Page 96 of Always Beth
‘Beth.’ The sound of my name on his lips sends shivers throughout the far reaches of my body and as his attention switches back and forth between me and David, an uneasiness grips me.
‘When did you get back?’ I whisper.
‘Ten minutes ago, I’ve come straight round.’
‘Man, you must be desperate to see that dog.’ David laughs as James and I continue to stand in silence.
I place my hand gently on David’s arm and give him the slightest push. ‘Let me meet you in the car?’ Smiling hopefully, I silently will him to leave us.
‘Sure, remember the table’s in half an hour. Good to see you again, mate.’ As he passes, he slaps James on the back, causing him to jolt forward towards me. His jaw’s tight and the hostility is building between us at an almighty rate.
‘I know I told you not to wait for me, but the postman. Seriously, Beth?’
Clutching firmly at my bump, I step back to get a full view of the man I’ve spent the last eight months pining for. His hair is a little longer with a slight curl, his stubble darker than I’ve ever seen and his skin glows like someone who has spent three quarters of the year south of the equator.
‘This is the first time we’ve been out,’ I push out through gritted teeth.
‘So, there’s been someone else?’
‘What?’ My heartbeat quickens and as it pounds within my chest, my anger begins to surface. He hasn’t considered for one second that this child is his, because of course the only explanation must be that I slept my way around the village. He probably thinks I’ve been on the hunt for a baby daddy and hit the jackpot.
‘The father?’ he says slowly.
David pulls up alongside us in the car and I see this as my escape, this isn’t how I wanted to tell him, not that I ever contemplated having to. I thought the day he walked back into my life he would just know that this was his child.
‘I have to go. Come back for Dick another time.’
I yank the car door so hard that David contorts uncomfortably as it flies back on to its hinges. Glancing into the wing mirror, I hold James’ gaze as we disappear along the lane. I would have given anything to have him come home but now he’s here it’s going to be harder than I ever imagined.
* * *
‘You’re very quiet. Are you sure everything’s alright?’
I keep my gaze pinned to the passenger window. This is quite possibly the worst indigestion I’ve had this pregnancy and coupled with my shock at James’ surprise return, my mood has taken an almighty nosedive.
‘Beth?’
I turn slowly towards David, who’s kept his eyes on the road and his hands in the ten and two o’clock position solidly since we left, and realise he deserves better than this.
‘I’m sorry, but I think it’s best you take me home.’
He slowly brings us to a stop at the safest part of the lane and the crunch of the handbrake causes me to wince. ‘She’s James’, isn’t she?
I’ve kept this to myself for what feels like forever and the moment he turns back up, that’s it, it’s obvious to everyone. Everyone except James it seems. Leaning back in my chair, I brush my hair from my face as I struggle to compose myself.
‘It’s okay, Beth, you don’t have to answer that. I don’t want to stand in the way though. Let me take you home.’
He carefully manoeuvres the car around and I grip the seat tightly as a wave of discomfort passes through me. I frown as I try to catch my breath, with four more weeks to go I’m not sure I can put up with this much longer. As we head towards home, I’m reminded I’ve got to face James at some point, but tonight isn’t the time. Tomorrow I’ll sit down and tell him properly, then he can decide if he wants to be a part of our lives.
James
I’ve showered, shaved and tamed what I can of this unruly mane I now call my hair, but nothing, not one single thing has taken my mind off Beth. I was worried I wouldn’t have made it in time, and she would have already moved, but that turned out to be the least of my worries.
Pregnant? I just can’t believe it.
From the size of her she wasted zero time in finding someone else. Whoever the bastard is, he clearly isn’t around, otherwise she wouldn’t be out gallivanting with drippy David. Pulling a bottle of wine from the rack, I pray to god that it’s still palatable. I pour myself a glass to distract myself from the barrage of thoughts swimming around my brain. Is this all my fault, did I drive her into the arms of another man? My stomach churns at the thought of someone else touching her. Whatever happened or whoever happened, they’ve given her the one thing she wanted more than anything in the world and regret consumes me that that person wasn’t me.
As I lean against the worktop, my fingers drum the side of my wine glass furiously. I gaze at the kitchen clock, she probably won’t be home for hours.Come back for Dick another time.I’ll be going back for him tonight, there’s no doubt about it. I sink to the couch and glance across at the empty space that Lauren used to occupy. Closing my eyes, I try to remember, to hear her laugh, to see her smile. A stabbing pain shoots through me and it’s a reminder of why I left in the first place. I thought I knew what I was coming home to and now not only do I have to deal with the loss of Lauren, but of Beth as well.
