Page 167 of Star Bringer
Tiny—I get my height from my father and my Serati heritage. My mom only comes up to my chin, but she has such a big presence, I don’t think anyone notices how small she is.
I think that everything I learned about her while on theStarlighthad me building her up in my head into some kind of monster. And in some ways, she definitely is. But in others, she’s just my mom, with all her good points and her bad.
I need to remember that when it’s time to plead my case.
I straighten my shoulders—posture is nearly as important as your facial expression when you’re a princess—and paste on my best regal serenity. Then I glide down the ramp toward my past and my future, making sure to keep my chin up the whole time.
I can’t tell anything from my mother’s expression, but that’s to be expected. I did get my princess face from her, after all. Still, the last thing I expect when I come to a halt in front of her is for her to hug me.
But she does, pulling me to her and holding me close for several seconds. At first, I’m so surprised that I don’t know what to do—she’s never hugged me in my life—but eventually I figure it out and wrap my arms around her, too.
She smells like flowers, like the big bushes in the garden filled with purple and red blooms. It’s a comforting scent, and I take a deep breath, soaking it in as I try to figure out how I feel.
Weird. Awkward. But also like maybe this was the right thing to do after all.
My mother loves me. Whatever she’s done, whatever she’s planning to do in the future, I know my mother loves me.
I just need to remember that through whatever comes next.
Eventually, she steps back and holds me at arm’s length, her nose wrinkling as though she’s smelled something bad. Probably me—my weeks-long pity party on the trip home didn’t exactly translate into frequent showers. The Imperial transport had all the amenities a princess could dream of, of course, but every luxury just drove a new, painful splinter into my heart, because it wasn’t theStarlight.
“Kalinda,” she says, and there’s real emotion in her voice. “I thought I’d lost you. I thought you were dead.” Her gaze drops down over me. “And what in the system are you wearing?”
“I missed you too, Mom. And I thought you’d recognize it. It’s an Imperial military uniform.”
“I know what it is.” Her nostrils flare. “The question is why it’s on my daughter’s body.”
Well, the choices were this, my ratty old jumpsuit, or Arik’s clothes, which are uncomfortably large on me. But I merely settle on, “It’s been a wild ride.”
Her gaze sharpens on me. “You’ve changed.”
I have. But I’m certainly not about to apologize for that—or make excuses. “I had to adapt to life on theStarlight, but now I’m home.”
“You need to put that period behind you. And thosepeopleyou were with.”
Never.“They saved my life.”
“I’ve seen the reports. They’re murderers and outlaws, the whole group of them.”
“What about the High Priestess of the Sisterhood of the Light—and her bodyguard?”
“You know how I feel about the Sisterhood.” She sniffs. “But I see they’ve influenced you in some way. You always did have a fondness for the underdogs of the system. We’ll have to work on that.”
I don’t think that’s going to happen.But I nod. “I’m already over it. But I would be dead if it wasn’t for them.” This is important, so I look her square in the eye. “Please promise me you won’t go after them. Promise, Mom.”
She pats my arm. “Of course not. No reason to think of them further. And I’ll always be grateful to them for saving you.”
“Thank you so much.” I knew she would see reason. But that doesn’t mean Ian’s words aren’t still echoing in my head, telling me the Empress can’t be trusted. Just in case, I’ll talk to Arik after this, put a few fail-safes in place separate from Mom.
There is one question I can’t wait to ask. “Mother, do you know what happened? Who attacked theCaelestisand why?”
“Not yet, and this discussion will have to wait, Kalinda. First, we need to get you cleaned up; then, we will reveal you to the world. We must show everyone that you are back safely where you belong, that any plan against your life has failed, and that those involved will be hunted down and punished. I’ve already instigated an order that any known rebel sympathizers be brought in for questioning.”
“But you said you didn’t know who launched the attack.”
“Maybe not, but this will do nicely to slow down the rebels. They’re like sloggs breeding in the sewers. Every now and then, they need to be eradicated.”
I go cold at her words. That’s exactly what I was afraid she would do, but hearing her say it like that—so easily—is absolutely terrifying. And infuriating. As is the thought that she used my father’s death as an attempt to do the same thing instead of going after his real killer.
