Page 97 of Always Beth
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The door shakes as I hammer hard against the wood.
‘Beth. Open up. It’s me.’
The door slowly falls open and as she stands before me, illuminated by the moonlight in the hallway, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her look so perfect. Pregnancy has changed her and for some reason I’m drawn to her even more.
‘What do you want?’ She steps back from me, clutching her stomach tightly.
Her hostility isn’t surprising, I think I might feel the same if things were the other way around.
‘Dick of course.’
‘You could have waited until tomorrow,’ she says gasping for breath.
Like hell I’m waiting.I stalk past her into the hallway. ‘Well I didn’t. Where is he?’
Whirring her hand around in circles, she wanders into the kitchen as I follow closely behind her. ‘I don’t know, somewhere around.’
‘How was dinner?’ I ask reluctantly.
‘We didn’t make it to dinner, not that it’s any of your business.’ She turns away and faces the worktop, spreading her hands wide across the surface.
‘I understand you’re upset, Beth…’
Her shoulders arch towards her neck and the whites of her knuckles glow as her grip intensifies on the worktop. She turns in an instant and her face is filled with rage.
‘Upset? You practically accused me of sleeping around the village earlier. Not even a,Hi, Beth, sorry I walked out on you almost nine months ago, how have you been?Straight in there with the accusations. I thought better of you, James. I thought you knew me better.’
I swallow hard. She’s right. Not that it makes this any easier. ‘What am I supposed to think? I know I told you not to wait for me, it’s just a bit of a shock.’
‘It was a shock for me too,’ she grinds out forcefully.
Clutching her stomach, she arches her back. If things were different, I’d reach out to her, but this is possibly the worst thing I could do right now.
‘It’s not David’s, is it?’
‘No, I told you tonight was the first time we went out. How quickly do you think I can grow a baby?’ She pushes her answer out so firmly, it’s clear she’s trying to make a point.
My insides twist unimaginably as I process the information. No relief comes with the news the postman isn’t the father, but just knowing she moved on is more painful than I’d imagined. This is all my own doing, I practically drove her into the arms of someone else and this is the price I have to pay. To watch the woman I love carry another man’s child. Regret fills me instantly as a similar anguish plays out on her face.
‘James…’
I raise my hand immediately in an attempt to silence her, whatever it is she has to say, I just can’t hear it. I bite my tongue as I look away, trying to curb the onslaught of emotion that’s about to hit me.
‘You can’t even look at me, can you?’ she croaks.
As her voice breaks, it cuts me deep into my core. I couldn’t be what she needed before and I can’t be what she needs now. I rest my hand on the door and hesitate for a second. ‘I’m going to go, I’ll get Dick another time.’
Her hand reaches for my shoulder, and she holds me in a vice-like grip. ‘Don’t you walk away from me, not again.’ As I turn, our eyes meet and we mirror each other as our gaze falls to the pool of water around our feet. Before I can even process what’s happening, she doubles over in front of me, grasping at my outstretched arms.
‘Oh god, it’s happening. It’s too early,’ she cries.
Shit.I take her head between my hands and pull her face to mine, ‘How early?’
‘Four weeks.’ She pushes out through gritted teeth. ‘The hospital, I need you to take me.’
‘I-I…can’t, I’ve been drinking. I’ll call an ambulance.’
