Page 76 of The Time It Takes
His laughter falters and so does his smile when his eyes lock on mine. I’m not sure what he sees on my face, but I immediately try to fix it. He shakes his head.
“That look,” he says roughly.
My brows furrow. “What look?”
He only shakes his head again before looking away, the muscle in his jaw ticking. His pinky only tightens on mine as we take in each other’s presence as if for the first time in a millennium. As he continues to squeeze my pinky it feels as if he’s saying,you’re here. You’re really here and you’re fine. We’re both fine and we’re us.
As much as I wish that was true, it isn’t. We aren’t really us at all. We’re just two people sitting in a hospital waiting room. It’s almost like leaning on a stranger—that stranger being someone you used to love with every fiber of your being.
His eyes switch between mine, waiting.
I squeeze his pinky. “Ollie, I—”
“Miss Vensling?” The soft feminine voice comes somewhere from our right. When I look up, I yank my hand away from Oliver’s and stand.
It’s Beth. Of course, it is. Who else could have such grand timing?
Oliver’s head drops between his shoulders for a moment before he stands next to me.
“Willow,” I tell her. “You can call me Willow.” I try to offer her a polite smile.
Her eyes regard my entire body before they dart to Oliver standing beside me. Something passes between them that seems a little too personal for me to be witnessing.
I clear my throat, feeling a little awkward. “Do you have an update on my mom?”
A few more seconds pass. “I do…” Her words trail off as she glances at Oliver and then back at me.
“It’s fine. He can stay,” I tell her.
She bites the inside of her cheek and nods. I’m not the only one feeling awkward, then.
“Your mother is fine. It turns out she didn’t swallow any of the pills. She claims she only flushed them down the toilet. She did have a deep gash on her palm that needed a few stitches. Psych would like to keep her under observation overnight. She’s going to be fine, Miss Vens—er Willow.”
I swallow. “They were my um—my father’s. He tore his ACL at his last surfing competition in 2004. It was the last time we all knew the pain was real.” I wipe at a stupid tear that falls and laugh weakly. “I didn’t know Ben had held onto them.”
I don’t know why I was saying it out loud. I can’t make sense of it. I can’t make sense of the mother who always pretended that everything was fine. As much as the woman was absent from my life, she sure did know how to live hers. At least I thought that was true. She had been in default mode. This morning she had just woken back up.
“Can I see her?” I ask.
A crestfallen look crosses Beth’s face and my stomach crawls up the back of my tongue. I start to nod because I already know what she’s going to say. I refrain from letting my face fall.Later, I tell myself.I can fall apart later.
“I’m sorry.” Her words are soft and would almost be soothing if it weren’t for the gap forming in my chest. “She doesn’t wish to see you right now,” Beth finishes.
My first instinct is to run again. I want to go pack my bags and get ready for my flight. I close my eyes to the pain of feeling unwanted and open them to the acceptance of it.
I lift my chin, shielding my emotions. I put on all my battered armor. “Tell her I’m not leaving until I see her.”
Hesitantly, she nods and spares one more look toward Oliver before turning and walking back down the fluorescent-lit hallway. Oliver steps around me so that he is standing in front of me. My eyes are still trained on where Beth disappeared.
“Something’s different between you guys,” I say absently.
“I broke up with her,” he says easily. I open my mouth to respond, but he’s already walking away. “She lied to me,” he states plainly. “I told her I needed space to think.”
“To think about what?” I ask, following closely behind him. He stops abruptly, nearly causing me to run into his back. He slowly looks at me over his shoulder. I swallow thickly at the intensity simmering in his eyes.
“She didn’t lie, she just didn’t tell you the truth.” I don’t know why I’m defending her.
He shrugs one of his shoulders. “What’s the difference?”
