Page 65 of Hateful
Just like I knew would happen when I was found out.
For one second, I squeeze my eyes so tight that a single hot tear is forced to trail down the side of my face. What a waste.
What a waste.
But then my eyes snap open.
No.
No, this can’t be it. I can’t just sit back and let this all be a waste.
Jasper knows the truth—how could he have let this happen? I think back, and he did try to warn me … at least I think he did. I remember him following me all over school, shouting about warnings, asking what I was wearing to the race. He knew.
He knew, and he didn’t stop it. Why? Because he doesn’t want his friends to know what a piece of shit he is for attacking me the way he did. The way he … he …
I can’t think about that now.
But it wasn’t just him. Not anymore. What about Heath, too? I thought we had something. I thought that maybe he liked me.Hecould have stopped this.
I grit my teeth. I don’t know where the headmistress is, but come hell or high water, I’m going to find her. I can’t just sit in here and hide like I have been for almost a year now.Almost a year now.
Almost a year too long.
I wait for a lull in the noise outside before darting out of my dorm. Further down the hall I see a crowd of boys hanging around, laughing—probably at me. Fortunately, they’re laughing too hard to notice the subject of their mockery as I rocket in the other direction. I skip down the stairs toward the main floor of the school.
I have one thing on my mind. I have to focus on it to keep my ears from burning with shame. Where would the headmistress be right now? Outside?
Maybe she’s looking for me, too.
I pace at the foot of the stairwell for a moment, thinking. Normally the girls get a little space like a classroom to hang out in while they’re here. Would that be the away team locker room this time? How can I go near a girls’ locker room without everyone noticing? They’ve got to have someone standing guard or something.
I realize for the first time that I’ve never actually had tofindthe headmistress before. She’s just always kind of … turned up, whether I wanted her to or not.
Now that I have to find her, I’m at a loss.
At least, at a loss of how to find her without being seen by anyone else in these crowded halls.
I don’t want to go the main way outside, so I head toward my smoking spot instead. I can take the long way toward the track. Hopefully she’ll be there still.
It’s not much of a hope, but it’s the best I’ve got at the moment.
I slip outside and make my way back over toward the track, heart pounding, the folder still stuffed beneath my hoodie. When the stands come into view again, I can see that the seats have almost completely emptied. Will the girls even still be there? Will the headmistress?
I make my way beneath the bleachers on the west side of the track, listening to the people above me shuffling around. I hear mostly girls’ voices. A few guys are trying to flirt.
“What was up with that guy in the tighty-whities?” one girl asks.
The boy beside her laughs. “Just some loser.”
I purse my lips into a thin line and keep moving. At least not everyone got a close look at the absence between my legs. That’s not the sort of news that takes long to spread, however, so I can’t let my guard down.
Not yet, anyway.
Not until I know I’m protected.
The away team locker rooms are in an outbuilding just north of the track. I head there, still in my dirty socks. I don’t see my shoes on the track. Guess I’ll need new ones.
Great. One more thing I’ll owe Rafael … if Rafael sees the point in helping me out again now that this little charade is crumbling around us.
