Page 71 of Plaidypus
“I’m holding you to your word,” he warned.
I grinned at his tone and closed the bathroom door before going about my morning routine to restore some normality to my life. Ten minutes later, refreshed and ready to face the day, I emerged from the room to discover a sulking Lucifer glaring at a rather amused Leonard.
“I don’t know what’s going on here, but it looks like Leonard won.”
“You didn’t snuggle. You were supposed to snuggle while naked.”
“We were naked, but we were too tired to snuggle. I didn’t even get to enjoy the nudity. He got to steal some peeks. I’m hopeful he enjoyed the view before he went to bed, too.”
“That’s better on the flirtation front. Do more of that. While naked. There’s little worse than lycanthropes who haven’t gotten any in a while. Leonard hasn’t gotten any in a long while. That’s a whole lot of man to enjoy, so you should hurry up and enjoy him. It’s additional security. If you’re mated to him, no one else can stake any claims. I’m doing what’s best for you.”
“Is anyone going to be attempting to stake any claims while I’m armed with the Geese of the Apocalypse?” I asked.
“Realistically, no. But that won’t stop the fucking assholes on their way to my dungeons from thinking they can try.”
That earned a growl from Leonard.
I grinned at the lycanthrope’s display of displeasure. “That’s what the rock is for. I’ll enjoy dealing with them violently. You can help, Leonard. It can be a date. We’ll find out if we’re compatible in matters of murder.”
“Normally, I should be saying that I can’t condone murder as a member of the CDC, but I find it difficult to refuse,” the wolf replied with a grin of his own. “I accept your invitation to go on a rather violent date involving the murder of those who had you kidnapped. If I’m fired, I’ll just complain to every angel and archangel I come across until Lucifer gets tired of hearing all the whining and hires me.”
“You won’t be fired. The CDC is rather hopeful you’ll charm and seduce my latest minion, as they do enjoy having access to my minions for some reason. If anything, I expect you’ll have better prospects once you’re happily mated.” Lucifer smirked. “You may focus on the happily portion if you like, but I would be aware you play with fire. She’ll make you like being burned, but she has a double dose of stubbornness from her animals, she came out of the packaging rather stubborn, and her wolf is doing a good job of rounding out those milder instincts her platypus brought to the table.”
“I came out of the packaging with a love of hot chocolate,” I corrected. “The rest is up for debate at a later time. What’s on the agenda for today?”
“After a rather lengthy chat with my father, we will teleport directly to Uluru. It seems yet another equine is joining the party, and I want to watch a wolf lycanthrope, a platypus-wolf hybrid, some vampires, and a Shetland pony fight over the corpse.”
Fuck. My life would be over within the next twenty-four hours. “My father went to Australia?”
“I already warned the Quinns of our unexpected visitor, who apparently started with some bargaining before settling in to whine at one of my brothers until he found someone willing to cooperate with him. They’re amused, and as he was owed PTO and itisa family emergency, it’s no problem for him. Your mother is holding down the fort and sharpening knives. It seems she has a few recipes for Shetland pony if he doesn’t retrieve you successfully. I even reassured them you’d be all right. Michael found the entire thing endearing, so he opted to cooperate. The various devils in league with the Shetland pony are so amused they opted against any actual bargains. A chance to yank my chain? They accept those deals every time without question.” Throwing his hands in the air, the Devil took to pacing through the bedroom. “We’re now a traveling circus. My wife spent the past three hours deciding which shape she’d be taking for today’s activities. She is torn between a kangaroo, a grizzly bear to terrify the Australians, as most of them have zero idea what a real bear is actually like, or some form of snake with wings, once again intended to scare the piss out of Australians she decides she doesn’t like. I’ve asked her not to terrorize the Australians, reminding her you have plans to unleash the Geese of the Apocalypse. That did give her pause, but I am doubtful common sense will prevail.”
“She could just come as a goose,” I suggested.
Lucifer stared at me. “That’s just evil.”
“I was more thinking a warning of what’s coming to those who are deserving of having the snot beaten out of them by an angry goose, but I suppose it’s also a little evil.” I shrugged. “If they weren’t deserving of it, I wouldn’t think about subjecting them to geese.”
Leonard eyed me before giving the Devil his attention. “Why not suggest you transform into some form of handsome equine for her to boss around while she shows up as her standard succubus form? That would give anyone pause, and she could have fun while appealing toyou personally.”
“Sheismagnificent, isn’t she?”
“I’m not answering that question, as I value my life,” the wolf replied.
Lucifer snickered. “Just say she is as magnificent to me as Nadine is magnificent to you. That way, no territories are violated, you appease the woman you should have spent all night cuddling with, and you express that you think she is magnificent.”
“I’m just going to say that all of the women in our group are magnificent and leave it at that.”
“Also a wise and safe choice,” he conceded. “Get ready. I’ll pass on your idea to my wife and hope it works. A little common sense in this house would be nice.” The Devil vanished, leaving a hint of brimstone in his wake.
“Did he just suggest he has common sense?” I asked, unable to keep the curiosity out of my tone.
“It seems so. I’m not stupid enough to break it to him that he’s not sensible or possessing of common sense.”
“Neither am I.”
“I’m glad we’re agreed on that.” Leonard stretched, winced at a crack in his back, and said, “I will confess I have some regrets regarding the lack of snuggles or cuddles.”
My wolf agreed with him, and she whined in my head, as she wanted to instigate a snuggling session despite our need to get up and face the day. “I’m guessing wolves like attention, as mine is quite interested in receiving and offering affection.”
