Page 3 of Be My Temptation (Temptation 2)
Kate couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t think. She opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. As the silence dragged on it became painfully awkward.
She sat up, hugging the blanket to her. Brock loves me? Oh, my God, Brock loves me. Why can’t I say it back? What the hell is wrong with me? He’s everything I ever wanted in a man.
“Kate?”
Kate closed her eyes. “I think you should go home.”
He rubbed her bare back reassuringly as he said, “Don’t shut me out, Kate. Talk to me.”
She shook her head. She didn’t want to talk because she didn’t know how to put into words how she was feeling: a mixture of happy, terrified, and angry. Happy that a man she had feelings for loved her. Terrified to consider getting serious with any man so soon after her divorce. And angry they couldn’t continue on blissfully as they were.
He’d said he loved her.
It was out there.
Three little words had changed everything. Fighting back real panic, Kate said, “Just go, Brock. Please. Go home.”
“I would,” he said dryly, “but we’re at my place.”
Kate half laughed, half sobbed, and started to edge off the bed. “I forgot. Sorry. I’ll go.”
He sat up and grabbed her arm. “No. It’s late. You’re not driving home upset.”
“I can’t stay here.”
“Why? Because I said I love you? I take it back.”
Beneath a heavy fog of confusion, Kate argued the point automatically. “It doesn’t work that way.”
“Well, it sure as hell doesn’t work the way you want it to. Where are you going, Kate? And why?”
Eyes filling with tears, Kate said, “I need to think, Brock. Everything between us has happened so fast. My head is spinning. I can’t handle this.”
“So, you’re okay with sleeping with me as long as I don’t care about you?”
“Yes. No. I don’t know. See why I need to leave? Oh, my God, you must hate me right now.”
Brock turned her to face him. “I don’t hate you.”
r /> Kate chewed her bottom lip nervously. “But you do love me?”
Brock raised one shoulder and gave her a boyishly charming smile. “I always have.” He pulled her to him and hugged her to his chest. “Don’t run away, Kate. I shouldn’t have said anything yet. I know you’re still gun-shy after your divorce.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.” You think you love me, but you don’t know me. What would you think of me if I told you about Mr. Elf? About the real reason I asked you for your number?
“Why don’t you let me worry about what will or won’t hurt me? I enjoy being with you, and you enjoy being with me. Forget about everything else.” When she didn’t say anything, he added, “Well, don’t forget to remove the woman from under my bed. Mrs. Gleason would never look me in the eye again.”
Kate relaxed a little at his joke. She shook her head, imagining what his cleaning lady would say if she found the silicone female body parts Kate had used to create Brock’s fantasy. “Imagine what she would think of us.”
“Who knows, maybe we could inspire her to try the same with Mr. Gleason.”
Kate smiled against Brock’s bare chest.
Brock lay back down, pulling Kate down with him and tucking her back beneath the blankets. “Relax, Kate. Don’t overthink this.”
Even as she snuggled up against Brock, she couldn’t help but remember another time and another man who had said very similar words to her. Brock thought her confusion stemmed from her divorce, and that was partially right, but it also came from the knowledge that she had found pleasure in two men since her husband.
Two very different men.
Although Kate had told Mr. Elf she was finished with him, she sometimes still wondered what it would have been like if she had met him on the twelfth day of their game, as he had planned. She felt guilty each time she thought of him. She hated that she’d kept the phone he’d given her instead of throwing it away, as she should have. But the relationship, having ended so abruptly, hadn’t entirely run its course for her.
He was still an unknown.
Still a temptation.
Kate closed her eyes and pretended to sleep.
I am so fucked up.
So, so fucked up.
Chapter Three
“Is it safe to come in?” Kate called from the doorway of her friend’s home. They were supposed to meet for a walk at 10:00 a.m., but Kate had gotten used to Angie operating on what she called baby time. Considering that Angie had twin boys who were barely over five months old, Kate couldn’t judge. She followed the sound of screaming up the stairs into the children’s room.
Angie gave a flustered smile when she saw Kate in the doorway. “I’m almost ready. I had them both dressed. Then Tim decided he was going to poop so much that no diaper could contain it. I swear they can talk to each other because as soon as I had Tim cleaned up, Tom did practically the same. I know what their first words will be. All I seem to say lately is: ‘Are you fucking serious?’ ”
Kate chuckled and leaned into one of the cribs to pick up one of the crying boys. He settled down quickly and made a grab for her hair, as he often did. Small children used to make Kate nervous, but Angie had an open and loving relationship with hers, despite her occasional bout of profanity. Kate cooed at the infant in her arms. “You would never do that to Mommy, would you? He says you’re making up stories, Angie.”
“Sure, encourage him. Next he’ll tell you he slept all night.” Angie finished dressing one of the boys and picked him up. “So, update me on life next door. You know I’m living vicariously through you right now.”
Kate bounced Tim on her hip gently, hiding the blush that colored her cheeks by momentarily turning away. “My life is not that exciting.”
“It’s better than what’s happening over here. I told Mike we’re not having sex again until he gets a vasectomy. He thinks I’m joking.”
Kate turned back in surprise. “You’re not having sex with your husband?”
