Page 85 of Last Letters to Ara
“Right!?”
“Right.”
“I have no idea how long Theo was awake while I laid there losing my mind, but he knew how much I was freaking out. Can you imagine how awkward I would’ve made it if we hadactuallyhooked up?”
“Wait. So, youdidn’tsleep together?”
“Slept together? Yes. Had sex? No.”
Lou pouts with disappointment at first, but must think better of it. “I guess it’s a good thing y’all’s first time wasn’t while you were drunk.”
“It’s averygood thing because get this: I puked all over my clothes and in Theo’s bed, forcing him to clean it up while I was curled over the toilet.” I rub my face aggressively as if I can scrub away the memory.
“Okay, yeah. That is disgusting.”
“And Theo is such a good guy that he didn’t even make me feel bad about it, he just took care of me and said he was happy to be there.” Until his parting gesture, that is.
“The dude is a saint, I’ll give him that, but it could have been worse. I mean, everyone has been so drunk they’ve puked.”
“But,” I say, cutting her off. “Not everyone has asked for pointers on becoming a stripper.”
Lou freezes. “I’m sorry,what?”
This conversation is worse than when Dad tried to have the sex talk with me.
“I guess I’ve been a little stressed about my new job. I’ve never loved a job the way I do now, and I’ve been worried about messing it up, having to do something I hate again.” I sigh. “It must have been worrying me even while I was drunk, because I told Theo that stripping might end up being my only career path if I do screw up, and I started taking all my clothes off to practice my strip tease audition.”
Lou stares at me, silently shocked before breaking into howling laughter. We get looks from the people at every table outside, and even the people sitting inside stop what they’re doing to see what the noise is about. I can’t help but join in until I have tears in my eyes, screaming with laughter and stomach aching.
“You asked him... how... to be astripper!?” Lou laughs so hard she almost can’t get the words out.
“Yes!! I...hate...myself!” I can’t breathe.
Lou is wiping at her eyes and trying to catch her breath. I’ve never had this kind of relationship with another female, and I feel a little more of my walls break away.
She finally gets her laughter under control, just as I think a few people might file a complaint about us disrupting their meetings. I take deep breaths, trying to fully sober up.
“Okay, I definitely understand why you never want to touch alcohol again,” she says, wiping her eyes while trying to hold in another fit of laughter.
“The only thing that stopped me from shriveling up and dying on the spot was when he said I didn’t need pointers.” I widen my eyes indicatively.
“Didn’t need pointers? As in, it was sexy? Even after puking?”
“I was too embarrassed to ask for confirmation.”
“I bet that’s exactly what he meant.” Lou waggles her brows.
“I don’t think I’ll ever know,” I say, recalling the weirdness at breakfast.
“How did you guys leave things?”
“We had breakfast with his best friend and roommate, Connor, at their, er, apartment.” I decide to leave out the details about the penthouse that the HGTV hoe in me is dying to share. “Connor asked why we hadn’t ‘sealed the deal’ and it got awkward. Theo said there was no deal to seal, so I just agreed with him. And...part of me still fears he’s not into me.”
“Girl, are you blind, deaf, or dumb? Theo nursed you all night with no expectations.” Lou pauses for dramatic effect. “He’s in it for the long haul.”
“Yeah, but is he hauling as a friend or... more?” Why am I even worrying about this? I’m the one who has locked down any sort of feelings for fear of getting hurt.
Lou ponders this over a sip of coffee. “Does he seem like he’s attracted to you?”
