Page 138 of When She Loves
The feud between the Messeros and the Ferraros officially comes to an end.
With Vince Garzolo flying to New York and showing his support for me, the Garzolos accept me as their permanent new don. It helps that their old don died because he tried to kill his own daughter. Whoever wasn’t convinced Garzolo was a piece of shit before finally gets on board after that revelation.
There are many questions about Cleo and her whereabouts. There, I mostly stick to the truth. She’s with her sisters, recovering from what happened.
I tell no one about the impending divorce. In fact, I haven’t even called up my lawyer. Every time I dial his number, something holds me back. Something I haven’t been able to exorcise no matter how much I push my body at the boxing gym or how much I drink in the evenings.
It’s been twelve days since she left. Twelve days since I kicked her out of this house and out of my life.
Our last few conversations are a blur. When I try to remember the details, a gaping hole opens in the pit of my stomach. I’m starting to believe I said things I shouldn’t have, and that terrifies me.
I thought that without her here, I’d regain control over my emotions, but despite my face betraying nothing, it’s still complete chaos inside my head.
Something broke in me that day. Something I have no idea how to fix.
It’s after dinner time, and I wander through the empty house, my second glass of whiskey in hand. My feet carry me upstairs to our bedroom, where I can try and pretend she hasn’t left. Her purse is on the ottoman. A T-shirt that she used to sleep in, one of mine, is thrown over a chair. In the bathroom, her makeup is scattered all over her side of the vanity like she was just there, getting made up for an evening out.
Her clothes still hang in the closet. I haven’t been able to pack them away. My fingers brush over the soft satin of that black dress she tried on for me. I grasp the fabric and bring it to my nose. There’s a faint hint of her familiar scent.
My fist tightens, and I bury my face in the dress and breathe her in.
In. Out.
In. Out.
I do it for so long that I lose it. My senses get accustomed to it and it disappears.
Pressure builds behind my eyes. That’s been happening more often in the past week.
The longer Cleo’s gone, the less I recognize the Rafaele that told her to leave. I was so angry. So fucking out of control. And now without her here, I’m lost, wandering like a ghost through a house filled with memories.
There’s a shallow drawer in the closet where she kept her jewelry. I pull it open and find most of it still there. She didn’t take the necklace I got for her birthday with her. Why would she? Why would she want a reminder of me when she can start with a blank slate?
A folded piece of paper is wedged between the velvet insert and the edge of the drawer. I pull it out and unfold it.
“Cleo’s plan for ruining Rafaele’s life.”
There are devil horns above my name. I read the bullet points beneath and huff out an amused breath. At first, it’s no more than a chuckle, and then it builds and builds until I’m laughing like a fucking lunatic. She’s always managed to make me laugh.
It feels good, and it hurts.God,how it hurts.
Eventually, I quiet down. I brush my thumb over her writing and the little doodles she drew on the page. She didn’t go through with her plan. She gave up on the first bullet point.
“You did it anyway,tesoro,” I mutter and take a swig from my glass.
I leave the bedroom and head back downstairs, tapping my glass against the wooden banister as I go down the steps.
Clank, clank, clank.
It’s so fucking quiet in here. Has it always been this quiet in this house?
The doorbell rings.
Cleo.
That’s an insane idea. She’s too proud for that. She’ll never come back here, not after how I treated her. That’s what I wanted, wasn’t it?
There’s another knock, louder this time. Why isn’t anyone opening the door? Then I remember I dismissed all the staff. I couldn’t bear the questioning looks they kept giving me as I roamed the halls. Luca was the only one brave enough to utter her name. He asked if I knew how she was. I roared at him to get out. Roared at all of them to leave for three weeks. As if that will be long enough for me to forget her and glue myself back together.
