Page 210 of Star Bringer
“He’s completely head over heels for her. If she died with only five other people on the ship, he wouldn’t rest until he’d killed whoever was responsible. I wouldn’t stand a chance of surviving. Not to mention, we’d lose our best chance to find out if Jarved was ever on Delta V47.”
For a long time, my mother doesn’t say anything. She studies me like she studied Ian and Max a few minutes ago, as if trying to decide if she can trust me.
“What about when the job is done?” she asks. “When you’ve gotten onto the asteroid to find your brother? Will you kill the princess then?”
I swallow down the nausea in my stomach. Do my best to ignore the pain that feels like my skull is being split in two. And whisper, “Yes, of course,” even though I can’t imagine actually doing it.
Again, she studies me. “And you’ll come back to us when the job is done? When the princess is dead?”
“Of course,” I repeat. I’ve known it was heading toward this all along, known I was going to have to leave Rain sooner rather than later. But it still makes me ache to hear it out loud, to know just how close we are to the end.
She shifts her attention to the four necklaces on the table in front of us. “These are Kalinda’s, I assume?”
“They are.”
She holds up one of them—a huge ugly purple pendant surrounded by rondolinite. She studies them closely before holding it up so that the light glints off the jewels. “Definitely real. And definitely part of the Imperial jewels.”
She looks back at me. “Go confirm the list of weapons with your friends. I’ll have them ready when we meet in the Wilds in six days.”
It’s better than I expected—almost more than I’d hoped for.
But as I head into the bar, she calls after me, “You will need to keep your end of the bargain. Or there will be consequences.”
Ian looks up at her words, his dark eyes meeting mine with a question I have no intention of answering. And a trace of suspicion I have no way to allay.
I turn back to my mother with a nod and a look that tells her I get it. Of course there are consequences. In my world, there are always consequences. And those consequences are usually bad.
Why should this time be any different?
Chapter 90
Rain
The Wilds are directly in front of us, and as I watch them through the viewing screens at the front of theStarlight, I don’t know how I feel about that. Because once we rescue Milla—and maybe Jarved—from the asteroid, there will be nothing left to do. We’ll go our separate ways, and I may never see any of these people again.
I may never see Beckett again.
She already said as much to me last week, before we went to see her mother. But hearing it then and knowing just how close it is now are two very different things. Add in the fact that I’ve decided I’m never going back to the Sisterhood, and I feel completely rudderless.
Ice skates down my nerves, and my stomach churns with terror. So many unknowns. So much pain. This living-out-here-in-the-real-world stuff is a lot harder than it looks. But I wouldn’t trade the past few weeks, and everything I’ve learned—everything I’ve done—for the safe ignorance of the monastery. Not for anything in the universe.
“Can we talk?” I hear from behind me.
I want to say no. Talking to Beckett right now is the last thing I want to do, but talking or not talking isn’t going to change anything, so…I nod.
She takes my hand and leads me from the bridge.
“Do you want something to drink?” she asks as we walk past the galley. “A cup of tea or—”
I grab her then, smushing her cheeks between my hands and pressing my mouth to hers like the fate of the universe depends on this kiss.
And maybe it does. Not the fate of the universe but definitely the fate of my universe.
Beckett stiffens against me, and for a second I think she’s going to shove me away. But then she’s whirling us around, slamming my back up against the wall, and unzipping my jumpsuit all at the same time.
I yank my mouth from hers. “What are you—” I gasp, trying to tell her that we’re not in the storage room or our bedroom. We’re in the corridor, where anyone can pass by.
But she doesn’t let me speak. Instead, she slams her mouth down on mine again, biting and sucking her way from my upper lip to my lower as harsh sounds of need pour from her chest. Her hand is in my underwear now, her fingers tracing the sudden wetness of my sex before thrusting inside me.
