Page 24 of When She Loves
What will he do to me? Whatever he wants, I suppose. That’s the point, isn’t it? Starting with our wedding night. Whatever I don’t give to him willingly, he’ll take by force.
My breaths are coming quickly now. A pressure appears on my forearm. I look down to see it’s Vince’s hand.
“Cleo, you’re shaking,” he says in a low voice.
Yes, I’m about to have a panic attack,I want to say to him, but I can’t speak.
Dark spots appear in my eyes.
And that’s when I notice the flowers. Bouquets of blue lilies at the end of every aisle.
Gem’s favorites.
I was at the meeting with the wedding planner when she picked out that exact arrangement.
Something about the flowers cuts through the panic, and I manage to suck in a single deep breath. Then another.
Gem isn’t here, but there are glimpses of her everywhere in this cathedral. She planned this wedding. She chose the flowers, and the music, and this dress, and this veil, and all the other little details that used to be so insignificant to me.
Now, I latch onto them. I claw my way out of my panic and remember that I’m doing this for my sister.
She’d want me to walk down this aisle with my head held high. She wouldn’t want me to fall apart in front of all of these fucking Messeros. I won’t give them the satisfaction of seeing my misery.
The tightness in my throat loosens. “I’m good,” I say to Vince.
When he and I are mere steps away from the altar, I come to a halt.
Everyone in the church quiets, and I can practically sense them salivating. They’re waiting for a sign of weakness, the fucking vultures. But they won’t get one.
I straighten my spine and pull back my shoulders. I let go of my brother’s arm, signaling I’ve got it from here. He gives my arm a squeeze and moves aside.
I take the last few steps toward the altar on my own.
When I’m standing before him, Rafaele reaches over and lifts my veil.
It’s funny how you can hate someone and still find them attractive. Rafaele’s high cheekbones and strong jaw feel like an affront. I don’t want to like a single thing about this horrible man, but I can’t help appreciating the sharp angles of his face, his broad shoulders, and the way his muscular body fills out that bespoke tux.
His jaw clenches. He sweeps his gaze over me, and when he returns to my face, there’s heat in his eyes that burns across my skin.
I look away, disturbed by the intensity. For the first time, I allow myself to face the audience. I find my oldest sister, Vale, standing in the front row beside her husband Damiano De Rossi.
She gives me a broken smile, her eyes swimming with tears. Those aren’t tears of happiness. My heart squeezes.
In the fourth row, I spot Sabina in a gray dress and drab black hat. I guess I’m not the only one who thinks of this wedding as more of a funeral.
A flicker of satisfaction appears in the pit of my belly at the outraged expression on her face. She must have registered that I’m wearing her old mistress’s diamonds. I lift my hand and pretend to brush a strand of hair behind my ear, making sure she also sees the bangles.
Her eyes narrow, and she slowly shakes her head as if in warning.
Does she really think she can scare me?
She’s wrong.
After all, there’s a far bigger monster in this church, and I’m about to marry him.
CHAPTER9
RAFAELE
