Page 43 of On the Plus Side
Everly barely heard her. She was too mesmerized by the tiny details in every scene she never would have imagined Logan would catch: a zoomed-in shot of a dog doodle she’d sketched while on the phone; a panning shot over her shoulder while she worked on a logo for Becca’s freelance website after closing; a moment of Bagel nuzzling her under her chin; Everly and Becca giggling with their heads bent low; Everly laughing exuberantly after she’d made Logan blush, the fluorescent lights of the office catching in her hair and skin like a halo. In each moment, Everly and her art looked so good.
Striking, even.
Her heart pounded in her chest, and her stomach was full of fluttering wings. He was doing what she’d asked for at Sunny’s. He was showing the audience who Everly was. She wasn’t prepared for how much she liked seeing herself through his camera lens. Or for how it would make her feel so weightless, as if she were bobbing in a pool of water.
Her family’s running commentary was nothing but a low, senseless buzz in Everly’s ears. Their words faded against the thrum of her pulse, her mind too full of those perfect pictures of her for anything else.
Maybe this whole experience on TV would be okay. There were only fifteen minutes left in the episode, and the scene had shifted to wardrobe day. Which meant that what she’d shared at Sunny’s about not wanting to date James didn’t make the cut.
Logan had kept his promise.
The realization left her light-headed. It had been hard to ignore her growing attraction to him when she thought she was just someone he had to point a camera at. But this whole episode had proven to her that she was more than that. She wasrealto him. Someone worth listening to. Worth seeing. How was she supposed to fight her feelings in the face of that?
Everly shook her shoulders to loosen them and smiled at Becca, whohad grabbed her hand as Jazzy started rummaging through on-screen Everly’s closet and drawers.
“B, I’m having a wardrobe day,” she squealed softly. She needed to aim her brain at something else to stop thinking about Logan.
Becca squeezed her hand. “And Jazzy’s clearly loving your style choices.” She raised an eyebrow at the screen. The camera was scanning across the giant pile of discarded clothes at the host’s feet.
“Oh yeah, she let me keep everything.” Everly snorted.
At the sound, her mother’s eyes jumped to Everly, her face scrunched in distaste. But for once, Everly didn’t choke her laugh back or try to hide. She was watching herself on her favorite show, surrounded by her family. If there was anywhere that she should be able to show joy, to be her full self, it should be here.
Their gazes met, and her mother’s lips pursed. But instead of making one of her usual comments about Everly’s laugh, she tipped her head at the screen. “This is exactly what I’ve been telling you for ages. The clothes you wear don’t do you any service. I can’t wait to see what this woman finds for you. I hope she shows you how to layer to camouflage your problem areas.”
“No way.” Everly had never heard Becca speak so firmly. “That’s not what Jazzy does.”
“But it’s a makeover show.”
“One that cares about the guest’s happiness, not their size,” Everly pointed out.
It was true that most makeover shows dressed their fat guests to mimic the standard hourglass shape. The advice was always about accentuating your waist and hiding your belly and redirecting the eye. But Jazzy and Stanton didn’t abide by any of that.
Everly’s mom frowned. “But don’t you feel more confident when you look slimmer?”
“No. I feel like a fraud. I want to be comfortable as I am.” Everly reached for Cream Cheese’s soft coat again. Equating feeling good with being thin was her mom’s thing.
With a sigh, her mother sat back against her chair.
As Everly returned her attention to the TV, she realized the three of them had talked right over her explanation of Grandma Helen’s death.
It was a relief, honestly. She wasn’t ready to relive that grief again. Or to deal with how much more judgmental her mother became at any mention of Everly’s grandmother. Sometimes, she wondered if her mom was jealous of the relationship Everly and Grandma Helen had shared. Penny Winters seemed incapable of forging that kind of bond with her own daughter or mother. Maybe she begrudged them for forming their own connection in her place.
Suddenly, Logan’s voice cut into the frame, and the room snapped into silence.
“Fuck it. Greg can edit me out. You arenottoo much.”
Each word, each syllable, spoken in that graveled tone of his, danced shivers down Everly’s spine. She’d been there when he’d said it, but hearing him now, when she wasn’t distracted by her own emotions, drew her attention to the intensity in his voice.
“Who isthat?” Her mother’s fingers wrapped Everly’s arm in a tight grip.
“That’s Logan,” Becca said. “Ev. Oh my god.”
They heard it, too. Everly didn’t know why that knowledge set her whole body aflame, but she was burning hot. It was a wonder the couch wasn’t smoking. “Oh my god, nothing.” She shook her head at Becca. “He was being nice.”
“Bullshit.” Becca aimed the remote at the TV and jumped back a few seconds to replay the scene. She did it once. Then twice. Then a third time. And again.
Everly kept insisting it was nothing.
