Page 141 of Shades of Grey & Gold

He looks up to the ceiling like he’s trying to remember exactly what to say.

He takes a big breath. “Afancygraduation present, afancynew penthouse for your newfancyadventure,Counselor.”

The ground feels like it might rush up to meet me at his words.

He notices my expression and adds, “The blueprints, that’s what was written on them—for the renovation.”

The nickname rings in my head. Cal has been calling me that since before I even got into law school.

Had been.

Did.

Past tense.

I’m shaking my head, but Nico’s hands don’t leave his pockets. The idea of walking into that penthouse… thatemptypenthouse, previously filled with laughter and love and happiness and memories. Coffee syrups and that balcony where he kissed me. The desk in the study. The bed.

I can’t. The thought of it makes the ground tilt briefly and I swallow, watching my outstretched hand shake under the weight of the keycard as I try to get him to take it back.

His eyes don’t even look down at the box, and his smile is gone. He finally looks into my eyes, and he takes a small step closer and lowers his chin. Even though he is slightly shorter than Cal was, he’s still towering over me almost half a foot.

“I didn’t do it for you. And this isn’t the place for me to try and explain it,” his voice is calm, and his eyes search mine for understanding.

I nod, pulling the box back to hold between my hands.

I pull my bottom lip between my teeth, confused, but remembering the surreptitious nature of the family business. My head is swimming as I glance down at the box.

“If you really can’t accept the gift,” Nico’s words are louder now as he bends down to catch my gaze. “At least accept an explanation. Tonight, around eleven at the penthouse? If, after the explanation, you still don’t want it, you can leave the key behind. We’ll… I don’t know, donate it to charity or some sappy shit Cal would like.”

What kind of explanation does he think will get me to live in that place? I don’t want this.

But a part of me wants to be somewhere Cal was—maybe just for tonight, just to celebrate a door closing, and another one opening.

Like maybe just feeling his presence one more time, being somewhere he once was… maybe that’s okay. I can handle being there and hearing Nico out, whatever the reason is. I wasn’t the only one who lost someone, and I’ve avoided him for weeks.

I inhale deeply, coming to terms with the decision.

“Thank you.” I tap the box with a finger, and his hand reaches out to grasp my wrist. “Thank you for coming.”

His fingers squeeze briefly, the warmth of it reassuring, and his hand slips away.

A small smile touches his lips as he takes a couple steps backwards. “Tonight? Eleven?”

I nod, and he turns to walk down the big hall, muscle in tow.

I watch him go, and when he almost reaches the doors at the end of the hallway, I let my eyes play tricks on me.

From this distance, in the golden light of the sunset, my mind pretends it’s Cal at the end of the hall.

His dark, curly hair; the frame of his body.

But it’s not.

So, I rip my eyes from Nico’s departing figure and look down at the box.

I startle slightly at the hand that slides around my waist. “Ready for dinner?” Becca offers me a gentle squeeze around my middle. “I won’t ask any questions about whatever that was for the whole car ride over as my graduation present to you.”

I giggle briefly, and shake my head.