Page 53 of The Only Seconds that Matter
“You’ve done more hooking up than me.Shouldn’t you know?”
“If it’s just a hook up it’s different.Iknowthis man, we’ve been good friends since April.”
“Just be normal about it.Text him.Say you had a good time and you look forward to seeing him tomorrow.No offense to you and your kind, but men are fucking stupid.They need a little leadership sometimes.”
Victor snorted, then laughed.Trust in Skyler to tell it how it was.“Okay.Okay, I think I can do that.Do you… do you thinkI’mstupid?”
“About boys you are.”
Fair.“He’s probably the only person in a fifty-mile radius that is both interested in men and someone I can get along with, so I just don’t want to fuck this up.”
Skyler sighed.“Something tells me if anyone fucks this up, it’s going to be Johnny.”
* * *
Victor relieved all of his anxious energy the next day by throwing himself into training.He worked his way through several horses before he had a lesson to instruct, and by the time he looked at his watch, he realized Johnny might show up at any moment.He’d texted Johnny last night as per Skyler’s request, just saying he’d had a good time at the rodeo and he’d hoped Johnny had as well.Johnny hadn’t replied, which didn’t bode well, but maybe he’d rather get his feelings out there in person.He seemed like the type of guy who didn’t go for confessionals by text.
Finally, just as he was stepping out of the indoor ring into the stall area, he spotted Taylor skipping his way.She waved happily before skidding to a stop in front of him.
“Can I go see Midnight?”she asked.
“Clean out her stall first.”Victor leaned over and snatched a pitchfork perched nearby.“Then you can do what you want.”
“Okay!”She grabbed the pitchfork with a wide grin and skipped off like Victor had just handed her a present.He chuckled, then turned and spotted Johnny still hanging back by the barn entrance, one shoulder against the wall with his thumbs hooked over his belt.When Victor’s gaze landed on him, he straightened and headed over.
“Hey there, Vic,” he said, a tad more reserved than usual.
“Hey.”Victor swallowed, mind racing.What should he say now?He looked over his shoulder, then gestured Johnny toward his office.Only once Johnny followed him inside and Victor closed the door did Victor feel himself relaxing slightly.He went to his desk chair and straddled it backward, which Johnny must have taken as a sign to go flop down on the couch like an overheated pooch.
“Hope you ain’t mad for me kinda ditchin’ you Saturday night,” Johnny said, removing his cowboy hat and settling it on the couch next to him.
“No, it’s fine.I get it.You had to leave with Sarah.”
“I guess I coulda stuck around… wasn’t really thinkin’ all that well.”Johnny gave Victor a half-hearted smile, and Victor’s chest tightened.His brain was fogging up with sexy thoughts when he needed his mind sharp.
“So, um, I figure we need to chat,” Victor murmured.He had worried all night about coming out to Johnny, but there was no way Johnny wouldn’t figure out on his own if things went well, and Victor didn’t want to be called deceitful, especially since it was so often an insult hurled at trans people.
“Yeah, you got that right.”Johnny shifted on the couch, then perched his elbows on his knees and leaned forward.“When I met you, I couldn’t believe you weren’t married.Have you seen the men ‘round these parts?I guess with a dozen combined you might get halfway to Brad Pitt, but you’re a handsome guy with is life together, his own business… I thought ‘ain’t no way this man is on the straight and narrow’, ‘less women are blind or somethin’.So now it all makes more sense.”
“I, uh…” Johnny seemed to be providing a compliment, but Victor still wasn’t sure.“Thanks?”
“Course, you ain’t real flamboyant or anythin’, so I couldn’t know for sure.Still, there was somethin’ a bit… hmm, I dunno the right word… sensitive?I guess that’s it.You’re more sensitive than most guys I meet.At first I thought maybe you were super Christian, cuz some of those guys are soft as hell but after a while I figured that wasn’t it.”
“You thought I was super Christian?”
“I ain’t ever seen you smoke or mess around with women, and only that one time have I seen you drink.”
“That doesn’t mean—”
“Course, I know you’re from California, and some of those guys are kinda fruity.”
Victor pressed his lips together, trying not to laugh.He probably should have been insulted, but he knew Johnny wasn’t always the most politically correct, even if his heart was in the right place.
“Also, you never eventalkedabout women, and I thought that was weird, too.But now I know the truth I guess, and it makes lotsa sense.You coulda told me earlier, you know.”
“You could have toldmeaboutyou.”
“Oh.Well.”Johnny glanced down at a small tear in the thigh of his jeans and wiggled a finger against it.“How could I have known how you’d feel about it?”
