Page 58 of Good Time Boyfriend
My mom frowned at me, pulling me out of my thoughts.
“Baby? What’s wrong?”
At that, everyone went quiet and looked at me, worry etched on their faces. Sadly, it was the same worry that had been on their faces when they were trying to set me up on countless dates, afraid that I would be all alone and never start the next phase of my life.
It was this space that caused me to blurt out the lie in the first place.
Now I needed to make up for it, and I tried to find some backbone.
“I have something to tell you, and it sucks, and I don’t want you to hate me, okay?”
I said that so quickly that everybody immediately tried to reassure me.
“We love you, just talk to us,” Elizabeth said softly.
She held her wife’s hand, while their free hands each held one of their children.
Everybody was so wonderful, I needed to get this over with.
“It’s about Heath.”
“Did he hurt you?” my brother asked, and I shook my head.
“No. Stop. Just let me get through this, and you’ll understand why. At least I hope you will. Heath and I just started dating.”
“Well, I guess it could feel new. And like forever all at the same time, right?” one of my sisters asked.
I shook my head, and realized I needed to be more clear. “No, over a year ago when you kept pestering me about dating.” Maureen opened her mouth to say something, and I realized that using the word “pestering” probably wasn’t going to help.
“I mean, when everybody was worried about me finding a match and wanted to set me up, and afraid that I was never going to find my happy ever after, and you guys were really worried about me, and I was fine. I really was. But I didn’t know how to make you stop.”
My mother frowned at me. “Did we make you feel like you had no other choice?”
And my mother knew, just like that. She knew, because she knew everything about me. But I needed to make it clear for everyone else.
“I lied. When everybody kept asking me over and over again when I was going to start dating and kept trying to set me up with friends and trying to get me on apps because you were so afraid I was going to die a virgin.” I winced. “Sorry,” I said, and my mom shook her head.
“No, keep going.
“I lied. I made up a boyfriend. Only, I couldn’t think of a fake one, so I made up a guy who smiled at me at a bar. I hadn’t even stepped foot in that bar again until the day you guys went to him, because I was so embarrassed about lying that he was mine.”
Everybody was silent for a moment, then Maureen frowned, an odd expression on her face. “And when we went to confront him, did he know ahead of time?”
I shook my head. “No. He didn’t. I have no idea why he went along with it, but he said he wanted to protect me.”
“From us,” my sister said softly.
I nodded, feeling horrible.
“And then it turned into something real. And I think I’m falling in love with him.” I hadn’t meant to say that part. That was just for me, but maybe I should tell them more. Because I was hurting them.
And I needed to make up for it. Perhaps baring my soul would help.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t know how to tell you. That I was fine with the way that I was. That I liked working as hard as I was. That I wasn’t really good at talking to guys. I know it makes me sound like a coward. And I feel like one sometimes. But I didn’t want to continue to lie. I love all of you. I love how we are big and messy and loud. I just didn’t know how to fix it.”
“Because we were so pushy.”
This again was Maureen, as if she was the spokesperson for them all.