“Spoken like a single person with no children. Mike’s working crazy hours right now, to make up for the income I walked away from so I could stay home with the boys. And I am exhausted. Trust me, when these two finally do fall asleep at night, the last thing I’m thinking about is sex. You know what my idea of a perfect night with my husband is? Four hours of uninterrupted sleep.”
“I told you I would watch the boys for you. Maybe the two of you should plan a date night.”
Angie gathered up the boys’ coats and said, “Let’s change the subject. How is Brock?”
Kate helped the little boy she held into his winter clothing. “Good. I stayed at his place last night.”
“I bet you’re still having amazing sex, aren’t you? God, I miss those days.”
Kate blushed again. She followed Angie down the stairs and into the garage, where they secured the boys in a double stroller. They continued their talk once they were out walking in the brisk morning air.
They started up a steep hill, side by side. With her long brown hair swaying back and forth in its ponytail, Angie said, “I know you don’t normally talk about stuff like this, but I have to know—is it as good as I remember?”
Although she and Angie had only been friends for a couple of months, Kate couldn’t imagine life without her. Angie didn’t hold back what she thought. She told it as she saw it, and that kind of honesty was refreshing to Kate. She trusted Angie more than she trusted friends she’d had for years. Friends she had left behind when she moved home. Friends who hadn’t bothered to call to see how she was doing. People who, perhaps, had never actually been her friends at all. “It’s amazing.”
“I probably should take you up on the date-night offer, but if it ended up being disappointing, I think I would just cry. Is that my hormones? I mean, I love my husband, but I don’t feel sexy at all. I’m a mother. I don’t know if I have any desire left in me. That’s not good, is it?”
“I’m sure it will come back.”
“I just worry. Watching you with Brock makes me feel like I’ve lost a part of myself. How do I find my way back to that?”
“Have you tried toys?”
“Toys? You mean like sex toys? I don’t have of any those. Do you?”
Kate kept her eyes focused straight ahead. “I do. My ex-husband was, let’s just say . . . selfish in bed. When I first got divorced I was so angry. I wasn’t sure I had ever enjoyed sex and thought I’d never want it again. I joked about wanting it, but I wasn’t serious. A friend introduced me to toys. I’m not saying they’re for everyone but, if you’re looking for a way to heat things up with your husband, they can be fun.”
Angie stopped and gave Kate a long look. “You’re spicier than you let on.”
Kate gave her friend a wide, unabashed smile. “You have no idea.”
Angie started walking again, and Kate fell into step beside her. They walked in comfortable silence for a few minutes, then Angie said, “I saw you drive by with your car packed with boxes. Does that mean you’ve cleaned out your mom’s room?”
“Mostly, but there’s still a lot to do. I’m giving myself until summer to decide what to do with the house.”
“You and Brock seem pretty serious. Maybe you’ll end up getting a place together.”
Kate tripped over an uneven part of the sidewalk, then said, “Maybe. Brock told me he loved me last night.”
“That’s awesome! Congratulations. Not that anyone would be surprised.”
“I didn’t say it back.”
“Oh, shit.”
“I know. It was really awful. I just froze. I thought I loved my husband, but I never felt for him anything close to what I feel for Brock. Brock makes me happy. Why couldn’t I tell him I love him?”
“Cut yourself some slack, Kate. You haven’t been divorced that long. Brock has to understand that.”
“I hope so. I’m all jumbled up inside these days. Sometimes I’m happy, then I’m angry. I’m scared to rush into something and be wrong a second time. I’m so co
nfused.”
“Give yourself some time. Brock doesn’t look like he’s going anywhere.”
Kate nodded, feeling a hundred times better now that she’d gotten last night’s worries out of her head. “Thank you, Angie. You don’t know what it means to me to have someone I can talk to.”
Angie waved it off and kept her workout-paced walk going. “That’s what friends are for.” After a quiet moment, she added, “So, if I were going to buy a toy, where would you suggest I start?”
After quickly blinking twice, Kate answered, “Not only are remote control Ben Wa balls really effective, but they also have health benefits. They strengthen your inner muscles. If you want to really go nuts, drop the boys off with me for a day, treat yourself to a long nap while your husband is at work, and keep those balls in all day, alternating an hour on, an hour off. Trust me, you’ll be all over your husband when he gets home.”
Angie shot Kate a shy smile. “Have we crossed the line into oversharing?”
“Not unless you feel uncomfortable. You’re a good friend to me, Angie. The kind of friend I always wished I’d had. I’m not embarrassed if you’re not.”
Suddenly looking a whole lot happier, Angie said, “Really, what’s the big deal, right? I’m already hooked up to a breast pump every day. What’s one more intimate connection with an appliance?”
Kate winked at Angie. “As long as you don’t get the two confused.”
Their eyes met, and they both burst out laughing.
***
“What put you in such a bad mood this morning?” Brock’s sister, Linda, asked as she plopped a cup of steaming coffee in front of him.
“I’m in a great mood,” Brock snapped and stood, leaving the coffee untouched on his desk. “Everything is fucking perfect.”
Linda took off her coat and hung it on a hook beside the door. “Did we lose the Fall River job?”
