Page 32 of Up in Smoke
Bowen whistled quietly through his teeth. “Suddenly feeling pretty good about Sera working in an office.”
“At leastsomeonelet me touch him.” Erin swung her legs off the file cabinet and stomped to her feet. “Boyfriends arebullshit. Can I go now?”
“No.” Derek didn’t lift his head as he riffled through the burly sap’s wallet. “I’m going to need to bring him in to confirm the story. Be sure he wasn’t just making it up to impress you.”
Austin finally lifted his head. “You know, we’re all failing to recognize the real tragedy here. IfIcould disguise myself as a hot girl, we’d have this case solved by tea time.”
“Don’t call her hot.” Connor leaned forward. “Don’t even look.”
Austin rolled his eyes and went back to holding his skull intact.
Derek eyeballed what looked to be a driver’s license. “Where did you meet the source?”
“Hanover’s. It’s a dive around the corner from the prison, so bring Purell.” She picked up her purse, not sparing Connor a glance when he stood. “Oh. I called the three closest fencing companies near Cook. The last one, Windy City Fences, confirmed that they sent out a technician to repair the fence the day after May escaped. Just in case he denies the story.”
The captain looked impressed for the first time since she’d met him. “Nice work.”
She scowled at the warmth she encountered at the unexpected praise. Too many feelings were being leveled in her direction, and she needed a break until she learned how to handle them all. Pretending not to see Sera’s smile and Bowen’s thumbs-up, she turned on her booted heel and ran up the stairs.
Before she could clear the exit, Connor was blocking her path. “Hey. Wait just a damn minute.”
“No,youwait.” She shoved him, but he didn’t move an inch. “I know I have a problem. Believe me, I’m aware. Butfuck youfor punishing me with it.”
His eyebrows drew together. “What are you talking about?”
Erin laughed without humor. “You can’t touch me, so I can’t touch you either?” She was furious at the pressure behind her eyes. “I can’t believe you turned this into a game.”
The color drained from his face. “No. That wasn’t my intention.”
“Get out of my way. I need tomove.”
“Listen to me first. You’ll kill me if you walk away crying.”
“I’m not crying.”
“Okay.” His throat worked. Erin wanted to slap him for looking so devastated. It would be so much easier to block everything out and be mad as hell for a while if he didn’t look like he wanted to sweep her up into his arms. “It feels good to be in control of something, Erin. Even if it hurts. I’m not used to having no plan. No power. It keeps me sane.” He dragged in a breath. “It’s a need I have and I found a way channel it, since I can’t touch you the way I need.Yet. Hurting you didn’t enter the equation. It never would.”
She had the crazy urge to jump into his arms and see if she could stand it. The fact that she could be this mad and still crave the feel of him disgusted her. Another emotion to add to the Molotov cocktail exploding inside her. “Dammit.I’m not having an easy time with any of this.”
“I know. Iknow.” He dropped his head so he could speak at her ear. His breath on her neck sent a shiver racing down her back. It sounded shallow, urgent. “Come home with me now. We’ll make each other feel so good, sweetheart. If you want to cuff me to the bed, I swear I’ll fucking let you. Torture me any way you want, just don’t cry.”
“I don’twantto feel good right now. The hurt is reminding me why I don’t trust anyone.” She booted him in the shin, but his jaw merely went tight. “Move out of my way or I’ll just find another way out, Connor. There are three exits on this level, all of them with street access.”
“Tell me you’ll come home today or I’ll have to follow you.” His gaze tracked over her like he was memorizing her clothing, her body, her face. “Give me that, okay? I give you space and you give me the chance to apologize. I used your weakness against you, but I didn’t mean to. I’m sick over this, Erin.”
“Fine.” She refused to acknowledge the stark relief that she had a plan to see him again. God, this was so damncomplicated. “Life is just a series of prisons anyway, right? If I moved out of yours, I’d just get locked up in another one eventually.”
He didn’t move a muscle as she skirted past him and launched herself into the daylight.
Erin had no idea how long she sat in the booth at Denny’s, turning piles of shredded paper napkins into mini bonfires, but when Polly sat down across from her, she guessed it had been quite a while. She ignored Polly’s quick intake of breath when she snuffed out the flames with her palm.
Streetlights had lit up outside, illuminating the table and the dark-haired girl who worked with her and lived across the hall, but whom she knew nothing about. It circled her thoughts back around to square one, reminding her that she knew nothing. Everything was a mystery. Nothing was solid or permanent. Weird how that used to comfort her. Now it made her nauseous, jumpy.
“Listen up, O’Dea. I can tell you want to be alone, but I found this place first.” Polly straightened her silverware with a dainty finger. “If you want to be alone, find your own fucking hideout.”
“It’s a Denny’s,” Erin said without lifting her head. “Look around. They turn away no one.”
“Yes, but it’s an unspoken honor system. I have squatter’s rights.” She sniffed. “You didn’t even find a different table.”
