Page 61 of A Lifetime of Afters
“I think everybody grieves in their own way, Lou. And you’re a wonderful mother.”
She lay her hand over mine. “Thank you, lamb.” She looked away for a moment before turning back to me. “I try. Everybody grieves differently, this is true, but the signs of healing look pretty much the same. And I see none of those in Hawkley.”
“Do you know we celebrate his birthday every year? We don’t put a number on the cake, though Harley insists we have a cake.” She smiled. “That girl has a terrible sweet tooth.”
“She does,” I laughed in agreement.
Her face softened with good memories. “We do it to remember. We eat too much, talk about old times, family vacations, the trouble you all got into. The Portal to Hell that we all knew was Hunter’s brainchild for which Hawkley took the fall.” Her smile faded. “Hawkley never comes,” she whispered. “Not once in ten years. It’s like he’s taking the fall for this as well.”
“He feels guilty,” I blurted.
Her gaze sharpened on my face, “Why?”
My mouth snapped shut, unsure what to say.
She waved me away. “He’s obviously spoken to you about it and that’s,” she took a deep breath, “that’s a really good sign. I don’t want you to betray his confidence,” she paused. “I’m going to speak to you as a mother. His mother.”
I scrunched my brows, unsure where she was going.
Looking at me intently, she squeezed my hand. “Don’t give up on him. I haven’t seen this much life in him since we lost Hunter.”
“You’ve seen a change?” I asked, eager for any encouragement.
“Yes. A big change.” Her lips trembled and her voice shook. “I want my son back and if you’re the change that’s come over him, I want more of it.”
“I want that, too,” I agreed softly.
She didn’t look any happier at my admission as our server placed my cheesecake and her apple crumble on the table in front of us.
“I have more to say, lamb,” she murmured.
Then she stopped talking. My stomach clenched with what might be coming. I cleared my throat. “But it’s okay with you if we’re together?”
“Oh, yes,” her smile, quick and radiant, reassured me. “Never doubt that. Your mother and I used to dream about it.” She laughed. “We also dreamed about Max and Harley. Can you imagine those two together?”
I snorted. “No. They’d kill each other. Actually…” I laughed.
Lou finished, “She’d kill him.”
“Exactly!”
“Eat your dessert. I want to tell you about me and your mother.”
Stories I’d heard before, as well as a few new ones, she shared them all. Long after I finished my dessert and Lou paid the bill, she spoke of her friendship with my mother.
“I miss her,” I smiled, nodding madly and blinking back my tears.
“Oh, lamb, I know. You haven’t healed either.” She pressed her lips together. “I hope you and Hawk can heal together. I hope that with every fiber of my being. But. Because I love you dearly and your mother will always, always, be my best friend, I’m going to speak for her.”
A chill raced over me leaving goosebumps in its wake. As if I might actually hear my mother’s voice after all these years.
“Don’t settle for less than you deserve. And you, my sweet girl,” tears sprang to both of our eyes at her use of my mother’s endearment for me, “You deserve the world.”
Chapter Twenty-three - Gamble
Slumped behind my desk, I closed my eyes, grateful I had no appointments and no event set up to oversee. Nine days had passed since Hawk walked out on me after the Christmas party, and I’d been riding an emotional rollercoaster ever since.
After the initial shock, I’d focused on my campaign to, well, heal him. I truly believed a visit from Harley and Max would have been enough. Stage two could not begin until he contacted me.
