Page 17 of Plaidypus
“On second thought, can we resume this conversation after I have my hot chocolate and a shower? I think I got decaying moose on me.” I would have to thank the zombie moose later for the excuse.
If my need for a shower bothered him, he showed no sign of it. “Of course. The goal is to make sure you’re comfortable and able to adapt to your changed circumstances. I can discuss some of your brother’s issues with him while you take a shower. I will admit, after having had a close encounter with a zombie moose, I will be enthusiastic about my showering as well.”
The last thing I needed was to think about him taking a shower. I went about my business to make my mug of hot chocolate, and when it was ready, I fled upstairs to the general safety of my bedroom.
FIVE
My brother had all the luck.
The vampires returned with enough hot chocolate to last through a siege, requiring three trips to the car to retrieve. I assumed they cleaned out every shop within a hundred klicks to do it. I even spied a few containers of milk in one of the bags.
The presence of a young woman in her early twenties put me on edge, especially when I spied the Carlston sisters introducing her to my brother on the front steps. Leonard joined the party, and to my shock, the woman showed off her arm and invited my brother to have a drink.
When I cracked open my bedroom window to better spy, I learned the woman was a succubus who would receive a payment from the incubus afterwards, and that a little pain added to the thrill.
Incubi enjoyed erasing all pain, and she meant to enjoy it.
If my brother wanted to have a drink from a succubus, who was I to stop him? As I didn’t want to find out if my brother would be enjoying any other benefits of meeting a succubus, I fled to the bathroom, opting to take a brief but cold shower to get clean before indulging in the hottest soak of my life.
I could only hope no one noticed we had three vampires, a succubus, an incubus, and a plaid-wearing lycanthrope packing heat paying us a visit. We’d be forced to move on the grounds of becoming the scandal of the decade, topping when our parents had left to go to the United States.
My brother had all the luck. He got a succubus and three vampire chicks. I got a contagious disease and enrolled to be hunted by eligible men infected with the same disease. Worse, I got a double dose of hormones, as both my animals had ideas on what they wanted to be doing.
The internet had warned me lycanthropes had robust sex drives, but I had thought robust meant healthy rather than excessive bordering on the absurd. A warning label informing me I might spontaneously combust would have been appreciated.
With some warning, I would have encouraged my brother to flee town sooner, dodging the CDC and its handsome wolf, thus sparing my peace of mind.
Someone, likely my wretch of a brother, knocked at the door. “Nadine?”
“Has your entourage of potential lovers and the lycanthrope left yet?”
Matthieu laughed. “The lycanthrope is still here, but he sat down on the couch, and the next thing I knew, he’d passed out. Nancy told me not to worry about it. He’s had a hard schedule, and they’d come retrieve him and cart him off after they’ve fed. They’re gone, and they took Mina with them.”
“Didn’t get to debut with a succubus? I grieve for you.”
He opened the door, stepped into the bathroom, and went about the serious business of brushing his pearly fangs. “I bet you do. Mina’s from Chicago, and she doesn’t have a partner. Chicago vampires drink partnered together. The vampires get to enjoy some fun, their partner gets to feed, their donor has a great time, and there’s no pain for the donor. I can be as involved with her activities as I’d like, and if I turn out to be one of those disgustingly monogamous types, that’s fine. I just need to drink, and she can entertain the donor and get her evening meal, too.”
“I do not want to think about you shacking up with a succubus right now.”
“Leonard said you were probably coming to terms with having a lycanthrope’s hormone levels, and he apologizes for being an eligible male. He’s used to it, so unless you express an interest in a long-term arrangement, he’ll politely decline your advances. I’m not sure how I got recruited to talk to you about this, but I’m not happy about it in the slightest.”
“Your status as my brother is probably the main factor.”
“All I know about your sex life is your inability to have a sex life. I don’t even know if you’re a virgin. It’s none of my business.”
I snickered. “While I have mostly struck out in town, I have gone further afield and have successfully dallied with a one-night stand or two. They were not what they were pitched to be, but they were not terrible. And while it’s none of your business, you should be happy that my platypus has become quite picky.”
“And your wolf? Leonard said you’re also a wolf.”
“I am very relieved that she seems to be pickier than my platypus, but as I said before, she has a thing for plaid.”
“You can’t fool me. You’re just into plaid, and the only reason you’re looking twice at him is because he dressed to your taste.”
I considered my brother’s word, debating if he had me pegged right. “No, he’s generally handsome. I bet he would be great in a suit but even better in a pair of swim trunks.”
“Not nude?”
I waved my hand before flicking bubbles in my brother’s direction. “We’ve talked about this before. Breasts are pretty. Penises are not.”
