Page 55 of Plaidypus
“Half a second doesn’t seem long.”
“For him, it may as well be an eternity.”
I laughed at the thought of Lucifer panicking because Darlene wasn’t where he expected. “Is he going to take on the form of some sort of mount for our adventure?”
“He’ll probably demand we teleport to the appropriate spot unless it’s close. If it’s close, he’ll take on an equine form. I’m hoping it’s close enough he’ll take on an equine form. I like riding. Malcolm insisted he get in practice with a rider before he became comfortable carting Kanika around. It turns out he had nothing to worry about. He doesn’t have a bucking habit. He just has anxiety problems if he thinks he might do anything that’ll hurt Kanika. You’ll get used to it. He might grow out of it one day. It’ll probably take a few decades.” She heaved a sigh. “Oh, do I hope he grows out of it.”
“I think it’s sweet.”
“Obviously, Canadian men have not yet been trained to dote on women they’re interested in.”
“To be honest, I’ve never actually been involved with a man long-term before, so I can’t really comment on that. My speed was more bar pick-ups rather than lengthy dedication. My platypus, until Leonard came around with the hot chocolate, hadn’t displayed much interest. The wolf came out of the box interested. I can’t even blame my animals for their interest. He wears plaid well, he makes good hot chocolate, and he seems nice.”
“Well, you’re not the first to limit your experiences with men to the one-night stand, and you won’t be the last. I have, through the abuse of my hellish powers and authority, acquired some general dirt on this Leonard fellow. The CDC has been attempting to partner him with someone for a period of seven years now. He was engaged in a relationship prior, but the woman ended up being an abusive nitwit, and the CDC had her dealt with. Permanently. One of the reasons Lucy won’t have him involved with rehabilitation, at least for a while, is because we have the bitch and have been working on correcting the general state of her soul. So, he’s been rather upset by your kidnapping.”
My eyes widened. “He had a mate?”
“It was one sided once she started showing her true colors. I may have interviewed that one upon digging deeper. She tricked him into mating with her, and then she abused him. And with lycanthropes, once in, it’s very difficult to get out. Leonard had some good friends who caught onto her behavior and tipped the CDC off. Generally, the virus will make the lycanthropes figure out how to co-exist. That’s why there are so many rules. Rules you’re probably not fully aware of yet.” Darlene wrinkled her nose and marched in the direction of the coffee shop. I followed, as did Icy. “While you’re having a great time, Leonard is having to face his trauma and the realization that his virus reallydoesneed company even though he’s gun shy.”
When I thought about it, it explained a lot. “And thus the barrier.”
“And thus the barrier. He’s subtle about it, I’ll give him that much. Lucy cheats when he wants to, and peeking into the recent past isn’t much of a problem for him. He evaluated your first meetings with Leonard to test those waters. He doesn’t particularly enjoy traumatizing people he’s trying to match together. He prefers tossing compatible people together and letting them traumatize each other. It’s more entertaining that way.”
How absurd. “If they’re compatible, why do they traumatize each other?”
“Love breaks your brain for a while,” she admitted. “Mine was certainly broken after meeting Lucy. I went into his domain to take the whole place over to save my brother but decided to change my plans. I’d take the place over to save my brotherandconquer the ruler of the many hells. However much he can get on my last nerve, he’s perfect for me. Lucifer doesn’t get up in arms over a couple unless he believes they’re perfect for each other—or the couple has something important to learn before parting ways. Sometimes, he makes arrangements he loathes for the greater good. His nephew was one of those.”
“His nephew?”
