Page 86 of Last Letters to Ara
I think back to Valentine’s Day when I exited my design room in my corset dress. Theo’s eyes left a burning trail all the way down my body, and we made a deal just so that he could look at me as much as he wanted. I mean, the room had felt like it was about to combust if we didn’t–
“What are you thinking about right now?” Lou asks with a raised brow.
I’m so busted.
“Oh, it’s some juicy shit, isn’t it?” Lou says with a grin. “That’s all the confirmation I need. I’m grabbing another coffee for us both, and this time, you’re telling meeverything. I mean every single,sweatydetail since day one.”
“Wait!” I grab my debit card. “The next round is on me.”
Lou smiles and takes my card.
As she jogs in to get us more coffee, I recognize that this is the first time in my life where I’ve done the talking during girl talk and adored it. Of course, it’s largely because of Theo, the star of the show, but it’s also because of me. And Lou.
If I hadn’t met Theo, I would have never had the guts to quit, which means I would have never met Lou. I have two whole people in my life now. The best people, whom I can call when I need them. I havefriends,and maybe even one who’s a little bit more. So I pick up my phone to send a quick text of appreciation, despite him teasing me about something that will haunt me for the rest of my life.
Me: Sorry again for last night.
Me: You’re my hero.
He texts back before I even lock my screen.
Theo: Anytime.
“What are you smiling at?” Lou asks.
Busted.Again.
“You got a text from Theo, didn’t you?”
I nod sheepishly as she sets down our coffees and hands me my card.
“Start from the beginning. We have exactly one hour before I need to get ready for work. Howexactlydid you meet Theo?”
I think back to that night at the airport when Theo was just a stranger. There I was, completely shattered from the loss of Dad, and Theo walked into my life as if he’s always belonged. Despite my best efforts, he’s never left.
As I describe our story to a captivated Lou, realization crashes through me, soothing scars from the past as it goes. I can’t shed the feeling that Theo was sent into my life by some guardian angel. It’s as if somebody knew how badly I would need him, and put him on the path directly to me.
I’mnotalone. I’veneverbeen alone.
I hope Dad knows.
Present - Ara
THE BOX OFfreshly baked cookies is sitting patiently on my counter. Unlike me. My leg is wiggling uncontrollably as I watch the clock move, minute by minute, as if the harder I stare the faster it will go.
Knock.
I’m moving before he has time for the second knock.
“Hi, Dave!!!”
“Hi there, Ara.” He reaches into his bag with a smile, pulling out the light gray envelope.
I reveal the cookies from where I’d tucked them behind my back, Dave’s smile widening as we make the trade. “You have a good one, Ara.”
“You, too, Dave.”
This month feels different as I close my front door behind me. Not quite contentment, but something like it. I no longer rely on this letter to be the thing which pulls me back from the trenches of despair. Instead, I can look forward to this moment with Dad with a small smile on my face. I brush my thumb over his handwriting, treasuring this gift he’s left me.
