Page 75 of The Time It Takes
“I don’t want to be weak anymore.”
I feel his lips touch the top of my head as he speaks. “So be strong, Will. As best you can and know that if you find yourself going over the edge, hang onto me. I won’t let you fall, but you’ve got to let me be here. Can you do that?”
Something eases in my chest, and I nod.
For a moment, I’m not sitting in a hospital waiting room. My mother didn’t take a bat to the bathroom mirror and destroy Ben’s room. She didn’t blame her son’s death on her daughter. It’s only Oliver. Just two souls remembering how to dance again.
I let his scent overcome everything else and eventually, the tears stop and my breathing eases into a steady rhythm. Somehow my arms found their way around his arm, holding onto it as if it were some sort of lifeline.
“I don’t think I can leave,” I say quietly and his body tenses slightly. “But I don't know that I can stay."
He places his free hand on mine that’s gripping his bicep. “I didn’t mean it when I said I didn’t want you here. It’s just…” he trails off.
“It’s hard,” I finish for him, “and confusing.”
His hand squeezes mine. “Yeah, it is.”
I lift my head and look up at him. “Oliver?”
He looks down at me and I notice how red his eyes are as if he had waited to cry when I wasn’t looking.
I swallow. “It’s his birthday.”
His eyebrows dip. “I know.” We stare at each other, letting the past carry us away. “Do you remember that time I crawled through your window after you two had a big fight and I took you to get ice cream?”
I nod and the corner of his mouth lifts slightly. “He told me to do that. He said you’d never come if you knew it was his idea, so I made you think you were being rebellious.”
A sound escapes me; a mixture of a scoff and a laugh. I smack his arm playfully. “Iwasrebellious. I snuck out all the time.”
He smiles. “With me, Will, and I made sure he knew every time.”
I tilt my head. “Why?”
He shrugs. “I wanted him to like me.”
“Why?”
He tries to smile, but it’s sad. He leans down next to my ear and whispers, “Because I was in love with his little sister, and I needed all the advantages I could get.”
When he pulls back, all I can do is stare at him.How long?I wonder. How long did we both feel the same way and not act on it?
“Thank you,” I whisper, shaking my head.
“For what?”
“For being here and still being you.”
His lips press together in a thin smile of reassurance. “We still need to have that talk.”
I look away. “Later.”
“Pinky swear?” he asks, lifting our joined hands.
I give him a curt nod. “On my brother’s life.” The words slip, but the corners of my mouth lift anyway.
Oliver's eyebrows shoot upward. “Was that a joke?”
I nod, pressing my lips together. His shock wears off and a deep laugh erupts from his stomach. I glance around us and see people staring. I don’t have the energy to care. I catch myself staring at him in awe, a giddy smile plastered on my face at the sound of that laugh. Those damn dimples. The earth can be hit by a meteor, and I still wouldn’t lose my focus on him. Something about seeing him like this feels important.