“Sam. He’s the one Lucifer partnered with his last cindercorn. Cindercorns are spunky, stubborn, and headstrong as a general rule. Sam, before he got saddled with his first wife, wouldn’t have been resilient enough to handle Bailey at her best or her worst, so he needed to be tempered. His first wife was less-than-ideal, but she was perfect for teaching Sam everything he needed to know to have a good partnership with Bailey. A necessary evil, if you will. In reality, Lucifer is probably balancing the scales more for Leonard than for you. Sure, you play a role in his plans for the vampires, but the one who needs someone like you is Leonard. And Leonard’s nature is such where he’s more likely to be abused than to ever become an abuser. And before you feel sorry for Leonard, don’t. According to Lucy, Leonard hasn’t felt sorry for himself for at least a year and has convinced himself he is quite happy alone. Until you came around. Then you went and turned all that upside down on him. So sad.”
I admired the succubus’s masterful use of sarcasm. “But does he like to hunt and fish?”
“He’s a wolf, Nadine. Wolves love the hunt. Of course, he’s a lycanthrope male, so he’d rather dine on the flesh of a lycanthrope female, but I’m sure you can convince him to go hunting for other types of prey after a few months. Honestly, it took Lucifer almost a decade to teach me I actually like fishing and hunting. Before him, I preferred to do my hunting and fishing at the grocery store. You won’t have to trick your partner into liking your hobbies. He genuinely likes fishing and hunting.”
I snickered at her thought of what Leonard would prefer to hunt—and how long it would take for him to settle down. “I like efficiency, so if you can, give it to me straight. What needs to happen before I can go home? Hell, I haven’t even made it to my new home yet.”
“Uluru is where Lucifer believes the vampires will find their salvation or the first pair of souls will snap back to their bodies. I’m not sure why—or if that’s what will actually happen. He hasn’t told me. I suspect it’s less about the desecrator and more about Uluru being sacred ground. These specific vampires have been primed for a while. From what I’ve understood of Lucifer’s ramblings, it will be like a game of dominos.”
“When one falls, they all fall?” I guessed.
Darlene nodded. “Once the first domino topples, it’ll ripple through the entire vampire population. Lucyhasmentioned that the first of the vampires will be the one hit the hardest. That’s Ernesto, who is with the group. I suspect Pierina, Ernesto’s daughter, is the one with Ernesto’s soul, and Ernesto has her soul. She wasn’t made first; Ernesto was the first of them to be made, as he wanted to give up his life for his lost son, Quinton. I don’t know much about how Ernesto was made into a vampire, but I was told he was created out of love. While love was the motivator, everything vampires are went against the law of nature. And so they were all cursed. Ernesto killed his beloved family, and their souls were all mixed together. It’s the only reason I can think of for Lucifer insisting ErnestoandPierina both come on the outing without also insisting the rest of the family be in attendance. Their souls would be the easiest to untangle, assuming my guess is correct. Then it’ll ripple to the rest of the family and eventually out to the rest of the vampires. What I don’t know is if your role in this is truly over yet.”
“Lucifer didn’t tell you?”
Darlene laughed and waved her hand in a dismissive gesture. “A problem of my own making. If I stopped acting like I’m so damned smart, he’d start filling in the blanks when Idon’tknow something. I haven’t asked, so it’s my fault for not knowing. It could go either way. Honestly, I like the surprise. It keeps life spicy.”
“I would think being married to the Devil would keep things spicy.”
“Oh, he is definitely a major source of spice. But you’re going to be lucky on that front, too. Few outside of demonic and devilish races can match lycanthropes in the spice department. For the record, unicorns count as demonic and devilish races. They’re Lucifer’s beloved creation. Well, mostly.”
“Mostly?”
“Hehas a strange sense of humor.”
That I could believe. “Let me see if I understand this. I hit Icy with my truck. The hot spot turned my brother into a vampire, but he has his own soul still. He’s still my brother, but he has a blood-drinking habit now.”
“I’d say it’s a little more than a habit, but yes. That’s correct.” Darlene patted Icy’s shoulder. “If he’d been a normal vampire, I suppose he would have ended up with Icy’s soul or your soul, as a normal vampire would have killed you as well. That you survived through your brother’s first feeding is remarkable.”
