Page 67 of Demon's Beauty

It’s still only half an answer, and it fills me with an icy whisper of dread.

Where does that leave her? Where does that leave us? Perhaps she’d always intended to live this way: no bonds, no marriage, only a sliver of room at the edge of her life for someone to care for her.

A lover. A partner of some sort.

But not a husband.

And certainly not a true mate.

The commitment mates make to one another in the light of the Goddess would surely not be allowed if simple marriage is not.

“You don’t have to decide anything right now, at least not where I’m concerned,” I tell her, though the words don’t sit quite right even as I say them.

Could I be alright with an arrangement like that?

A half-life between us, instead of the bond I might imagine if I let my own desires run away from me?

I barely know Soleil, but still, it feels like a loss.

The idea that a full life with my mate might be out of reach puts an ache squarely in the center of my chest.

But isn’t that always the way with me?

Never fully committed to anything, one foot perpetually out the door. Why would the Goddess, in all her infinite wisdom, think I was worthy of anything more?

The idea of not having Soleil at all is a thousand times worse than the idea of trying to find some sort of middle ground, though, so I make myself push all that self-pitying nonsense aside.

“We can take our time,” I continue, and though she looks at me like she’s not quite convinced, she nods slowly. “And while we do…”

Soleil meets my gaze, and magick blooms to life in my chest.

Goddess, those eyes.

I’ll never get over them.

“While we do?” she prompts.

“While we do, all I would like is to spend some more time with you.”

“I’d like to spend some more time with you, too.”

I hold my arms out to her, and she scoots across the blanket until she’s in my embrace. Her back to my chest, settled between my thighs, knees bent in front of her as she gets comfortable.

The feel of her soft, curvy body against mine is heaven.

So is the scent of her.

Her magick, powerful copper and earth.

The perfume of stellarin blooms still clinging to her skin, a bit of campfire smoke, the bracing mountain air.

All of it is so appealing that I can’t help but lean down and get some more straight from the source. Soleil giggles softly at my excess, at the way I breathe her in and rumble my approval in my chest.

As night deepens around us and the fire burns low, we stay just like that. Not talking much, not doing much other than soaking each other in and letting the questions go unanswered for now.

I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

I’d stay right here forever if I could.