Page 32 of Irresistibly Us

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I didn’t hate it.

Fuck.

I need to get a grip. Help me get a grip because I’m upstairs in his guest room right now ostensibly changing into pajamas.

Caitlin

What are you actually doing?

Me

Lying face down praying for the good lordess to take me because after I sat on his dick Tyler told me he washed the pajamas I left here last week, including my underwear with holes in the crotch.

Caitlin

I’ve told you to get rid of those, Soph. No twenty-six-year-old woman should be wearing underwear with holes. Not when you can buy so much underwear without holes with two taps of your phone.

Actually, I just placed the order for you. You’ll have eight new pairs tomorrow by 9pm.

Me

CAITLIN PARKER YOUR JUDGMENT AND RATIONALITY HAVE NO PLACE HERE.

And thanks. I definitely would have forgotten and Tyler definitely would have ended up washing my holey underwear again.

Big ugh.

Maddy

What do you need, Soph?

Sarah

Anything, honey girl. We are here to help.

Maya

If it’s in my power, it’s yours.

Me

Someone to help me commit murder? A getaway car driver for after I kill Tyler for making fun of my underwear? One of those flashy memory-wiper things from Men In Black so I can erase the moment I accidentally fell for my best friend? Or maybe erase Tyler’s memory of my holey underwear?

I don’t know. I’ve just had two of my most embarrassing moments ever in the last twenty minutes. I’m spiraling more than usual.

Emmy

Well, it’s really cold outside, which means icicles, which means the perfect murder weapon is readily accessible.

Caitlin

That’s a myth. Icicles are too fragile to be used as murder weapons. Poison is a much better option.

Maddy

It only terrifies me a little bit that you have that information at your disposal.

Me

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