Page 66 of Work It Out
Vicky wrapped her arms around Pierce’s waist and hugged him tightly. She’d been so affectionate when Jake first met her, friendly and free, hugging everyone on set or holding hands with friends. Mark and his jealousy had stolen that from her, but she’d come a long way in reclaiming it in such a short time. “Don’t worry.” She let Pierce go and stepped back. “Jake would never hurt me.”
Except he had hurt her, and that gutted him more painfully than Blaine ever could.
Pierce scowled at Jake as he walked by but didn’t comment. Vicky watched him go with a sad smile. “You have awesome friends here.”
“Yeah, we do. They’re your friends, too. You know that, right? Except Blaine. He likes you, but I’m still waiting for him to kill me in my sleep.”
“He really does hate you, which is weird because he’s such a big teddy bear.” She tilted her head to the side and considered him. “What’d you do? Steal his protein powder?”
As segues went, he couldn’t have asked for a better one. “He hates me because he thinks he’s in love with Rayah. She doesn’t feel the same. He blames me.”
“Have you guys been together all this time and hiding it from me, like I’m some spoiled child star?” Her voice creaked. “Is it because you think I can’t handle seeing other people happy after everything with Mark or because I can’t handle seeing you happy with someone who isn’t me?”
He had to defuse the moment for both their sakes. “I mean, look at me.” He waved a hand up and down his body in exaggerated motions. “Who wouldn’t be obsessed with all ofthiiiiis?” He drew out the word, long and sassy.
Vicky shook her head, laughing as she tackle-hugged him and buried her face in his chest. “See, you say it like you don’t understand how easy you are to love.”
His heart kicked hard, and he squeezed her tight. He’d held her this way so many times, and yet this felt different. Sadder. Resting his cheek on the top of her head, he whispered, “You do know I love you, right?”
She held him close for one more long second then stepped out of his arms. A sad smile flittered across her face like a cool breeze on a hot day, glorious and comforting but gone all too soon. “Just not the way I wanted you to.”
He stuttered, no idea what to say when she put it out there so baldly. She waved him off, attempting to use the motion to slyly dash tears from her cheeks. “Don’t, Jake. I know you. You’re going to beat yourself up because you should’ve seen it, should’ve done something about it ages ago. Blah, blah, blah. I don’t want you to be sorry. Believe it or not, I knew it’d never happen between us. Sure, a little piece of me always hoped, but—” She looked up at the night sky as if help might come from that direction. “I’ve watched you with dozens of women. You never led me on. You never looked at me the way you looked at them.
“Watching you with those women hurt, but in a having-a-crush-on-the-high-school-man-whore way. You know it isn’t good for you, but he’s so cute you just can’t help it.” Her eyes twinkled when she grinned up at him, but that, too, was fleeting. “In all those relationships of yours, everyone had a good time and everyone knew the score, including me. You didn’t love them. You were always kind, but you didn’t want them long-term, and they knew it. Even Yvonne. Rayah’s different. She’s special.”
Jake stared at his feet, his worn boots suddenly fascinating. “She is.”
“Don’t sound so excited,” Vicky teased. “She’s good for you, Jake. I’m not fifteen anymore. I wasn’t crying because you were kissing someone else. Did it feel great? Of course not. But that’s happened a hundred times before.
“This,” she motioned to the tear tracks and puffy eyes, “isn’t about you and Rayah. Honestly, Pierce and I have been plotting ways to get the two of you to pull your heads out of your butts for days. I just… I saw the way you kissed her, like you needed her to breathe, and I thought, ‘Mark never kisses me like that anymore.’ Then it sort of hit me in the face.” Fresh tears poured from her eyes, and the rest of her words came out on choppy gasps. “He’s really gone. I’ve told myself that over and over, I saw the pictures, but…” She shook her head, frantically wiping at her cheeks. “It didn’t feel real before, like a news reel of someone else’s life. It’s too real now.”
“Vic—” Jake reached for her again, but she paced away from him. Shivers wracked her, whether from the cold or the ache in her heart he couldn’t tell.
“I’m not devastated.” She stopped abruptly, green eyes desperate and untethered. “I should be, right? A good girlfriend—hell, a decent human being—would be wrecked. But I’m not. I’m not sad, Jake. I’m angry. I’m so damn mad at him. And it’s not even because I miss him or because he left me. I’m mad because he found the ultimate way to screw with my head: he put his death on me. I feel guilty, Jake. Why the hell should I feel guilty?”
“I might not be the best person to ask,” Jake admitted. “Because I feel guilty, too. Not about that abusive dickwad’s death, and maybe that does make me a horrible human, but I can’t help it. He saved me some jail time. But I’m so fucking sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me. I’m sorry for doing such a lousy job of protecting you.”
“I never asked you to protect me!” Her scream echoed through the night. “Not from Mark and certainly not from your happiness.”
They stood in that dark, cold parking lot, staring at one another as the stark silence stretched between them, broken only by their harsh breaths and the occasional wailing gust of wind.
“Life’s short, Jake, so much shorter than it should be.” She sounded calmer now, but her fingers still trembled when she pushed the hair out of her face. “You’ve lost weeks with her, weeks you’ll never get back, weeks that could mean everything in the end. And I can’t stand the thought of you losing another minute because of me.”
“It wasn’t just you. Not telling her about my POTS… She’s a real stickler for full disclosure on things that could get her sued.”
“Like you’d ever sue her.” Vicky’s hands disappeared into her sleeves, trying to warm her fingers no doubt. “You’ve never looked at anyone the way you looked at her right before you kissed her. No one, Jake. Not me, not your love interests on the show, and definitely not the woman you almost married.
“Rayah’s amazing. She’s strong and smart, and she’s taken both of us in like two more of her little chicks. But I stood there longer than I should’ve.” She flushed, but she didn’t let embarrassment stop her. “Something happened to her, Jake, something bad. It’s not just what she said tonight. It’s little things I’ve noticed. She gets weird when anyone but you flirts with her, like super uncomfortable, which is bizarre since she’s so pretty. You’d think she’d be used to it. She flinches if anyone touches her when she’s not expecting it. And have you seen her with Doc? She never gets closer to him than she has to.”
“No one does. He free-balls all the time. It’s enough to scar you for life.”
“Oh, I know.” Vicky shuddered. “But I don’t think that’s it.”
He needed to get her back inside, but he also needed to know. “What then?” Because the more he thought about it, the more he believed Vicky was on to something.
“I’m not sure.” She bit down on the pad of her thumb. “At first, I thought it might’ve had something to do with the fact that he can be an incorrigible tease. Sometimes that comes across as creep-tastic, but Doc’s usually so sweet and respectful about it. And she might not deal well with younger guys coming on to her, but none of the Silver Sneaker crowd seem to make her twitchy.
“Then, the other day, I tweaked my shoulder doing military presses. Rayah noticed it was bothering me and showed me a few stretches. She said she’d blown her shoulder out twice. That’s why she quit competing, because she reinjured the same shoulder. But she talked about it like she was relieved to be done with that part of her life. All the medical care seemed to be the only part she really hated.”
