Page 85 of Studs Up
Nolan took my hand and pulled me to the bed while I kicked off the pants still around my ankles.
After he fucked me, thoroughly and completely, until I was nothing more than a blob, he ordered room service, and we ate sandwiches in bed.
“I don’t like this,” I said aloud, accidentally.
He froze midway, tucking a piece of meat back between slices of bread.
His eyes flicked up to mine, and they were shockingly cold.
“Oh god,” I said. “No. Not like that.”
“I suggest you elaborate.”
“I don’t like the limited time,” I explained. “I wish I could stay.”
He put the sandwich down on the plate on the nightstand and sighed.
“Me too,” he said quietly. He slid an arm under my back and pulled me to him. “What about the off-season?”
“Not going to be a very long one for me,” I smirked. He rolled his eyes.
“You talk a big game, sweetheart.”
I snorted. He had called me that a few times. Each time, his tone got warmer and warmer. It wasn’t the sarcastic dig it started as. It was almost starting to sound like, ‘I love you.’
“The point is,” he continued. “We could go somewhere. Just us.”
“Like where?” Where could we possibly go to be together and not be discovered? It was giving palpitations. The risk was so high, and I constantly felt on the edge of borrowed time.
“Somewhere remote,” he brushed a hand through my hair. “Somewhere with no people for miles and miles.”
“Places like that exist?”
“They do,” he smiled. “I have some in mind.”
“You do?”
He nodded and pulled me close, pressing a long kiss to my forehead. God, I loved that.
“It’ll be safe,” he said. “I promise.” It had been a long time since I had the urge to cry, but it bubbled up now, and tears burned the corners of my eyes.
Nolan
Here’s the thing, he was right. It sucked. Letting him leave and only having a few hours together hurt. It hurt more than losing to him.
And that thought stopped me in my tracks right in the middle of the room seconds after the door closed.
Well fuck. I stood there, frozen, as I became more certain that, for the first time in my life, something was more important to me than my career.
Falling for him was so fucking easy I don’t even know when it happened. I was in love with him, which was a shock to me as much as it would be to anyone else who found out. I didn’t even think I had that kind of heart.
I checked out and went straight home. The only consolation I had was a beer and a trip to the roof to sort myself out. It was after midnight, and the stars barely peaked through the clouds that drifted by. The city was quiet, and I was left with my thoughts.
I promised him somewhere far away, and I would deliver. I spent the rest of the night, until the sun came up, researching places to take him.
I waited three more weeks and finally I got off a plane in Austin with Marcel. Bolting to the hotel room was not a good look when I was supposed to hate my roommate.
Not rushing was difficult. I could feel the atoms in my cells vibrating. I hadn’t seen him in weeks. Calls and texts hadn’t been enough.
