Page 61 of Hateful
“Do the girls have uniforms?”
“I don’t know.”
He falls silent after that, which I take as my cue to leave him alone. We spend the next few minutes awkwardly avoiding each other’s gaze in complete silence until Jasper bursts through the door.
“Alex,” he gasps before he glances over and sees Beck. His entire countenance changes in the blink of an eye. “Beck. Hey. Uh, Heath has the uniforms.” Jasper shoots me a look with an expression I can’t interpret. Fear? Nervousness? I don’t know.
We only have to wait in awkward silence for a little while longer before Heath comes in with the aforementioned uniforms. He, too, has a face I can’t read.
“Okay—here we are.” He sets a big cardboard box down on one of the benches. “Care to have a look?”
Beck immediately goes over to the box and throws it open; he pulls out what looks like a full track suit, with shorts and a matching jacket. My stomach drops. I don’t want to wear shorts. Are they really going to make me?
“Yours, Jasper.” Beck tosses the outfit to Jasper, who sets it aside. He digs through again, pulls out his own, shoves Heath’s into his arms, and then pulls out the last one. “Here.”
He tosses a pair of sweatpants at me. I snatch them gratefully out of the air.
“They didn’t have shorts in your size,” Beck tells me. “I had to go into girl’s sizes just to get you those pants.”
Oh, the irony. I glance over at Jasper, who is now carefully avoiding my gaze. “How do you know my size?” I ask Beck curiously.
Beck shrugs. “It was easy to guess. You’re so scrawny, you’re practically a girl anyway.”
Jasper turns his back to me completely. I wonder what I’d see on his face if he hadn’t.
One of the professors comes to get us from the locker room to start our warm-ups. We do as Heath instructs us—just some jogging in place, some stretching, a little walking—the stupid sort of thing gym professors make students do at the start of class. While we’re humoring him, I scan the team for the girls’ school.
I spot Headmistress Robin, instead.
She zeros in on me from her place near the track as soon as I lay eyes on her. She doesn’t wave. She just locks gazes with me, staring me down.
I’m the first to look away. I can’t think about her right now. I have to focus on the race.
The rest of that can come later.
With our warmups done, I follow Jasper, Beck, and Heath back to the locker rooms and do my best to huddle out of their sight as I change into the uniform. Thankfully, Beck got me a full zip-up jacket. It’s too big for me—exactly how I like them. The pants feel weird, but that’s not too much of a problem. I’m just used to the same shapeless uniform pants and borrowed jeans over the last year. I’m not used to fabric hugging my thighs. I tie the drawstring around my waist, forcing myself not to shift uncomfortably in them so as to draw any more unwanted attention to me.
“Now, let’s remember our form,” Heath tells us as we walk out onto the track. The seats are filled with people and the sight of them causes butterflies to erupt in my stomach. I haven’t eaten anything, but I still feel like I might throw up. “Alex, Beck, have you two gotten your baton pass down?”
“Of course,” I reply.
Beck just nods. His eyes are unfocused, staring.
Somewhere in the distance, an announcer is introducing us, telling the crowd who we are and what we’re doing—as if everyone didn’t already know. I barely listen. My pants keep shifting on my waist, so I adjust them again. This whole event isn’t going to take us very long. I have no idea why anyone even showed up.
Everything about Bleakwood, about both these schools, sometimes just seems so hyped up for nothing. We’re all going to be out of here in a year.
Well, those of us lucky enough to make it to our second year.
“Alex!” Heath hisses at me. I look over at him, startled out of my momentary daydream. “Go get in position!” He puts a hand between my shoulder blades and gently pushes me.
I realize Beck’s already walked off to his starting position so I jog to catch up and get to my own. The girls’ team lines up on their lane, right beside ours, but more near the center. They have an advantage. I roll my shoulders back as I get to my starting point. I can do this. I’ve certainly practiced enough.
“Your pants are untied,” the girl next to my position says, pointing.
I frown down at them and tie them again. I must be more nervous than I thought.
“Thanks.”
