Page 56 of Plaidypus
Great. “And I became a shapeshifter and a lycanthrope.”
“Yet another first. Icy is the first of her kind, courtesy ofHim. You’re the first occurrence of your kind without direct intervention being involved. Your brother is the first vampire to be created without a soul being imprisoned or sacrificed. I don’t know what it’s going to mean for the world in general, but for Lucy to be as excited over it as he is? Change is coming—important change. Knowing him, it’s probably making it even harder for the conditions for the End of Days to come to pass. That’s the goal. To prevent the End of Days in the first place. Humanity has done a good job convincing everyone that the End of Days is what both the heavens and the many hells want, but that’s just not true.Heloves his family. Lucy also loves his family. For us, the End of Days is the complete destruction of our family, however twisted and strange our family is. Humanity overstepped its bounds and claimedHehas a predestined time and date for the universe to come crashing to a halt, but that’s simply not true. A loving god would never want to see the destruction of all things, especially not that same god’s family. Which is what the End of Days ultimately is. I didn’t understand it until I really saw Lucifer and his father together. Well, as much as any of us seesHim. I’ve only seenHima few times, andHewas careful to be shrouded.”
“What if Leonard sawHim?”
“Leonard would die. I’m sure Lucifer is going to askHimto deal with that problem. Mortal souls need to be prepped to handle the presence of the divine. If you’re around the hells often,Hewill make an arrangement to have Leonard’s genetic marker flipped on in case of accidental exposure. The minions who visit often tend to get that treatment. Lucy refuses to abuse that, though, soHetends to deal with it. Your marker is already on, so you’ll be fine.”
“I don’t understand this whole marker thing and why it’s on,” I admitted.
“It’s complicated, but I expect it was due to the hotspot and your brush with death. Death changes a soul—and does things like flip the marker to on in some people. Others aren’t so fortunate. I wouldn’t worry about it. You’re safe if a shroud slips, and Lucy is being quite careful about his shroud. He had Diana reinforce his shroud, as he doesn’t want your potential mate to suffer from an unfortunate accident. Vampires are safe from dropped shrouds, so don’t worry about your brother. Leonard is the only one we’re concerned about on that front.”
“Poor Leonard. Maybe I should be the one making him hot chocolate.”
Darlene leered at me. “I think he’d prefer if you did other things at this stage, including take your clothes off. His virus is riled up. Purely beneficial for you, I promise. He might tire you out, but you’ll have a good time.”
“I’m going to need some plaid shirts. And he needs to be informed he wears plaid really well. My platypus really appreciates him in a plaid shirt.”
“Are you saying she’s a plaidypus?” Darlene snickered.
My eyes widened, and both my animals did the equivalent of stop, stare, and then groan their utter dismay over having been subjected to such a terrible thing. Unlike them, I admired her willingness to inflict such a horror upon an unsuspecting person, me. “That was amazing.”
“I see you are like Bailey, and you would like to be zinged a second time.”
“If it is with a pun so awful you take both my animals out in one hit again, yes.”
She giggled. “That must be quite the internal conflict. Having a predator and prey species together with you, who may be more predator than prey yourself.”
“I would not call my platypus a prey species. Her biggest complaint in life is that we are not armed with poison-dripping spurs. I happen to agree with her. We’ve agreed we just need to use tools to hit our targets harder. She loves when I go hunting.”
“Ah, I see. She’s big predator energy in a tiny prey body.”
I thought about it, and after a few moments, I nodded. “That seems right.”
“Good. I’ve seen some prey-species lycanthropes have so many problems because of their natural tendencies. Having a wolf sharing space with her won’t be an issue if she came out of the box with big predator energy. Lucy becomes quite obnoxious when he is concerned about such internal conflicts. You’ll learn not to worry too much about his eccentricities.”
“I’m not worried about him. If Lucifer can’t take care of himself, I have bigger things to worry about.”
Darlene laughed. “That’s a good way to look at it. I do hope Australians believe in iced coffee. I’m going to be so disappointed if there is no iced coffee in this country. Well, for the five minutes it takes me to send Lucy off to play fetch for us. He has learned who the real prime evil is, and it’s me if I’m banned from having my iced coffee on a hot day. Or any day, really.”
In good news for me, and perhaps for the entirety of Australia and the world, the coffee shop was nearby, and pictures in the window boasted frozen treats for those wanting to escape the relentless heat. One of the pictures featured an iced coffee covered in whipped cream, which reduced the succubus to drooling.
“I’m ordering that for you,” I informed her, handing her Icy’s reins. “Does Lucifer drink coffee, and if so, what does he take in it?”
“For all we live where we do, he loves cold drinks. He doesn’t admit it, but he prefers his iced coffee blended. I like the ice cubes. I chew on them. The crunch satisfies my soul.”
As I could think of one way to easily contain the succubus for however long it took her to drink her first iced coffee, I would get her two. Lucifer would get one, and I would make his smaller than ours to establish who truly ruled over the trip to Australia.
Ready for linguistic dancing, I went up to the counter, grateful the coffee shop only had a few patrons, and they were already seated.
“G’day, mate,” the barista said, most of her attention on cleaning the coffee machine.
A quick check of the menu reassured me that coffee worked the same general way in Australia as it did in Canada. Bracing for a raised brow and potential questions, I ordered four large iced coffees and a medium iced coffee, which I asked to be run through a blender.
The woman laughed but went to make my order, coming back with a carry tray. I wielded Lucifer’s card and paid for everything, delighting in using his money to help tame his wife, give me a treat, see what coffee might do to Icy, and torment the Devil.
I assumed people went in and out of the shop often with group orders, as nobody batted an eye at my order. Once she brought me the carry tray with my prizes, I left the shop.
“You look puzzled. What’s up?” Darlene snagged one of the iced coffees, tore the paper off her straw, and went to work making friends with her drink.
