Page 116 of Lead Me On
“I married him. And I got you out of the deal, and I was so happy. But your dad started getting mad that I wasn’t writing as often, and I made too many excuses not to come visit. I got tired of the arguments. The woman next door was married to an inmate, too, and she had a brother in a Texas prison, so I started writing to him. I don’t know what I was looking for, but I kept on looking.”
Jane nodded.
“And then I met Mac and you know what happened after that.”
“Why’d you stay with Mac? After he got out, I mean. I kept expecting that one day he’d go to work and we’d just pack up and leave.” Her mom frowned, and Jane saw wrinkles she’d never noticed before.
“Did you want to?”
“At first, yeah. There’d never been a man around. I was scared of him.”
Her mom laughed, but it turned into a tiny sob and she pressed her fingers to her mouth. A few tears leaked from her eyes even when she managed a smile. “I was, too. I was so shocked at first, I didn’t know what to do. I told myself, the moment he lays his fist on me, we’re out of here. When that didn’t happen, I told myself I’d leave if he said one mean word to you. But he didn’t. He was just like his letters—thoughtful and fair. And sometime later I realized I felt safe with him, even though he wasn’t behind bars anymore.”
She shook her head, sniffing back the last of her tears, and she managed a watery laugh. “I don’t know what would’ve happened to us without Mac. But I… I’m sorry for everything that happened before him, baby doll. I thought I was keeping you safe, living without a man in the house. I thought that was best for you, but… I guess I just didn’t understand.”
“You did your best,” Jane whispered, finally believing it.
“I did, but my best was nothing compared to yours. I’m so proud of you.”
They hugged and cried a little more before Jane walked over to the shop to watch Mac work. It had been one of her favorite hobbies before she’d turned into a sullen youth, and it was the perfect place to find the strength she needed before her next stop.
* * *
CHASE FINISHED WASHINGthe last of his dad’s dishes, then took a very long time to dry his hands. When he turned around, he’d be faced with the sight of his father shaking on the couch.
Chase felt stupid now for imagining they would have a nice Sunday dinner together. But this afternoon when his dad had asked him to come over, for the first time it hadn’t sounded like a request for alcohol. In fact, it hadn’t been. His dad had been trying to quit cold turkey, but by the time six o’clock had rolled around, the tremors had started. Now he sat with an open beer, the contents dribbling out when a bad tremor hit.
“I’m sorry,” he said, eyes falling away from Chase’s gaze.
“You can’t do this on your own, Dad.”
“I’m not giving it up to a higher power!” he snapped. “It’s not a disease. It’s a defect.”
“All right. Fine. Call it whatever you want.” Chase opened a drawer and pulled out a stack of brochures. “There are other programs besidesAA. You don’t have to do it that way if you don’t want to.” He put the brochures on the coffee table, but his dad just eyed them as if they were contaminated with nuclear waste.
“Will you think about it?”
“Yeah, yeah.”
“You helped to catch a killer, Dad. You could still do something with your life. It doesn’t have to be like this forever.”
When Chase’s phone beeped, he pulled it from his pocket with a hard stab of relief. That relief swelled to happiness when he saw there was a text from Jane.
Where are you?
Chase nearly fumbled the phone as he slid open the keyboard. At my dad’s.
Can I come over?
Chase snuck a glance at his father leaning down to grab one of the unopened cans of beer at his feet. The shaking was subsiding, but his pants were covered with damp splotches of beer.
Meet me outside?
Now he was the one hiding his family. Great.
Her car pulled up five minutes later and Chase rushed outside, a smile tugging at his mouth before she even got out of the car. “That was fast.”
“I was at my mom’s.”
