Page 42 of Hateful
I wonder if I’ve actually been slowing him down on our runs, if this whole thing is just another act.
This whole thing could be an act. Him. The running. The banter.
I wouldn’t put it past The Brotherhood to sick him on me just to make sure I don’t get too comfortable around here.
Heath must feel the weight of my gaze, because he glances up at me and for a moment our eyes meet. His are dark, almost mysterious. I can’t deny that he’s hot—sexy, even. His eyes smolder as he gazes at me, a smile tugging at one corner of his lips.
“You’re a strange guy, Alex,” he says finally. His tone is different. It’s changed, become soft, inviting. He smiles the most genuine smile I’ve seen anyone in The Brotherhood manage. “I like that about you.”
My heart thumps heavily in my chest. The way he’s looking at me through his eyelashes, with his gaze flicking from my eyes to my lips … is he flirting? Withme? Does he suspect that I’m a girl?
Or … does he believe I’m a guy?
And he’s okay with that. Or maybemorethan okay with that.
I look back at him. There’s a bit of me that wants to kiss him … right here. Right now. I mean, he’s attractive, there’s no doubt about that. He’s one of the most handsome guys at school. One of the most handsome I’ve ever met.
But if he wants to flirt withguyAlex, would he still want to flirt withgirlAlex? Despite how I look, despite everything I’m doing to hide it, I’m still a girl. And anyone who tries to link themselves with me romantically is going to have to understand that.
But it doesn’t stop me from momentarily, just for a second, imagining what it would be like to kiss the last of The Brotherhood.
Heath stands up and takes a step toward me. Reflexively, I flinch away.
“Break’s over,” I hear myself saying, as I focus instead on shaking my head to clear it.
Heath’s face falls a little, but he recovers quickly, shoving his hat back onto his head. “Sure. Let’s get going, then.”
I nod and turn away from him. Part of me is cursing myself. Why couldn’t I just let him get close?
Because it would be wrong,a voice inside my head chides me annoyingly. I start jogging back toward the school.It’d be dishonest. He thinks you’re a boy. He seems to like boy-Alex.
Despite what he’s done to me, there’s a quiet innocence to Heath. It’s contradictory at best, but it’s there nonetheless … and it makesmewant to protecthim.
Maybe I really am the most fucked up one of all.
The two of us are quiet the rest of the way back. It feels like a longer trip this time. Heath slows as we get to the bend in the trail where he usually joins me. Normally I just keep running past him.
This time, I stop.
He stops too, a bit of surprise registering across his face.
“What’s up?” he asks.
“Why do you always stop here?” I ask him, knowing full well the answer but not expecting him to answer it truthfully. Which is why I’m surprised when he does.
“It’s out of sight of the school,” he replies easily, his eyes not leaving mine.
I blink, lost for words. I really didn’t think he’d admit that.
“So you don’t want to be seen with me, then?”
Heath shrugs and folds his arms across his chest. “I can’t. It’d be bad for The Brotherhood’s image. Wouldn’t look good to be paling around with our bitch, y’know?”
I groan in frustration. “Why is that even important?” I ask. “Why does that matter at all to you?”
“The Brotherhood is a time-honored tradition,” Heath replies. He shifts his weight, this time sticking his hands into his coat pockets. “The founders were their own Brotherhood when it started. And then their descendants formed the next. It’s been that way for generations. It’s a tradition that deserves to be upheld.”
“It’s stupid,” I retort.
