Page 147 of Star Bringer
We work in silence as we set the galley to rights. It only takes about ten minutes, and when it’s done, we leave Max and Merrick to their drunken snores and head down the hallway toward the cabins.
We get to Kali’s cabin first, and I know I should keep walking. I eventellmyself to keep walking. But somehow my feet stay exactly where they are. Right in front of her door.
“Are you tired?” she asks, hesitant in a way I’m not used to from her. She’s been pulling the princess act on me from the very beginning, and I admit, it used to get my back up, but now, seeing her suddenly shy and uncertain, I have to admit that I much prefer her when she’s bossing me around.
“I don’t have to be,” I answer.
She gives me a funny look. “I don’t know what that means.”
“It means if you want a tour of my room, I’d love to give it to you.”
Her eyes go wide, and I wonder if I was a little too forward. But that’s who I am, and it seems pretty absurd to try to change it now. Besides, when it comes to this one thing, I want to make sure Kali knows she’s the one in charge of if and when.
I wait for her to say something, and when she doesn’t, I take a step back. Sure, tonight is especially convenient, since Max is completely out of it, but there will be other nights when she feels more comfortable with this. With us.
Except then Kali’s lower lip wobbles in that way it does that drives me wild—when she’s nervous and she wants to work up the courage to do something but she isn’t sure she’ll be able to. I really hope, this time, she’ll be able to.
So I wait another moment, just to see what she decides. Just to see if that lip is going to wobble again—if it does, I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop myself from nibbling at it.
Kali takes a breath and starts to open her door, and I’d be lying if I said that wasn’t a major fucking disappointment. At least until I hear her say to Rain, “I’m going to be late tonight, so feel free to take advantage of my absence.” Female giggles follow the announcement, followed by a low murmur that makes it sound like Rain and Beckett might be just as glad regarding Kali’s absence as I am with Gage’s and Max’s.
Even before Kali turns back to face me and says, “I’d love a tour of your room.”
Chapter 59
Kali
I’m nervous.
I know I shouldn’t be, know that it is just Ian who is currently staring at me with that look in his eyes like he wants to eat me up. Ian, the same guy I spend most of my time on this ship arguing with—not because he’s always wrong, but because it’s always fun to wind him up.
He’s not the first man to look at me like that—I’m nearly twenty years old. He is, however, the first one I’ve looked back at the exact same way—with a definite interest I don’t even try to hide.
As Ian opens his door and ushers me inside his surprisingly clean cabin—neither he nor Gage nor Max strike me as the uber-clean type; then again, it’s not like there’s so much lying around for them to make a mess with. None of us are exactly drowning in possessions. Normally, I’d be totally okay with that, but right now, when I’m casting around for something to say or something to do, I could really get behind him having a collection of space rocks I could ask about.
Once he ushers me into his room, Ian closes the door behind us. And for a second, I think about running. Not because I don’t want this, but because I do. The truth is, I’ve wanted it for a very long time, though I’ve gone out of my way not to admit it to myself, let alone anyone else. But now that the time is finally here, all I can think is that this is a bad idea.
A very, very bad idea.
What if I make a fool of myself? What if I can’t do what he wants me to do? What if I’m just really, really bad at it?
“You okay?” Ian asks as he walks across the room toward me. “I could run back to the galley and get you some water, if you’d like.”
It’s not a bad idea—all of a sudden, my mouth is desert dry. But I don’t think all the water in the world will change that. Not when Ian will still be standing in front of me, looking tall and dark and sexy. So very sexy.
“I don’t need water,” I finally tell him when I can finally get my mouth to cooperate.
His eyes somehow go even darker—or maybe it’s just that the pupils dilate until they’re so blown out that his beautiful, brown irises are just thin rings of color around them. “What do you need?”
“I—” I break off, my voice cracking. “I don’t know.”
He stops his forward prowl at the words, and for a second I’m terrified he’s going to send me on my way. But then he smiles and holds out a hand for me, and I relax.
I just need to work up the courage to slide my hand against his, and everything will be okay.
When the alternative is going back to my room without feeling his lips cover mine and his body move against me, it’s easy to forget the nerves. Easy to forget everything but Ian and the way he looks at me. The way he makes me feel.
Like—for this moment, anyway—I’m the most desirable woman in the system.
