Page 74 of Anger Bang
He nodded, steeling himself for whatever was coming next.
“If you wall yourself off to the chance at happiness because you’re afraid of being heartbroken, you’re only hurting yourself,” she said, letting her hands drop back to her sides. “There are no guarantees in this life. As one of your fellow true-crime writers said, life is chaos, be kind. I’d add to that, be kind to yourself even if it’s scary, even if you’re not sure how it’s going to turn out, even if you might end up heartbroken. Love, family, and friends are all worth it.”
She smiled at him as she wiped the tears away with the back of her hand again and then nailed him with the kind of soul-deep look only a parent could give a child. “You were and are always worth it.”
Kade had spent his life looking at other people’s motives to better understand why they committed the crimes that they did. The whole time, he’d only half admitted that he’d done it because he wanted to finally grasp why his mom had done what she’d done. Never in a million years had he considered that he was trying to figure out his own why.
Christ, he’d lost the plot completely.
He reached out and took his mom’s hand, squeezing it as he opened his mouth to say something—he had no clue what—but before he could say anything, the door flew open, banging against the outside of the RV. Jackie and Dex stood in the open doorway—or at least versions of the bride and groom Kade had never seen before.
Jackie was wearing a blue dress that looked like an oversize men’s shirt. It was misbuttoned—badly. Dex had lipstick smeared on the collar of his T-shirt and, unless Kade was mistaken, a hickey on the side of his throat. They both had pine needles in their tangled hair and absolutely besotted expressions on their faces as they looked at each other.
The boom mic could have picked up a pin drop, the shocked silence in the RV was so complete.
After what seemed like a year but could have been five seconds, Jackie tore her gaze away from Dex and addressed everyone standing in the RV with their mouths hanging open. “Who’s ready for a wedding?”
Saying chaos ensued would have been an understatement. Everyone started talking at once, asking questions and offering to help get all of the pine needles out of the soon-to-be bride’s and groom’s hair. Kade hung back as the moms went to work like a pair of gorillas grooming their babies. He caught Thea’s gaze, and all of the mayhem faded into the background.
“You okay?” she mouthed, obviously knowing that unless she shouted there was no way she would be heard over all the racket.
He smiled and gave her a thumbs-up. Was he all right? He had no fucking clue. He was unmoored and adrift in a whole new ocean. Part of him couldn’t help but figure that there were dragons that way or that he’d drop off the edge of the map, but somehow it didn’t matter because he realized two very important things at that moment.
One, his mom was right. He’d spent his entire adult life trying to force life into giving him concrete for-sures. That wasn’t going to happen.
Two, whatever it took to make things up to Thea—he was going to do it. Love really was worth it, and he was manning up and admitting to himself he was deeply, irrevocably, never-gonna-be-the-same-again in love with that incredible woman.
“Thank you,” Thea said silently.
He started to make his way over to her so he could explain that he was the one who should be grateful when the kind of loud, screeching feedback that could be heard from space filled the crowded RV.
Glaring at everyone, Justine turned the volume knob on some equipment the sound guy was carrying, and the noise cut off.
“Shut up, all of you!” the producer said before flattening her mouth into a grim line as she death-stared at them all, just daring anyone to open their traps. “Not until the bride and groom are mic’d up and the crew is in place. Our viewers are expecting a wedding, and they’re going to get one, or I’m going to sue the ever-loving shit out of everyone here. Holy fuck, you people are enough to make me go on a silent retreat with Jared Leto again, and that was the worst fucking hell I’ve ever experienced—until now.” She gave them the evil eye. “Bride’s people and groom’s mom, stay here. Groom’s folks, to his RV. Now go!”
Kade dragged a blissed-out Dex halfway through the door before Kade stopped and looked back at Thea. Once he did, though, everything that had been clanging around in his chest settled.
“Talk later,” he mouthed.
She nodded, the corners of her mouth tilting upward and giving him hope that he hadn’t fucked things up completely, and he went back to leading Dex to his RV to get ready for his impending nuptials.
“Ain’t love the fucking best?” Dex asked as they neared his trailer.
Kade could have said anything at that moment and his brother wouldn’t have noticed—he was that out of it over Jackie. Still, the words came unbidden.
“Yeah,” Kade said, already trying to plot out what he was going to say to Thea to convince her to give him a second chance. “It really is.”
Chapter Thirty-Three
Eight hours and one reality TV wedding that turned out to be 100 percent real later, Dex stopped grinning only long enough to shout at Kade, “What in the fuck are you doing here with me instead of across the way talking to Thea?”
Kade glared at his brother as the door to the RV snicked closed, but Dex was grinning like a jackass after laying out that stupid-ass question.
“What am I doing?” Kade shot back. “Being the lookout for the cameras while you change into my shirt, since all of your buttons somehow flew off when you snuck into a supply closet with your new bride.”
“Yeah, that makes sense.” Dex smirked as he buttoned up what used to be Kade’s powder-blue ruffled tuxedo shirt. “Guess I’m just a speed bump on the road to your eternal happiness.”
Kade wasn’t going to kill his brother—not on his wedding day—but still, the temptation to at least smack him upside the head was there. He’d been trying to sneak in a minute with Thea since he left the RV this morning. It was like the universe, his brother, and the production crew were enjoying the hell out of watching him lose his cool by a few more degrees with every missed opportunity.
