Page 50 of Hot Shot
I push those thoughts away as I follow behind the hostess to a table in the corner of the Greek restaurant where I’m having dinner with my father.
“Hey, Madison,” Jake says.
“Hi, Da—Jake.” I stumble over what to call him. In my head I refer to him as “my father” or “Jake,” but what do I call him to his face?
He gives me a tight-lipped smile as I take a seat.
“You okay?” I ask when the hostess leaves.
“Fine. It’s been a long week. And we leave again tomorrow for a week. It’s only the beginning of the season, but it seems to be wearing on me quicker than previous ones. I guess it comes with age.”
“Where are you traveling to?” I glance at him over the top of my menu.
“Nashville, Dallas, and Denver.”
Nashville.My stomach sinks at the name of the city I used to call home. “Oh.”
Before I can say anything else, the waitress comes to take our drink orders—a glass of white wine for me and a Greek beer that I don’t quite catch the name of for Jake. She nods and leaves us to look over the menu. I decide on the Greek salad with gyro meat.
While Jake studies the menu, I glance around at the other patrons—mostly couples, but there are a few families scattered around enjoying their Tuesday night dinner.
The waitress reappears with our drinks and takes our order. I take a long drink of my wine when she leaves before grabbing a piece of fresh pita bread from the basket she left.
“Are you okay?” Jake asks after I finish chewing. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you look tired. Or stressed. Did something happen?”
“Haven’t been sleeping well,” I admit.
It’s the truth. Every time I close my eyes the kiss between Hunter and I replays in my mind. Followed quickly by the expression on his face when I told him it was a mistake.
“Something on your mind? I know we don’t have a relationship really—”
“We’re starting to.”
“Okay, we have the beginnings of a relationship. One that’s not the normal father-daughter relationship. But if something’s on your mind, I’m happy to listen.” He picks up his beer, taking a sip and giving me time to answer.
“You didn’t know I existed for most of my life,” I whisper, taking a huge swig of my wine.I should have ordered something stronger.
He plays with the utensils in front of him for a minute before answering. “I know. I could have known you sooner if only I’d read the letters your mom sent me. But I didn’t. That’s something I’m going to regret for the rest of my life, but now we’re here and I know you. I’m getting a second chance to have a family, a daughter. I know this is probably strange for you. You grew up never having a father, and suddenly here I am.”
“Yeah, it is,” I admit.
Before I can say anything else the waitress reappears with our meals. I mull over what Jake said and whether I want to confide in him.
How I could confide in him without telling him it’s Hunter I’m talking about. I haven’t spoken to Judy because I know what she’d say—don’t fight it, give in, see what happens.
After a few minutes of silently eating, Jake puts his fork down and says, “When I spoke to your aunt I asked her if she knew why your mom never told me she was pregnant with you. Why she never contacted me when she found out. I would have done anything I could to help her with you, I hope you know that. Judy told me that Clea didn’t want to come between me and hockey. She knew how much I loved the game. It was actually a couple of weeks before I got called up to play in the NHL that she broke up with me and left Florida. I’m pretty sure, looking back on it, that it was right after she found out she was pregnant.”
“I’d always wondered what really happened. All I knew about you growing up was that you played hockey, loved the game, and that she couldn’t come between you and your first love—the ice. That you picked hockey over her. Why’d she lie to me?” The last part comes out as a whisper.
“Madison, I’m sorry you thought that.” He runs a hand through his hair.
“That must have been hard, growing up thinking your father picked his career over you.” He shakes his head. “I don’t know why she told you that. Maybe that’s what she thought was going to happen. But I wish she’d told me about you. Let me make the decision.”
My eyes sting with tears as I think about the younger version of myself and how I’d always wished for a father when I blew out the candles on my birthday.
I take a deep breath, trying to pull myself together.
Jake must sense something’s wrong because he leans over the table and puts a hand on my arm. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I was only trying to tell you that I would have wanted you in my life. It wouldn’t have been easy. The life of a professional hockey player is rough with all the traveling and the grueling schedule of practice, games, and conditioning. But if I’d been given the choice, I would have picked you and your mom. I want you in my life now in whatever capacity I can. Whether it’s the occasional dinners and text messages or it’s something more. I’m here in whatever way you want.”
