another relative maybe or Gio and Rudi’s replacement—and a glaring reminder of Nico’s current occupation as head of the Renzetti mafia family. He takes the gift bag from Nico and walks back to his place against the wall of the large, marble hall.

“Thisone…” he says it with certainty as he holds up the small box, raising his eyebrows, “is for you, then.”

Nico hands me the small flat box and I can’t help but raise my eyebrows at him with a smile.

A small, genuine laugh escapes my lips, and I nod towards the departed bodyguard with the small black and white gift bag. “So, if my answer was different, would I have gotten the other one?”

The box in my hand is almost weightless.

Nico’s hands find his pockets, his smile picking up the setting sun framed by the two-story glass windows behind me lining the other side of the hall.

He shrugs. “Open it.”

There’s no ribbon. No wrapped paper. The lid is black, the bottom is black.

I lift the short lid, revealing black tissue paper. When I fold it back, there’s a gold keycard and when I run my fingers over it, it’s cold metal.

“Wow, if this is a key to the city, it is seriously disappointing when celebrities get the big, ornate gold-plated kind! But I accept, thank you, kind sir.” I shake my head, looking up at Nico, waiting for the punchline.

His smile is full now, his eyes are sparkling, fully crinkling at the edges, just like his brother’s used to.

“You think if I had a key to the city, I’d give it to the girl who went with a practical stranger on a private jet? Then stayed when she found out his occupation?”

“That was one time! And ‘stranger’ is a strong word, Cal wasn’t—”

My laugh and smile dissolve just as fast as they appeared because I don’t think I’ve said his name out loud in months.

My heart aches, my stomach feels like an empty pit, and nausea climbs up my throat. I clench my muscles and close my eyes, but the white-hot flames that burst from the restaurant that night are permanently branded inside my eyelids.

I open them, reminding myself to breathe.

Nico presses his lips together and breathes in a few deep breaths while I do the same.

“It’s for the penthouse.” Nico looks off, rubbing the back of his neck and avoiding my eyes as he nods down at the key, and I think my heart is going to explode if it beats any faster. “We finished some renovations, added a new guest wing and some other stuff.” The smile accompanying his words is soft, but his sigh is heavy. “Anyway… it’s, uh, in your name.”

My eyes go enormous as I hurriedly place the lid back on the box and shove it towards him. “Oh, Nico, no, that’s… no, that’s too much, I can’t. You don’t have to do this, you don’t. I… I can’t.”